Well, Obama approved some shovel ready road and bridge projects three years ago that just started, but that means he opened all the new restaurants since then.
…now he’s just working on a name. Right now, it’s between Boston Terrier Market, Jack Russel Terrier In The Box, Beagle King or Taco Briard. Either way, it’s easy to find…just look for the Golden Retriever arches.
And in an unrelated story, the local animal shelter has seen a dramatic increase in dog adoptions, particularly with the larger, meatier breeds. Attempts by shelter personnel to follow up on these adoptions to see how they worked out, however, have been unsuccessful so far.
He even has an ad jingle playing in black and latino neighborhoods:
You can get
Anything you want
At Obama’s restaurant (for free!)
You can get
Anything you want
At Obama’s restaurant (vote for me!)
Walk right in
It’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track, and
You can get
Anything you want
At Obama’s restaurant (try the dog!)
using 100% union labor, green energy, Humane Society meat products and organic foods delivered only by Volt. Even with tax subisidies for each entree, folks couldn’t afford to dine there.
♫♪
Walk right in,
Sit right down,
Doggy, let your tongue hang down.
Everybody’s talking ’bout a new way of cookin’,
Do you want to lose you mind?
Walk right in,
Sit right down,
Doggy let your tongue hang down.
♪♫♪♫
called The Progressive Diner. When you arrive, the bureaucrat/waitress tells you where to sit, what to order, how much to eat and how many of the other patrons you get to buy dinner for.
…. with $100,000,000. of ‘stimulus’ money. He donates $10m to the “Obama for King” campaign. A year and a half later he files bankruptcy and closes the business with a nice five million dollar ‘parachute’ for himself. All one hundred million, hard-earned tax payer dollars – gone.
…but it failed because he always golfed instead of managing, his staff just campaigned for customers out front instead of cooking, Occupy took over the bathrooms, Biden gaffed all the orders, and Sandra Fluke kept demanding free drinks.
but the customers kept leaving. They got freaked out when Joe relentelessly began petting their entrees, muttering, “Lassie? Is that you, girl? I think I’m stuck in a well.”
… it was a “Wings ‘n’ Things that served only left wings. It didn’t stay open too long; Republicans wouldn’t go in, and democratics didn’t want to pay.
…with the help of public roads, teachers, and the rich paying their fair share.
It served “Korean Style” hot dogs…PETA could not be reached for comment….
…but closed it immediately when he discovered he had to actually work.
…with a menu of peas, several kinds of potatos, and canned tuna fish. No tea.
…and now I can’t find Fluffy.
Well, Obama approved some shovel ready road and bridge projects three years ago that just started, but that means he opened all the new restaurants since then.
… Right before it went bankrupt.
..but he has been “dogged” by quality issues…
and it’s all you can eat. And he will tell you when you’ve eaten “all you can eat”.
…door.
(Amazing, since last time he tried to go through a window.)
featuring such signature dishes as “Creams of My Father Soup”, and “The Audacity of Arugula Salad”.
…but it closed when folks found he was awful at making change.
. . . and got a B- from Mayor Bloomberg’s restaurant ratings.
. . . John Kerry loves the waffles.
. . . Joe Biden compliments the fried chicken.
. . . The menus are displayed on teleprompters.
…now he’s just working on a name. Right now, it’s between Boston Terrier Market, Jack Russel Terrier In The Box, Beagle King or Taco Briard. Either way, it’s easy to find…just look for the Golden Retriever arches.
….and immediately was covered in hives as his allergy to work kicked in.
Now that he’s a business owner, he’s switching to Republican.
…hell, I’m going just for the sh!t on a shingle!
And in an unrelated story, the local animal shelter has seen a dramatic increase in dog adoptions, particularly with the larger, meatier breeds. Attempts by shelter personnel to follow up on these adoptions to see how they worked out, however, have been unsuccessful so far.
where you pay before you’re served, and he and the staff eat 30% of your meal before they serve it. Then they all yell, “You didn’t cook that!”
. . . and his wife won’t let him eat there.
…where the waiters get in the customers’ faces and punch back twice as hard.
…with kiddie seats that have backs decorated by a picture a Joe Biden. (They changed those from seat cushins with Harry Reid face….)
…and he’s been accusing the other restaurants of serving food that causes cancer.
…but it went bankrupt because of the rising price of arugula.
. . . but only after somebody else built it.
He even has an ad jingle playing in black and latino neighborhoods:
You can get
Anything you want
At Obama’s restaurant (for free!)
You can get
Anything you want
At Obama’s restaurant (vote for me!)
Walk right in
It’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track, and
You can get
Anything you want
At Obama’s restaurant (try the dog!)
Where all food is cooked with a hammer and sickle and is dyed red.
that government built.
