…was that it was a reading from the Necronomicon, delivered in a mix of Klingon, Mandarin Chinese and Aramaic, and had closed captioning done in Cyrillic.
. . . was how good his imitation of Tony Romo calling signals at the line of scrimmage was (that was the convention I was seeing at the sports bar, wasn’t it?)
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was that when he started talking, the IQs of every audience member dropped 30 points and the convention center’s lights dimmed.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was that when he started talking, every member of the Committee to Re-elect Obama either braced for impact, got a migrane, or Googled the nearest bridge to jump off.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was learning that Depends, Ben-Gay, Fixodent, Preparation H, Abilify, and the DNC talking points all work so well together.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was when he mimed being stuck in a box to describe how the nation’s economy has fared under President Obama.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was seeing the understudy for the Charlotte Community Theatre production of “Bye Bye Birdy” tell him to wrap it up because play practice would be starting in five minutes.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was when he crowed about being the longest-serving senator for the state of Delaware and the state’s citizens overwhelmingly wanted him to be vice president.
…was that they mysteriously scheduled it at 7:00 in the morning, while the complimentary breakfast buffet was being served at the other end of the convention center….
…is that he thought he was auditioning for a starring role in La Cage Aux Folles, or helping some guy with a plumbing problem. Possibly he was there to pick up some dry cleaning, but dang it, Joe was just not sure.
The weirdest thing about Biden’s DNC speech was that Biden managed to keep his pants on the whole time. Sadly, they were on his head, but hey, at least it’s a start!
…it was a speech which he wrote himself, and recounted a story an elderly gentleman told him when he was a youth, about how capitalism almost caused the extinction of the truffula tree and how a lone environmentalist tried to make a difference. He ended the speech by showing the convention the last truffula tree seed that was given to him by the man and said, “Unless someone cares, the situation will not improve.”
The environmentalist lobby loved the speech, even after it was discovered the seed was just a gumball he found under the seat in the theater where he saw the Lorax with his grandchildren.
was when the people in wheelchairs actually began standing up, and Joe whispered to the fooled masses, “Who’s your messiah now? Not the mulatto.” And Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow fell to the floor in an embrace during their simultaneous full body tingles.
Is that Biden is actually capable of speech.
…was the sock puppet.
. . . was that he delivered it in Charleston. And then Charlottesville. And then finally in Charlottenburg.
…was when he French-kissed the microphone.
…was that he kept stopping to eat from his pudding cup.
…is that he gave it at the Jefferson Middle School in Hazel Green, Wisconsin last week.
…someone screwed up and left his microphone turned on.
…was how he ended each sentence with “Bazinga!”
…was how life-like he looked.
…is that Son of Bob wrote it.
…was how many references he made to “the president’s big stick.”
was that every so often he was actually coherent.
@Jimmy ~
@DamnCat: ~ all around!
…was him giving it in his Spiderman footie PJs.
… was that it was delivered from the 50 yard line of a dark, empty football stadium.
…was that it was a reading from the Necronomicon, delivered in a mix of Klingon, Mandarin Chinese and Aramaic, and had closed captioning done in Cyrillic.
. . . is he didn’t say anything stupid this time.
. . . is he thanked Michelle for her articulate speech.
. . . is no one remembers it, not even Joe Biden.
…was that he STILL plans to parachute on to the stage after the Dems moved everything indoors.
…was the faint but distinct repetion of “kill me” throughout the speech in one of the African languages that communicates with clicking
…is that the two opening sentences were honest inquiries – they were not plagiarized from Admiral Stockdale’s famous VP nomination speech.
…was that the audience, bracing for gaffes, was quiet for once.
…even though it was given in perfect Klingon, Michelle was the only one that did not applaud.
…was the constant bleeping of the DNC censors whenever he would say “God love ya”.
. . . was how good his imitation of Tony Romo calling signals at the line of scrimmage was (that was the convention I was seeing at the sports bar, wasn’t it?)
was how he kept referring to the night sky above, the fresh breeze, how quiet the 80,000 delegates were and why aren’t the lights on.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was how he kept referring to himself in third person.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was the person under the podium who kept handing him papers to read from.
