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PREVIOUS (PART 9)

Lulu opened the door and marched into the room. The others followed with Bryce taking up the rear. The room, lit by a single light bulb, was empty except for a table upon which sat a cylindrical device. When they approached it, out popped what resembled an eye. “I assume you are here for the job?” asked a highly synthesized voice.
Lulu folded her arms and stood up straight. “That we are, little robot thing.”
The eye seemed to scan the four of them. It creeped Doug out, as he always had a fear of robots. “I will require you to infiltrate a military research base in the land of Asmod and retrieve some data. The information on the facility is ready for your download.”
“Bryce, handle that,” Lulu sharply commanded.
Bryce took a handheld computer and connected a cable to the robot. After a couple of seconds, Bryce disconnected the cable and checked the screen. “The information is here. I also sent you our bank account information.”
“The initial ten percent has been transferred,” the robot replied. “Since we are done, I will self-destruct.”
“Then I guess we’ll be going.” Lulu smiled and then quickly led everyone out of the room.
Charlene shut the door behind them and looked at Bryce. “Ten percent?”
Bryce put his computer away. “For starting costs. The rest–” An explosion in the other room interrupted Bryce. “The rest we get upon completion.”
Charlene looked furious. “The rest of what?”
Bryce turned to Lulu. “You know how you said you wished you’d get mall certificates for all the battles you fight? Well, that’s sort of the arrangement we have… but instead of mall gift certificates, it’s untraceable cash deposits.”
Lulu eyes widened. “Which can even be used for a day at the spa!”
The next thing out of Lulu’s mouth was a yelp as Charlene yanked one of her pigtails. “He’s making us mercenaries, you twit!”
“Mercenary” seemed to be a pretty cool title to Doug, but he couldn’t help but be concerned about anything that was one of Bryce’s ideas. “Is this legal, or are we going to get executed for this?”
Bryce thought for a moment. “Those are really two different questions, Doug. The illegal things that people get executed for are things like speaking out against the government – subversive things. Being a murderous thug, on the other hand, rarely catches the eye of the government, because it’s of no threat to their hierarchy. Actually, all the governments, realizing that there will always be a certain criminal element to society, have put some regulations on it. So, to answer Doug’s question, we will be criminals, but I’ve done enough research to make sure our criminal activities follow the letter of the law so we don’t get in trouble.”
Doug, as usual, was confused, but so apparently were Charlene and Lulu. Charlene stopped trying to parse Bryce’s words to shout, “I’m not a mercenary! I fight for the honor of our divine Empress.”
Bryce rolled his eyes. “Yes, like the battle today where they tried to kill you off to fill a quota. Guess who is hiring us, by the way? Empress Proserpine’s own government… I think.” Charlene continued to scowl at him. “Anyway, because of treaties, the government needs to unofficially hire mercenaries to get the real work done. If you want to fight important battles with a meaningful purpose – money – then this is what you need to be doing to best serve Empress what’s-her-face.”
“I think this is a neat idea,” Lulu said, “especially if we won’t get executed for it. I think you’ll actually like this, Charlene, but if you want to be a part of my mercenary group, you have to be less bitchy.”
Charlene calmed a bit, but she still eyed Bryce suspiciously. “So why did you really put her in charge?”
Bryce hesitated to reply for a moment. “If you look at statistics, the most underrepresented group among criminals are Asian females, so having her in charge will give us a big advantage in getting contracts in the future.”
Charlene laughed. “So she’s just filling quotas.”
Lulu looked indignant. “I’m very good at filling quotas.”
“A diverse makeup really is important in getting government contracts,” Bryce explained, “and we have a good group here: half women and half minorities.” He pointed to Doug. “I’m not really sure what Doug is, but it looks like he’s something.”
“I really like nachos, so I think I might be Hispanic.” Doug started to notice the weight of the bags he was still carrying. “Are we going to go somewhere soon so I can set these down?”
“Sure, let’s get something to eat now so we can discuss this.” Bryce led them toward the exit.
