Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
finding ones that they liked.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
redefining disappointing.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
including certain soon to be in all senses new Americans.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
… lying.
…burying them under mountains of document dumps, key personnel firings and belated scandal updates.
…a ‘liberal’ application of Common Core Math.
…revealing that “disappointing enrollment numbers” are not a bug, they’re a feature.
… adjusting the US population from 300 million to 300 thousand.
…by invoking Hilary Clinton’s, “What difference, at this point, does it make?!”
… deeming their goals passed.
… dividing the total by .10, to adjust for the racism of anyone who questions why.
..reverting to the time-honored tradition used in various urban communities of using the only math they’re extremely fluent in : Multiplication.
…unleashing enough incendiary rhetoric to burn them from the public’s consciousness…
…letting Louis Farrakhan do the counting.
…utilizing a technique from common core that no mathematician, engineer or scientist can understand.
… employing a farce multiplier.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
declaring numbers are just racist constructs that support the Patriarchy! And how d’you get that? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our society! If there’s EVER going to be any progress …
… grading on a curve. The Laugher Curve.
(*claps for the Reverend Walrussharpton*)
… by banning any further tallying of numbers in this matter.
As is well known, President Obama is, and always has been, a big supporter of the tally-ban.
…Gruberfiction.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
…using fuzzy math over and over until 2 plus 2 actually does equal 5.
…counting every successful enrollee as two.
…also counting dead voters
…threaten the people that counted with an IRS audit
… noting that Obama signed up, and that his name is Legion.
… inventing a new term, “ACAuracy.”
@18 DamnCat: In my haste, I read that as “Gruberfication” and I was about to say, “You need to show your work!” (as a mathematical technique). But I see it’s more a Common Core literary concept.
. . . entrusting them to the Cook County Registrar of Voters
…executive order, natch!
. . . by recycling the old joke “There are only 10 kinds of doctors, those who understand binary and those who don’t.”
…taking the non-enrollees to the SPCA.
…adding more yeast to the numbers mix and making Michelle clomp around in a far off vacation spot.
…counting all of Obama’s multiple personalities.
…counting future signups and invoking the philosophy of George Allen, declaring that the future is now.
signing everyone up again
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
… including the five million illegal aliens covered by Obamnesty.
… lying shamelessly to our faces (aka, business as usual).
… taking executive action through the Dept of Education to nullify the basic laws of arithmetic.
… entrusting the tally to Charlie Rangel’s tax lawyer.
… dividing by zero just to see our heads explode.
… replacing the actual number with how many will not be able to keep their health plan.
… distracting everyone with a seven trillion dollar cookie stimulus plan.
@16: more like the Bullsh!t Curve.
The White House “fixed” the disappointing Obamacare signup numbers by…
… an application of the “Schrödinger’s cat” paradox whereby all Americans are signed up for ObamaCare until actually seen not doing so.
… using a fudge factor directly proportional to the relative width of Moochel’s backside.
… letting Joe Biden throw dice to pick the numbers but telling him it’s a game of Yahtzee!