It has happened! The greatest book ever, Punch Your Inner Hippie, is out! You can download it now in ebook form or get it at a bookstore (and if a bookstore doesn’t have it, raise hell — make everyone there regret they ever sold book).

And this the ultimate book. The one book that tells you how to defeat the root cause of failure by beating to a pulp the hippie inside you. When you follow my advice, you will be unstoppable — like a speeding train without brakes.

And what good timing for it to come out on Veterans Day. Because veterans put their lives on the line for your freedom. Similarly, I wrote a book hoping to get money. Those are both actions. That’s a way they are the same.

So buy a copy. And then another as backup. And pester your friends to buy one. And if you like it, write a review online. If you didn’t like it, find a ditch to die in.

And if you won’t do it for me or for yourself, do it for my kids. They’re very poor. I mean, I live comfortably, but they don’t seem very good at earning money. Look at this photo from October 31st when they didn’t even have proper clothes to wear.

Plus, I just moved, and the proper housewarming gift is to buy that person’s book.

So, this is it. This is when we turn this country around by following my advice and beating the hippies inside us. Are you excited? You should be excited.

BUY MY BOOK!

To those who served: Thank you.

To those currently serving: Thank you.

To the civilians circa 1985-1991: You’re welcome.

My suggestions for the best way to thank the troops?

1) Enjoy life in a free country. A gift ain’t a gift unless it’s enjoyed. Do something fun.

2) Be the kind of American who’s worth fighting for.

NOTE TO VETS: Here are some deals & freebies for you that evil corporate America wishes to use to oppress you and express their gratitude.

And here’s a longer, more complete list.