“So, what will the Asmods do if they find out we’re stealing something from them?” Lulu asked.
“They’ll kill us, of course,” Charlene said.
“But the whole reason I want out of the military is I don’t want to be killed!”
Bryce opened the building’s front door for the ladies. “Don’t worry, tri-Lu; now we control the risks on these operations. We’re not just going to charge in shooting; instead, we’ll have a smart plan to get in and out with no one the wiser. Plus, we have that ten percent to help finance our plan. This will hardly be risky at all, I assure you.”
This actually seemed like a great idea to Doug. He figured he’d probably still just be carrying things for this plan, but he’d be carrying things on behalf of a secret mission!
“So how much is this ten percent?” Charlene asked as they headed down the street.
“It’s… well…”
Charlene scowled. “On second thought, I’d rather see the actual account than take your word for it.”
“Suddenly she’s concerned about the money.” Bryce chuckled until a number of bullets struck the wall next to him, just missing his head. “Oh, hell.”
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(NOTE: Frank J.’s hastily hacked together stories are in no way supported or condoned by Baen)

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Doug looked at the sign marking the corner of Geist and Minton and then at the surroundings. It was night, and the area had few streetlights. What the lights did reveal – abandoned broken buildings and some shady characters loitering about – was not too assuring. “So is this like the worst part of town?”
Bryce adjusted his tie. “Pretty much.”
A bus stopped at the corner and out walked Lulu carrying a couple shopping bags, followed by Charlene who had her arms folded and a somber expression. “I bought some really cute things,” Lulu announced to Bryce and Doug cheerfully. “Nothing helps me get over death and dismemberment better than some good shopping. Charlene was a drag, though. Kept saying nothing looked good and didn’t even try anything on.”
Bryce nodded. “She was probably upset by today’s events, but, not wanting to consciously admit that, she’s now acting in a passive-aggressive manner.”
Charlene pointed a threatening finger at Bryce. “My aggression is never passive!” As the bus drove away, Charlene looked at her surroundings. “Where the hell are we?”
Lulu appeared scared by the locale. “I thought you guys were taking us to a restaurant, but I don’t see any restaurants here… and even if there were one, I don’t think I’d want to eat at it.”
“The dinner comes a little later,” Bryce said. “First, we have business to attend to.”
Lulu kept looking about cautiously. “Is the business that plan where you said I get to be in charge?”
Charlene marched up into Bryce’s face. “What plan?” She turned to Doug with burning eyes. “What did you get me into?”
Doug couldn’t help but shiver slightly. “I really thought we were just going to dinner! Honest!”
“I guess it’s time I tell the truth,” Bryce said. Doug immediately paid attention, as that phrase always preceded Bryce’s most elaborate and entertaining lies. “I’ve been tasked to assemble a team for an important secret mission. After seeing you two perform in battle, I’ve chosen you two ladies to be a part of this, Charlene Murphy and Lulu… um…”
“Liu.”
Bryce grimaced. “Your name is Lululu?”
Lulu glared at him. “No. It’s Lulu Liu. You better get that straight if I’m going to be in charge.”
Charlene laughed. “I don’t buy this for a second, and even if I did, you’re really putting Lulu in charge?”
Bryce kept a very serious expression. “While you’re quite skilled in combat, Ms. Murphy, Lulu has special leadership qualities.”
“I don’t just yell at everyone,” Lulu told Charlene, “and my solution to everything isn’t to execute someone by gunshot to the head as an example to others. That’s not how you make friends.”
“Leadership in war is not about making friends.” Charlene looked at the ominous buildings around her. “So why would we meet here?”
Bryce shrugged. “Why not here?”
A man in filthy clothes walked up to the four. He smiled with rotten teeth and then produced a knife. “Why don’t you hand over everything of value you have before I gut you all!”
Bryce pulled out his gun at pointed it at the thug. “Rock beats scissors. Now scram!”
The thug ran off. Charlene stared at Bryce and his gun. “Where did you get that? We’re not supposed to have weaponry when in civilian capacity!”
“I hit a goon with a pipe and we got some guns,” Doug said proudly.
