Note: I’m not sure if this will be my last post here or not, but I wanted to make sure to get this posted. Since tomorrow is a day more appropriate for quiet reflection than for silliness, I decided to put it up today…
Being a well-mannered guest, I thought it would be appropriate to give Frank J. a little gift as a token of appreciation for letting me blog here while he was off bagging the limit on hippies. But what to give the blogger who has everything?
Well, Frank, hold on to your butt…
Meet Fred!
Fred is a genetically engineered weaponized cyborg-dinosaur with a combination rocket launcher/nuclear-powered laser cannon mounted on his back, just like you always wanted!
Just remember, Frank, “All dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them want is love.” Oh, and hippies. Feed him hippies. Lots and lots of hippies! Just put up some signs around his pasture like “Free hemp! All you can carry!” and he’ll take care of the rest. His hunting instinct is keyed to the smell of Patchouli oil, so you and your friends should be safe, so long as none of you wave any commie flags or wear Che t-shirts near him. Oh… and for Heaven’s sake, whatever you do, never utter the phrase “Allahu akbar!”
Now, I know what you’re saying. “Sure, he looks cool, but does he really work?”
Well, I think a little demonstration may be in order…
So, be honest now, what do you think? Did we do good?
Best of all, our team of geneticists is currently putting the finishing touches on the female version of what we like to call the Awesom-o-saurus Wrexx! After “Sarah” has been hatched and raised to a proper age, we hope to breed her with “Fred” to create a new race of super weapons that will guarantee nobody ever again “squeetlebumkins” with the USA!
Enjoy, Frank! Take good care of him and remember to only point him at things you don’t want to see continuing to exist for more than a few seconds.
And thanks again for having me over, it’s been a blast!
And thanks also to Basil and Harvey for all their help this past week, and to all the readers here at IMAO. You guys rock!
Bye-bye, kids! Be sure to pop by and visit me at America is an Obamanation! and The Right Place once in a while.
What??? There’s a limit on hippies now? They’re pretty over populated, why limit this…
Not bad. However, I would mount two mini-guns on his shoulders for a close-in weapon system.
(Thanks for the fun, Mr. Right. 😉 )
You know…I don’t care how you cut it…when I see a pair of big fat lips stuck to FrankJ’s butt I immediately do the math in my big ole’ fat conservative brain and I think to myself…hey…that guy is a butt kisser!!!
Butt-kisser???
Everyone at this blog always talks about nuking the moon but I’m the only one that has ever actually gone out and done something about it!
I do and do and do for you kids, and THIS is the thanks I get???
All hail Fred the moon nuking Dinosaur! FrankJ will be pleased indeed. As for you Mr. Right you are a good guest blogger hopefully FrankJ will have you back to fill in for him again.
I apologize for my rude outburst and would like to take this opportunity to say that I have made all commenter’s here on Frank J’s blog look bad! Even though I still maintain that Mr. Right is truly a “butt kisser” of the highest magnitudenessness….I should keep my opinions to myself and shut my pie-hole! I shall, in the future, endeavor to utilize all the forbearance and shutuppance available to me to follow the example preached by Our Dear Leader (Barry) May He Live Forever!!!
[Mr. Right says: “Sick ‘im, Fred!”]
Never one to be a ‘blocker’ but if Fred and Sarah are genetically engineered, why not just engineer some more? Again, I am not a shot blocker and Fred should be able to get all he wants when he wants, especially with such an important job of “Humanly Insignificant Predisposed Population Incineration Engineer.”
Do Magic Mushrooms grow in his pasture after a good rain? Former 70’s/80’s era liberal hippies want to know (Not that I was one).
Here’s how to get Fred all the hippies he wants:
First, threaten Fred’s natural habitat. It can be something real like bulldozers or something made up like global warming.
Then, PETA and Earth First should move in to protect Fred from the evil conservatives trying to destroy all that is natural in this world. We should encourage this behavior by shouting, “I have a RIGHT to my SUV, who cares about Fred?” at the top of our lungs. (ESPECIALLY if we don’t own an SUV.)
Finally, Fred gets a free lunch.
Repeat as often as necessary. A good leftist is able to keep actions independent of consequences, so they will never realize what is happening until they are all gone.
Mr. Right, you are a true friend!
Mr Right –
In regards to your post #4 above, as anyone who actually watches that video and listens to the music can plainly see, that’s no moon – it’s a space station.
Brutus,
Do you have any idea how expensive it is to genetically engineer an entire army of these things?
I’m a conservative for gosh sakes! Why spend money doing something the dinosaurs can do for us all by themselves?
Now, if I were a Democrat (pretending that these things were somehow not quite useful lethal weapons, but were instead cute, fluffy and utterly useless), then I would of course form a blue ribbon panel to appoint a committee to commission a study about how to best breed them, and we would all hire our cousins and the nieces and nephews of our biggest political contributors and create oodles of new union-staffed bureaucracies and steal piles of money from the taxpayers to accomplish nothing while the program withered and died as an absolute failure.
We would, however, keep pumping more and more and more money into it every year even after it failed and if anyone threatened to even so much as slow the rate of the increase of spending on it each year, we would scream and holler about “Draconian cuts” and cry about how they didn’t care about the environment and women and children and minorities and the elderly and the poor until the media showed countless sob stories about how the world would come to an end if such cuts were enacted and we would just keep spending and spending and spending and spending…
But I’m not a Democrat, so…
I’m just creating 2 of ’em and setting them up on a date. See how much smarter conservatives are?
Mr. Right, Fred’s dogtag chain looks a little pearly. Please explain.
I always envisioned the dinosaur would be bigger…and not made of plush material. I’m just sayin’.
Not Everyone talks about nuking the moon. Only those of us that want to scare the crap out of people that we want to actually nuke (but are not allowed to because we have to follow “rules”). Like the letter that guy wrote once upon a time. Everyone would maybe take us seriously then…I like the Dino Idea 🙂 Bye Bye Man in the Moon
I’ve always found Tuesdays to be the most appropriate for silliness, but anyway, well done. I’ll never buy any other brand of tomato juice thanks to you.
Any pics of ‘Sarah’? No, it’s not a fetish, just curious. Although, it does seem to have that, oh, I don’t know, ‘je ne sais quoi’ being on line and all.
Sa-Lute!
We just found a TANSTAAFL loophole. I like it… 8)
You damn kid!
My car was parked there!
Good one, but you’re not the first to try.
Laurence Simon once tried to build a moon-nuker in some SIM sort of deal. I don’t know what happened with it.
Now I have to find out.
You’re psychic!
Before I even got to the video I was thinking to myself, “Awesome! But now Fred needs a similarly armed mate named Sarah.”
Good job filling in, Right!
Awesome video but I don’t think that was real. I saw the first moon landing, which everybody knows never happened, and it looked more real to me than this video.
Join the Crusade to put Hippies on the Endangered Species List!!!!
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