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| Lake City, Florida readies for the big drop at midnight. |
The new year is here. And we must strive to make 2009 a better year than 2008.
In that spirit, I’m offering my resolutions for the new year:
- do a better job of helping out around the house
- be tolerant of other people’s point of view
- stop repeating myself
- drive the speed limit at all times
- not throw rocks at the neighbors’ dogs
- give the new president a chance
- stop repeating myself
- stop making fun of rednecks
- stop making fun of yankees
- stop making fun of liberals
- be a role model for children
- pay attention when others are talking
- stop repeating myself
- compliment others
- become a serious blogger
- sprout wings and fly
Offhand, I’d say they will all be equally fulfilled.
Punch more hippies
I resolve to be the first comment.
Don’t do it!
Happy New Year!
That didn’t take long for Fast Eddie to break his resolution.
Punch Hippies in the face with a smile this year!
Be kind to liberals when I call them retards!
Happily pay my taxes while I scheme to avoid them with every possible dodge and loop-hole!
Eat beer in a solid state.
Gut, cook and devour Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd.
Move to a more globular warming climate.
Punch hippies so hard their skulls detach like a 3-stage rocket.
Reload more shells.
Practice more.
Invent a new weapon.
Practice with it.
Establish a rock-solid alibi.
Never leave the house without some kind of weapon in my possession.
Snarl more.
Plan my excape route.
Watch, listen, wait.
(sorry, that’s just my Jan. 1, 2009 hangover talking.)
My real resolution is to avoid the month of Remember:
that’s the month that follows December, which may vary greatly in length, during which you write the date on checks and get the year wrong.
Regarding the truck drop or more to the point the time square ball drop. How many of sophisticated city dwelling liberals know why the ball is dropped ? For that matter do you know why?
Time is an essential ingredient in navigation to calculate longitude….. in many ports around the world there is a time synchronization device ball that allows the sailors to set their clocks from a distance.
When I first heard this I realized where I should be on New Years Eve. In some south pacific ocean port on a 100 foot sailboat. NOT Time Square with the steers and queers. Who would be more sophisticated then?
a good pellet gun works much better than rocks on the neighbors dogs
* Cultivate more garden
* Prune my fruit trees
* Shore-up the bulkhead
* Rebuild the back deck
Oh, I’m sorry, that’s part of my 2009 work list. Okay, how about…
* Stay alive for another year.
* Say “I told you so” and “I warned you” to Democrats.
* Refrain from vomiting when watching the news.
* Tell my cable provider to go shove it up their BNC connector.
* Build a very large antenna on my property
(Oops, I’m slipping back into my “to-do” list.)
.
* Beg Frank to write more In My World.
* Ignore Basil when he brags about the SEC.
* Make sure Ussjimmycarter doesn’t get angry with me.
* Get my money back from that Nigerian general.
* Buy horse and plow.
* RON PAUL!!1111!!
Believe the story when it is announced that Blago was found to have committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head three times with a shot gun.
Support the independent press continuing to get the message of the Democratic Party out to the American people unfiltered through tax payer funded bailouts.
Truck drop? I thought that was the parking lot of a mosque where a Ford was being hanged after being found alone in a garage with a Chevy.
Wait until Barney Frank completes an entire sentence before laughing at him hysterically.
Mount a GAU 2 on the top of the cab of my truck and vow to seek and destroy every Prius and “Smart” (those french-like clown cars) I see on the road. The Molotov Cocktails are reserved for the vehicles with “Stop Global Warming” bumper stickers.
Become more tolerant…smile at hippies before breaking a baseball bat over their heads.
Become more financially responsible…buy aluminum bats to save money on broken bats.
By a pirate ship, and go hunt down Greenpeace vessels.
Buy more ammo.
Bug Frank about getting the Republican Underground underway. WOLVERINES!!!!
Piss off more liberals than last year.
I try to keep it simple:
Listen to democrats more often
Try to find a solution to having my own money spent on stupid crap.
–Wait at least six months before purchasing “1.20.13–The End of an Error” stickers in bulk from Cafe Press.
–Laugh uproariously when Hopey McChangerson dashes the hopes of various libtard constituencies.
–Conceive a way to make hippies punch themselves.
–Buy more guns and ammo.
Actually, I abhor New Year’s resolutions because people who are determined to act don’t need them, and those who need them probably won’t keep them.
So cheer up and outsource the stuff you don’t want to do!
* Sell my 2009 Rose Bowl shirt on Ebay.
– To get myself a handgun, ammo, and 4 years supply of can foods.
– Build myself a underground hideout once the Russkies invade. After all, the Demoncrats will welcome their Marxist Brothers with open arms.
Stop listening to Basil repeat himself
Stop referring to present elect hussein as the terrorist sympathizing appeasist in the White House and refer to it as hussein the terrorist holding the White House hostage
Punch hippies harder than Frank or Basil (Thats just because I like the sound their heads make when they pop)
Stop trying to burn off Basil’s wings
Take my gun back from the monkey
cforona, you must have an iron gut and no taste buds. To even consider eating bottom feeders like reid, pelosi, dodd, and blarney frank is something that even a vulture wouldn’t consider.
Stop hating people as a species and focus on hating individual stupid people.
Get my very own concealed carry permit and a nice “hand bag” gun to go with it.
“Kill with kindness” those enlightened folks who try to free me from my religious “cult”.
Go to bed early.
Stop killing murlocks at 9:00PM (see above)
Engage in Obama Derangement Syndrome at any and all times, places and opportunities.
Stop praying for the end of the world and start praying for the idiots bringing it about.
And last but by no means least…….tell every Demoncrat, liberal, hippie and intellectual I TOLD YOU SO, DUMB BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop being critical of other Big 10 Teams. Every one of them other than my Iowa Hawkeyes are Homosexuals who have either not made it to a Bowl Game or have lost. Ohio State is about to be slaughtered Monday…by the way…BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAA!
Make more money (check — just landed a new job at a big hike in pay!)
Figure out how to give libtard hippies less of said money
Bring left and right together by punching hippies with both fists
Do a better job of pretending to listen seriously to arguments wielded by my liberal friends
Try to feel some remorse when I fail at pretending to listen seriously to liberals
Stop praying for the end of the world and start praying for the idiots bringing it about.” – seanmahair
Or start praying for the demise of idiots, as in a good fire and brimestone smiting from the almight smiter. (But I know you didn’t mean that!)
* Learn how to type without errors and proofread what I type. (horn sound)
Where is everyone today?
Some of us have to work today, boyo. Don’t worry about the spelling, I have nuns waiting on the other side to hit me with rulers because I not only have typos, I really don’t know how to spell.
Corona (#6): You may want to think about your plan to “Gut, cook and devour Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd.” I hear liberals are high in cholesterol, so that might not be such a great idea. But if you insist, don’t think I’ll stop you!
Anyway… here’s my resolution:
Find every imaginable way to minimize the amount of money Obama’s regime gets to steal from me via the IRS.
I was hit on the hands with a ruler by a nun in 4th grade, seanmahair – one time. After she did it, I smiled at her and she got angry! I was taller than she was and probably could have hung her up on a coat hook. (Hey, I was big for my age, what can I say?)
Stories about nuns. Now there’s a blog topic.
If the devil’s picking your pocket, give it away faster than he can steal it!
“Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
– Matthew 6:19-21.
http://conchtees.com/shirt/men/obamunism.php
i’m going to order some of these
Being a role model for children is easy. You can get children to just about anything. They’re stupid that way.
And that is why some people just shouldn’t breed. Seriously.