This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to do a little digging into where all those Yankees in King Arthur’s Court keep coming from as we visit Connecticut, so let’s get started…

• Connecticut is a small state in the northeastern U.S. and is best known for being the place that beer cans land after New Yorkers throw them out of their car windows.
• The highest point in Connecticut is Mt. Frissel, at 2,380 feet, which is where Connecticut residents go to throw the empty beer cans back into New York.
• Connecticut has only 2 interstate highways, neither of which gets you out of the state fast enough.
• Connecticut is an Algonquin Indian word meaning “yuppie scum.”
• Although Connecticut borders Massachusetts, no Kennedys live there because Connecticut liquor stores all close at 8pm.
• Many areas of Connecticut are plagued by foraging herds of white tail deer that destroy crops and gardens. The only way for residents to keep the deer at bay is pay “protection money” to Don Bambi, head of the deer mafia.
• The New England Patriots football team almost moved to Hartford, Connecticut, but declined to do so because the deal included renaming the team to the Hartford Homos.
• The fuchsia & chartreuse uniforms WERE tempting, though.
• The official insect of Connecticut is the Praying Mantis – an obvious violation of the separation of church and state.
• Connecticut is populated mainly by people who couldn’t decide whether they wanted to live further away from Boston or New York City.
• Connecticut is called the “nutmeg state” because the early Connecticut colonists would sell fake nutmegs to unsuspecting tourists. This is somewhat analogous to referring to the Kennedys as the “designated driver family.”
• The state motto of Connecticut is “As close to New York as New Jersey is, but with less toxic waste.”
• In terms of distance, Connecticut is the closest state in the US to France, which is why most people in Connecticut face east when they spit.
• George W. Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut on July 6, 1946, but moved to Texas as a teenager to pursue his dream of stealing oil.
• Although Connecticut ranks 48th among the states in terms of size, it ranks a close second behind Massachusetts in terms of snooty, upper-class arrogance.
• Connecticut become the 5th state on January 9th, 1788. It would’ve joined sooner, but everyone was out skiing in Vermont.
• Despite the state’s small size, it DOES have a state college – the University of Connecticut or UCONN – which should NOT be confused with the popular rat poison.
• The state flag of Connecticut consists of a blue background, a white shield, 3 grapevines, and a Latin motto meaning “He who transplanted sustains us.” Officially, it refers to early colonists coming in from Boston, but that doesn’t explain the large number of tourists who wake up in a tub of ice, missing a kidney.
• The official state song of Connecticut is Yankee Doodle, which was originally written in 1750 to honor the official state pasta.
• Being a small state, Connecticut has only one radio station, which plays nothing but different versions of Yankee Doodle 24 hours a day. The most popular being Snoop Dogg’s “Yo Yo Yizzle Dizzle.”
• The world’s first nuclear submarine, the USS Nautilus, was built in Groton, Connecticut in 1954, after which it turned on its creators and went on a fearsome, building-destroying rampage through the city.
• The practice of branding farm animals began in Connecticut, where farmers were required by law to mark their pigs, which is why Michael Moore will never visit the state.
• The Hartford Courant, established in 1764, is America’s oldest newspaper. A glance through some of the earliest editions shows that, even back then, Doonesbury wasn’t funny.
• Seriously, when is Trudeau gonna stop recycling that “Thomas Paine lied, people died” line?
• The Polaroid camera was invented in Connecticut in 1934. Blackmailing people with compromising photographs was invented about 60 seconds later.
• The first English settlers arrived in Hartford in 1636 and were tricked into staying in the area by settlers from Boston who promised them that the Patriots would move there “any day now.”