♬
You can donate anything to the Obama Campaign you want, at
Alice’sObama’s Restaurant.♬
…Will work for doof
Halal available
using 100% union labor, green energy, Humane Society meat products and organic foods delivered only by Volt. Even with tax subisidies for each entree, folks couldn’t afford to dine there.
. . . and in just a few short months Gordon Ramsey was at the door with a camera crew from Kitchen Nightmares.
Wait! Can we have a show called, “Political Nightmares”?
Uh, never mind.
called The Free Lunch. The food is provided at no cost to the consumer, but the tax bill was $1,000,000,000.
called Hope ‘n Change. Serving all you can eat bullsh**. Bring your own bucket.
Larry E and Tomg51 deserves BACON! for that one!
…staffed completely by non-union women to keep the costs down.
…but nobody can afford to eat there since they don’t accept food stamps
…he suddenly began to understand what all those business people were yammering on about…and then he awoke from his nightmare.
…and quickly learned that “eat what you want, pay what you can” is a stupid way to run anything.
…but nobody was interested in being served platitudes and Communist ideology in exchange for money
…well, he calls it a “restaurant”, the rest of us call it a “soup kitchen”
He called it: Obama Oom Bow Wow.
…gives a whole new meaning to Dog Food.
If one person orders pie, everyone gets an equal slice. (http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/TWSFP/2008/04/michelle_will_steal_your_pie.asp)
then the Environmental Protection Agency, Franchise Tax Board, State Health Department, Food Service Local union, etc. closed it.
No matter what you order, you will get only what the government thinks you should have.
where everybody has to order off of a prix-fixe menu, except for those whom the owner favors with a waiver, allowing them to order whatever they like.
…expects a tip of 15
percentTrillion.♫♪
Walk right in,
Sit right down,
Doggy, let your tongue hang down.
Everybody’s talking ’bout a new way of cookin’,
Do you want to lose you mind?
Walk right in,
Sit right down,
Doggy let your tongue hang down.
♪♫♪♫
…but unfortunately (for the 99%) discovered there really is no such thing as free lunch.
Mmmmm Bacon!
but quickly changed the name to just …And Die!!!
and put up a sign that said No Shirt No Shoes No Republicans.
called The Progressive Diner. When you arrive, the bureaucrat/waitress tells you where to sit, what to order, how much to eat and how many of the other patrons you get to buy dinner for.
in his hometown in Kenya.
called How Much is that Doggie in the Window.
and went wokin’ the dog…
…Gordon Ramsey said the dish looked like dog food and Obama said “You’re close.” Then Ramsay called him a donkey and Obama replied “Yes, yes I am.”
…be careful when you order, there aren’t any mushrooms in the ‘Choom burger.’
…. with $100,000,000. of ‘stimulus’ money. He donates $10m to the “Obama for King” campaign. A year and a half later he files bankruptcy and closes the business with a nice five million dollar ‘parachute’ for himself. All one hundred million, hard-earned tax payer dollars – gone.
President Obama opened a restaurant/animal shelter.
…but it failed because he always golfed instead of managing, his staff just campaigned for customers out front instead of cooking, Occupy took over the bathrooms, Biden gaffed all the orders, and Sandra Fluke kept demanding free drinks.
but it immediately closed when he was unable to open the front door to enter the establishment.
but the customers kept leaving. They got freaked out when Joe relentelessly began petting their entrees, muttering, “Lassie? Is that you, girl? I think I’m stuck in a well.”
… it was a “Wings ‘n’ Things that served only left wings. It didn’t stay open too long; Republicans wouldn’t go in, and democratics didn’t want to pay.
offering cuisine unique to all 57 states.
but customers were put off by the fact that the only way they would accept payment was through the new Chase Platinum Race Card.
but the white folk coudn’t use the drinking fountains or restrooms, and they had to eat out back behind the kitchen.
but the menu was confusing. You had to order it before you knew what you were getting.
The waitresses wear tight fitting clothes. The place will be called “Looters”.
…and caught Michelle taking roof hits over the burger grill.
… But the Terrier Tartare isn’t moving.
Both Ellen Burstyn and Linda Lavin will be featured in advertising proudly proclaiming the slogan “Americans don’t work here anymore!”
And the stray overpopulation crisis is a thing of the past. Wait til you see what he does about the homeless.
where broccoli is the only dish and the bill is doubled if you don’t eat it.
because he just knew everyone wanted a restaurant that served all broccoli all the time.
…he found out business is a dog eat dog world.
but the menu is sealed under Executive Privilege.
in teheran
President Obama opened a restaurant… in OIHO.
President Obama opened a restaurant… But Michelle won’t let you have the pie.
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