“Did you kill him?” Lulu asked.
Doug hadn’t even considered that possibility and thus became quite worried. “I dunno!”
Charlene let out something between a yell and a growl. “What did I get myself into? Who even are you two?”
Bryce put away his gun and smiled. “I’m Bryce Worthington, an entrepreneur of sorts. My associate here is… well… Doug.”
“Doug Na,” Charlene said. “I checked his military file.” She looked at Doug. “What kind of name is that?”
“My last name isn’t really Na. I don’t have a last name, so that’s what they told me to put in the space for a last name on the form.”
Charlene thought for a moment. “Oh, ‘N/A’.”
“Yeah, that’s how they told me it was spelled.”
Charlene turned to Lulu. “So we’re dealing with some sort of arrogant swindler and a moron who supposedly have some ‘secret mission’ for us.”
Lulu giggled. “And I’m in charge. Isn’t that cool?”
“About that.” Bryce looked Lulu over. “The mini-skirt and bunny t-shirt might not convey the sense of leadership we need.”
Lulu frowned. “But they’re cute.”
“That they are, but cute isn’t what we’re going for.”
Lulu set down her shopping bags and stood on her tiptoes to be face to face with Bryce. “Well, maybe I’m such a strong leader that I even command authority while looking cute.”
“Okay… but can we do something about the pigtails?”
Lulu shook her fist in Bryce’s face and snarled, “Why don’t you worry about yourself instead of my hairstyle.” She put her hand down and giggled. “See, I can even be threatening if I need to.”
Doug didn’t think she was successfully threatening, but she was better at it than Shannon.
Charlene, on the other hand, looked quite threatening without even trying, and Doug thought she’d make an excellent goon. “This is beyond moronic. Lulu, let’s get out of here.” Charlene turned to leave.
Bryce ran in front of Charlene. “At least stay for the mission briefing. That will remove all doubts.”
Lulu looked excited. “A secret mission briefing could be fun… plus Bryce still owes me dinner.”
Charlene rolled her eyes. “Fine. Maybe I can beat up the next mugger as training so this whole night isn’t a waste.”
“Follow me, then. Doug, carry Lulu’s things.” Bryce led them down the street as Doug carried now both Bryce’s and Lulu’s bags.
Charlene turned to Doug. “How do you not have a last name?”
“I never knew my parents, and the orphanage never gave me a last name.”
“Barely gave him a first,” Bryce added.
“And how did you get involved with this con artist?” Charlene pointed at Bryce, who ignored her.
“We grew up in the orphanage together. We’ve been best friends since forever.”
“Associates,” Bryce corrected. He led them into what appeared to be just one of many abandoned buildings. Doug began to wonder how much of this “mission” Bryce really knew about and how much he was about to discover along with them. Doug got a partial answer when Bryce came to a door and stopped, his hand hovering over the doorknob with some hesitance.
Bryce looked at Lulu. “Well, you’re the leader, so… lead away.”
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(NOTE: Frank J.’s hastily hacked together stories are in no way supported or condoned by Baen)

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PREVIOUS (PART 7)

Doug stumbled out of the apartment and down the front steps. When he regained his balance, he found himself face to face with a stern looking young woman in a black suit. She grabbed him by his coat collar. “And where are you going?”
“I’m just… uh…”
Standing a number of inches shorter, she pulled Doug down to eye-level. “Did you happen to see a man in there who looks to spend a little too much time working on his hair? Goes by the name of Bryce?”
Doug had long ago been told by Bryce to never tell any woman – especially an angry-looking woman – where he is. “No, I never saw such a person.”
She stared at Doug for a moment. He just wasn’t a great liar. “Speaking of hair, you might want to invest in a comb yourself.”
Doug ran his hand through his matted black hair. “It’s been a busy day.”
She shoved Doug away, but she ended up being knocked back from the effort more than him. “Now tell me where Bryce is before I have to hurt you.”
The women looking for Bryce usually only threatened Bryce with violence. “I know Bryce can kinda be a jerk, so it’s probably better you just forget about him.”
