It has happened! The greatest book ever, Punch Your Inner Hippie, is out! You can download it now in ebook form or get it at a bookstore (and if a bookstore doesn’t have it, raise hell — make everyone there regret they ever sold book).
And this the ultimate book. The one book that tells you how to defeat the root cause of failure by beating to a pulp the hippie inside you. When you follow my advice, you will be unstoppable — like a speeding train without brakes.
And what good timing for it to come out on Veterans Day. Because veterans put their lives on the line for your freedom. Similarly, I wrote a book hoping to get money. Those are both actions. That’s a way they are the same.
So buy a copy. And then another as backup. And pester your friends to buy one. And if you like it, write a review online. If you didn’t like it, find a ditch to die in.
And if you won’t do it for me or for yourself, do it for my kids. They’re very poor. I mean, I live comfortably, but they don’t seem very good at earning money. Look at this photo from October 31st when they didn’t even have proper clothes to wear.
Plus, I just moved, and the proper housewarming gift is to buy that person’s book.
So, this is it. This is when we turn this country around by following my advice and beating the hippies inside us. Are you excited? You should be excited.
Your son appears ready to punch someone’s inner hippie. Either that or his thumbs-up signals approval or your new book. Hilarious!
Are you offering autographed copies?
Frank, to heck with your book. You need to inform us when you can flush your toilet. We’re worried.
They are pretty cute for hobos.
Tee shirts, ebooks, heck one time I just gave you a dollar for the asking! When will it ever stop? Ok Ok I’ll buy one for the the kids sakes.
I pre-ordered it months ago.
I’ll be waiting by my mailbox in eager anticipation!
“And if you fail to beat your inner hippie, I will whack it with my wand!” “And I will burn it with my fiery dragon breath!”
Preordered my dad a copy. Getting the electronic version for me. Reading is so hard though. Is there going to be an audio version? Something about reading books myself makes me feel poor.
When you post a picture that cute, I pretty much have to go buy your book.
I haven’t bought your previous ebooks because I’m a luddite snob who only pays money for physical things. (All my digital media has been acquired at a cost of zero dollars because I could, and why would I pay for someone telling me a bunch of 1’s and 0’s?) But my local bookstore has the dead tree version of your book in stock, so I’m planning to pick it up tonight.
Ernie,
Cool. I actually have been too busy to go see it on the shelf in a bookstore yet, so take a picture if you can.