[High Praise! to Seanmahair]

So now it’s time to ask, who is really in charge at Defense? Have the joint chiefs been effectively neutered? Have we entered the Looking Glass only to find the Jabberwocky is actually in charge and bent on destroying all we love and hold dear. Who will come to our aid and pick up the “vorpal” sword? The cast of characters is stark:

Mad Hatter – Joe Biden

White Rabbit – Harry Reid

Red Queen – Michele Obama (and from the Disney version her small, insignificant husband, Barack)

Cheshire Cat – Bill Clinton

Walrus and the Carpenter – Barney Frank and Chris Dodd

Caterpillar – little Georgie Soros

and the star of our show the Jabberwock – the bloated leviathan of the federal government.

A French newspaper has published some cartoons and now basically the whole Middle East is in lock down over that because it’s a very serious place filled with serious people. And while the French government has advised against publishing the cartoons, it has emphasized the paper’s right to do so, so that’s one the French government has over ours right now.

If we were serious about freedom of speech, every time there was violence in the Middle East over speech, we would do pretty much nothing but publish stuff insulting to Islam. Thus we’d send the message, if you want us to respect Islam, don’t be violent. Instead, most people seem to want to send the opposite message.

Of course, I solve the Middle East problem in my new book. If we could only rid them of that cursed oil, I bet they’d have peace. Or we’d care less if they didn’t.

I assume you’ve seen the Obama flag Obama has been printing on shirts and stuff:

So of course I was wondering, “How does the pledge to the Obama flag go?”

My best guess is you put your left hand over your heart and say this:

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of Barack Hussein Obama, and to the change for which it stands, one Nation under debt, extremely whiny, with redistribution and free birth control for all.

While talking with Univision, Obama said, “The most important lesson I’ve learned is you can’t change Washington from the inside.” So the most important lesson he learned is that is whole “Change!” slogan was naive malarkey? I guess that’s something worth learning.

Anyway, I don’t want to take him out of context, so here’s the transcript of the entire exchange:

The most important lesson I’ve learned is you can’t change Washington from the inside. I mean, I’ve tried to do stuff, but it’s like super hard and really tiring and people yell at me and I’m like, “Oh man; I don’t know what I’m doing.” Like I tried to make jobs — sort of — but I don’t really get how you do that from government. Like, I suggested maybe we hire another janitor at the White House, but that’s only like one job. I guess to make lots of jobs, you need to like make a business, but that involves numbers and stuff and I hate those. So, it’s like I can’t do anything as president but play golf — which I really like because it’s quiet out there and people don’t yell at me. I think I’m just going to play golf in my next term and stop trying to do stuff, because stuff is hard.

Now don’t misunderstand me; I don’t want this to be like when people didn’t understand my “you didn’t build that” statement. What I was trying to say there is that you can’t build things and if you said so you’re a liar. What builds things is a giant with a fish head that has magical iron hands. You understand? You don’t look like you understand. Sorry, I’ve been hitting the choom a bit lately and I might be a bit confused. I think I need to lay down.

[Obama gets down from chair and lies on ground]

Presidenting is hard. It’s makes me sleepy. And hungry. Can someone make a burrito run? You’re like all Latino; someone has to know where to get a good burrito. Taco Bell is fine, though. I’m so tired, though. I’m going to take a nap. Can someone tell me how smart I am? It helps me go to sleep.

Man, he needs to stick to a teleprompter.