That wraps up the Connecticut edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll discover that crossing the river wearing a tri-cornered hat actually had nothing to do with the state as we look at Delaware.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go step on a Praying Mantis to protect my freedom of religion.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to realize too late that the fuzzy thing you’re eating isn’t a peach, it’s just been in the fridge too long as we visit Georgia, so let’s get started…

• Georgia became the 4th state on January 2nd, 1788, and its citizens commemorate this day each year by shooting British people with muskets.
• Contrary to popular myth, not everyone who lives in Georgia is a redneck. There’s plenty of toothless, moonshine-swilling hillbillies, too.
• Coca-Cola was invented in Columbus, Georgia, in 1885, and first sold to the public in Atlanta in 1886. The original formula has changed since then, and the drink no longer contains actual cocaine or the blood of virgins.
• “Georgia” is a Cherokee Indian word meaning, “Are those rednecks or hillbillies?”
• Despite the way natives pronounce the state’s name, “Jawjah” is NOT spelled with a “W.”
• Unlike the word “dawg.”
• Since it almost never snows in Georgia, children there spend winters having cotton ball fights.
• While having a cotton ball fight, it’s considered cheating to stuff a peach pit in the cotton.
• In Georgia, everything is made out of cotton. Except the peaches, which are made out of okra.
• Atlanta, Georgia, has the worst traffic of any city in the U.S., since every street in the city is named “Peachtree Road.”
• The last time it snowed in Georgia, the confused natives thought it was ash from the Yankees burning Atlanta again.
• The state motto of Georgia is “Wisdom, Justice, Moderation,” which replaced the old motto of “Whiskey, Hookers, NASCAR.”
• In Georgia, every soft drink is referred to as “Coke.” Except for Pepsi, which is referred to as “Damn Yankee Poison.”
• After Jimmy Carter left the presidency in 1981, he returned to his home town of Plains, Georgia, and went on a bloody shooting rampage.
• Wait… I meant to type “worked for Habitat for Humanity.” Stupid autocorrect.
• The only way to get to Florida from Georgia is by sea, since the Georgia-Florida border is heavily defended by landmines and alligators.
• The Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Georgia, celebrates the careers of all the talented musicians who were born in Georgia, and is currently empty.
• They WERE going to put in a Ray Charles exhibit, but they figured there was no point, since he wouldn’t see it anyway.
• Saint Marys, Georgia, is the second-oldest city in the US, and will soon be moving to Florida to retire.
• If it can make it past the landmines and alligators, that is.
• The state fish of Georgia is the largemouth bass, which shouldn’t be confused with the much more common loudmouth drunk.
• The name of Georgia’s largest swamp, the Okefenokee, comes from a Shawnee Indian word meaning “I’d rather live in a swamp than eat okra.”
• Georgia was originally populated by settlers from England and drunk people from Alabama who couldn’t find their way home.
• The Governor’s mansion in Georgia is the only quadruple-wide trailer in America.
• Some people are offended by the fact that three Confederate leaders are carved into the side of Georgia’s Stone Mountain. Other people figure it’s ok, since the back ends of the horses point north.
• In Georgia, it’s considered ungentlemanly to stare at a woman’s breasts while talking to her.
• Unless she’s REALLY hot.
• In the year 2227, Dr. Leonard McCoy will be born in Atlanta, Georgia and will go on to become Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise. If you already knew this, then you’re a pathetic nerd who will never kiss a girl.
• The most common cause of death in Georgia is getting murdered in a fight over the proper way to pronounce the word “pecan.”
• Georgia is the state most likely to be invaded by Jane Fonda and have its peanut oil stolen to power her tour bus.
• The official state prepared food of Georgia is grits, which consists of coarsely ground bits of corn and shouldn’t be confused with hog slop, which is made from coarsely ground bits of corn.
• Although Georgia is already America’s #1 grower of peanuts, farmers there are working to develop a “super-peanut” which will be twice as large and shoot laser beams out of its eyes.
• They hope to use it to stop Jane Fonda.

That wraps up the Georgia edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be slipping into a grass skirt for our trip to Hawaii.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go murder someone who said “PEE-can”

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to thrill to the intoxicating aroma of inadequately-maintained industrial landfills as we visit New Jersey. So let’s get started…

