Archive of entries posted on 7th September 2012

A Moment With Joe Biden: Not Personal, Just Policy

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[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden.

BIDEN: …Ya know, I don’t think Mitt Romney’s a bad guy. Sure, he’s a Mormon, but who isn’t? And, I’m sure he means well. I really do. But, the problem is, there are just such stark differences in the policies of Barack Obama versus those of Mitt Romney. For example, Barack believes that every child is entitled to a quality education in a safe environment where a kid can learn and prosper. Whereas, Mitt Romney once set a homeless man on fire in Tucson. And that’s not a personal attack. It’s not a personal attack… we just disagree on that policy. It comes down to this: When Election Day comes, you are gonna have to make a choice. You have to decide if you want Barack Obama to continue working hard to make classroom sizes smaller and improve the nutritional value of school lunches for your kids, or if you want Mitt Romney to douse a vagrant with gasoline and light him on fire. Me, I think it’s clear which candidate’s vision is better for America’s future: my boss, Barack Obama…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

We Can’t Rely on the Sun

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It’s your quote of the day from How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome. This one is from “Chapter Three: Foreign Relations”:

Another way to energy independence is through finding things other than oil to use for power. Like the sun. That’s stupid. Instead of relying on a power source we have right here on Earth — oil — we’re going to count on one that’s not even on our planet and over which we have no control? One day, the sun could just burn out, and then what would happen to us? We’d be out of electricity. That’s too risky.

Tell me your favorite quotes from How to Fix Everything in America Forever in the comments.

Go Team!

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Thanks to your support, if you go to political humor on Amazon, I currently hold the number one spot for both paid and free books on Kindle. I’d love more feedback, though, so if you’ve finished How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome, please write a review for Amazon.

And if for some reason you haven’t seen it yet, here’s my interview with Glenn Reynolds:

Why does everyone make fun of my eyebrows?