..was that he delivered it to the tune of, “Yes, Sir, That’s My Baby!”
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was that the entire thing consisted of words comprised of four letters or less.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was that every time he moved, the video screen in the background flipped to a different channel.
It just wasnt that big of an effin deal.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was that when he started talking, the IQs of every audience member dropped 30 points and the convention center’s lights dimmed.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was that when he started talking, every member of the Committee to Re-elect Obama either braced for impact, got a migrane, or Googled the nearest bridge to jump off.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was him smiling the whole while Chris Matthews dry humped his leg.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was learning that Depends, Ben-Gay, Fixodent, Preparation H, Abilify, and the DNC talking points all work so well together.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…were the shadow puppets he used to illustrate President Obama’s leadership and skill at creating jobs.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was when he mimed being stuck in a box to describe how the nation’s economy has fared under President Obama.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was the shout-out to “Schwang Johnson.”
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was seeing the understudy for the Charlotte Community Theatre production of “Bye Bye Birdy” tell him to wrap it up because play practice would be starting in five minutes.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was when Chris Matthews’ dropped his liquor bottle and it rolled across the stage.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was how he tried to connect with black voters by telling “Joe Mamma” jokes.
The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…was when he crowed about being the longest-serving senator for the state of Delaware and the state’s citizens overwhelmingly wanted him to be vice president.
Manolo FTW by shear force of will!
And volume. 😉
… was how disconcerted he seemed by the fact that nobody has seen Bo for at least 3 weeks.
…was the fact that he gave it standing with his back to the audience, admiring the huge projected image of himself.
…was that they mysteriously scheduled it at 7:00 in the morning, while the complimentary breakfast buffet was being served at the other end of the convention center….
…is that he thought he was auditioning for a starring role in La Cage Aux Folles, or helping some guy with a plumbing problem. Possibly he was there to pick up some dry cleaning, but dang it, Joe was just not sure.
…was that he spoke slowly so blind people could hear him.
The weirdest thing about Biden’s DNC speech was that Biden managed to keep his pants on the whole time. Sadly, they were on his head, but hey, at least it’s a start!
…it was a speech which he wrote himself, and recounted a story an elderly gentleman told him when he was a youth, about how capitalism almost caused the extinction of the truffula tree and how a lone environmentalist tried to make a difference. He ended the speech by showing the convention the last truffula tree seed that was given to him by the man and said, “Unless someone cares, the situation will not improve.”
The environmentalist lobby loved the speech, even after it was discovered the seed was just a gumball he found under the seat in the theater where he saw the Lorax with his grandchildren.
@Jimmy: Yeah, that SOB owes me money….
…was how his eyes went glassy and Nancy Pelosi seemed to be mumbling something and not blinking the entire time Biden was speaking.
…was that it made sense if you were drunk.
…was the ventriloquist holding his face in a death grip to make sure he read exactly what was on the teleprompter and absolutely nothing else
… was the flood of e-mails Jeff Dunham got, asking him when Walter started a solo career
…was the scrolling ticker at the bottom of the screen, advertising what the other channels were showing instead
…was that they scheduled it for Friday afternoon
was that the tinfoil hat was only barely discernable under the flowing hair plugs.
was that the cyborg Biden giving the speech seemed much more real than Al Gore.
that he kept slipping into his native tongue of pig-latin.
was that when you played the speech backwards you could hear him say: Hope and Change my butt. I hope someone will change my depends soon.
was that he kept pausing to pick what seemed to be fur out of his teeth.
was the awkward tongue kiss and grope he gave Barak at the end.
was when the people in wheelchairs actually began standing up, and Joe whispered to the fooled masses, “Who’s your messiah now? Not the mulatto.” And Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow fell to the floor in an embrace during their simultaneous full body tingles.
Something about a Chevy Volt in every garage and a dachshund in every barbeque..
was Joe Biden.
#16 – Jim,
~~~~~~~~~~!
was LITERALLY everything.
… It ended in a tie. 23 marshmellows in his mouth to 23 gaffes. Attaboy there champ.
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