• New Jersey became the 3rd state on December 18, 1787 after cutting off the head of Old Jersey and shouting “There can be only ONE!”
• The state song of New Jersey is “I’m From New Jersey,” the only state song which is perfectly adaptable to any state or city with a 3-syllable name. Think of it as “witness protection program friendly.”
• At over 1,000 people per square mile, New Jersey has a population density 13 times the U.S. average, the subject of numerous protests by KFCeTP (Kentucky Fried Chickens for the Ethical Treatment of People).
• Newark, New Jersey is the car-theft capital of the world, although the Newark Chamber of Commerce prefers to refer to it as “pre-emptive recycling.”
• Cape May, New Jersey, is the oldest seaside resort in the US and brags that it has “the best fed sharks north of Amity.”
• The state flower of New Jersey is the violet. And before you ask: no, I didn’t accidentally leave out the “n.”
• The state’s name, however, WAS originally a typographical error, when an inattentive clerk mistakenly typed an “s” instead of a “k” on the colony’s application for statehood.
• One exceptionally capitalistic area of New Jersey contains 7 shopping malls in a 25 square mile area and frequently exceeds the EPA limits on perfume particulates.
• New Jersey is America’s second largest producer of industrial chemicals. First, if you include the stuff that’s burning on the rivers.
• Thomas Edison invented the light bulb in his Menlo Park, New Jersey, laboratory, which soon replaced kerosene, whale oil, and natural gas lamps as the “good idea” symbol.
• The first Miss America pageant took place in Atlantic City, New Jersey, in 1921, helping to end the dark chapter in American history where beautiful, large-breasted women were routinely shunned and ignored.
• The streets in the game Monopoly are all named for actual streets in Atlantic City, New Jersey, which are frequently clogged with shoes and top hats.
• New Jersey’s Fort Dix was named for Major General John Adams Dix, and NOT for the fact that it was the last all-male Army base in the U.S.
• Atlantic City, New Jersey has the longest boardwalk in the world. Enough trees were used in its construction to make 10,000 hippies weep in anguish.
• The first Indian reservation in the U.S. was created in New Jersey, which – surprisingly – did NOT trigger a case involving the 8th Amendment’s “cruel and unusual punishment” clause.
• Union, New Jersey is home to the world’s tallest water tower. At 212 feet tall, it contains enough water to completely clean out three of Michael Moore’s belly-folds.
• New Jersey is the only state in the nation that offers child abuse prevention workshops in every public school. Although you’d think that if they REALLY cared about the kids, they’d just move them out of the state.
• The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, New Jersey, one of the few times in the state’s history where the use of a baseball bat wasn’t immediately followed by a homicide investigation.
• The first drive-in movie theater was opened Camden, New Jersey, in 1933, less than one year before Camden set the record for “most illegitimate births.”
• Tourism is New Jersey’s second-largest industry, just behind discreet body-disposal.
• The knobbed whelk is the state seashell, not a nickname for New York tourists.
• The first dinosaur skeleton found in the U.S. was discovered in Haddonfield, New Jersey. Paleontologists theorize that the cause of its death was incorrectly answering the question “What do you mean funny, funny how?”
• Dioxin is New Jersey’s state toxic waste
• Good luck guessing whether that one’s true or not.
• Comedians Bud Abbot and Lou Costello were both born in New Jersey. Their famous comedy routine “Who Do Youse Want Me to Whack First” was later re-written slightly to appeal to a broader audience.
• Singer Whitney Houston was born in Newark, New Jersey, where she first discovered her amazing talent for making dogs howl across three counties.
• Singer Bruce Springsteen was born in Freehold, New Jersey. The city’s residents are the only people who know what he’s actually singing in “Blinded By The Light.”
• “Washing with a loofah in the corner to the right”? “Dressed up in a tutu like the mother of my wife”? What the HELL is he singing?
• “The Chairman of the Board” Frank Sinatra was born in Hoboken, New Jersey. He… I’ve just been handed a note… apparently if I value my kneecaps, I should be keepin’ by yap shut about Mr. Sinatra.
• Never mind.
• In New Jersey, “Wawa” refers to a particular chain of convenience stores, NOT to the last sound the guy in your trunk makes before you throw him in the dumpster behind the convenience store.
• The reason people always ask folks from New Jersey “What exit?” is that it’s the only phrase that can’t be mistaken for a criticism of Mr. Sinatra.

That wraps up the New Jersey edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be nervously drumming our fingers on the dashboard while awaiting the arrival of our drug mule near the southern border of New Mexico.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go discuss loan repayment terms with a couple burly gentlemen behind the Wawa.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]