She pulled out a knife and pointed it at Doug’s face. “I’ll forget him when he’s dead. Now tell me where he is before I take one of your eyes.”
“Aren’t you taking this way too seriously?”
She sneered. “I don’t think you understand the kind of people Bryce has pissed off; you’ll be lucky if you don’t wind up dead just for knowing him.”
Kind of people? Doug was confused for a moment, but then something clicked. “Wait; are you a goon?”
She looked a bit uncomfortable by the question. “My title is ‘Enforcer’.”
“Which is like a goon, right? I mean, you’re hired by some guy to rough people up?”
“And that job is called an ‘Enforcer’.”
Doug looked the young woman over. She was kinda cute and not at all imposing… even with the knife pointed at him. “You really don’t look like a goon.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well… you’re not intimidating at all. Goons should be able to intimidate people.”
She now pressed the blade of her knife against Doug’s face. “I think you’ll be scared once I start cutting you!”
“I wouldn’t like it, but I still don’t think that would make you seem like a goon. I mean, a little kid could come at me waving a knife, and I might be scared of getting cut, but the kid still wouldn’t be intimidating.” Doug thought for a moment. “It’s kinda hard to describe, but when I think of a goon I think of someone who should be able to scare me even without a weapon.”
“Are you saying women can’t be goo… enforcers?”
“No, I’m just… uh… saying that, even for a woman, you’re not very goonish.”
A large man also in a black suit came out of an alley from behind the apartment building. “I don’t see any other exits,” he told the goonette. He had a scarred face and was a number of pounds bigger than Doug, and all of it looked to be muscle.
“Now he’s what I think of when I hear the word ‘goon’,” Doug said. “He’s intimidating.”
The man walked right up to Doug, and the goonette backed off a bit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I was just telling the lady goon there that she doesn’t seem goonish. I didn’t mean it personal or anything.”
The goon grabbed Doug by his collar and lifted him up slightly. It was pretty scary and much less awkward than when the goonette did it. “That’s sexist! Shannon is a very a good goon.”
“Enforcer!” Shannon corrected.
“She’s roughed up a lot bigger punks than you,” the goon said.
“Maybe she has, but that’s not what I was talking about. Now, I’ve never hired goons, but I have been roughed up by them before. And, to me, a goon should be scary even before the roughing up, just like you’re doing now. She just isn’t intimidating, that’s all.” As Doug got into the argument, he began to gesticulate a bit. This caused the pipe in his sleeve to slip into his hand and reminded him why he was out here in the first place. “Oh yeah.” He smacked the goon in the head, sending him straight to the ground. He then turned to Shannon and held up the pipe, ready to strike again, but just couldn’t hit her, as she really didn’t look that intimidating.
As Doug stood still with the pipe posed over his head, Shannon pointed her knife at him, her hand visibly shaking. Her left hand slowly reached under her jacket. “I have a gun!”
“Well… if you pull out that gun, I’ll bash you good! I really will!”
“This is one pathetic stalemate.” Doug glanced to his side see that Bryce was bent over the downed goon. Bryce pulled a gun out of the goon’s jacket and then stood up and pointed it at Shannon. “You mentioned something about having a gun; why don’t you slowly give that to me.”
She dropped her knife and handed over a pistol. “You’re not going to get away with this, Bryce,” she told him in an attempt at a threatening voice that Doug thought really fell short. “You’re a dead man.”
“Why does everyone take everything so personally?” Bryce looked to Doug. “Now give her a good whack.”
“But she’s unarmed.”
“Which should make it easy.”
Doug looked at Shannon, who stared back in fear. He closed his eyes and prepared to swing, but Shannon bolted. Bryce aimed one of his guns at her but eventually just threw his hands in the air. “Call me sentimental, Doug, but I just can’t shoot an unarmed woman I recently slept with in the back. Anyway, good going there, nitwit. When goons get away, they tend to multiply.”
“She just didn’t look like a goon.”
Bryce handed one of the guns to Doug. “Get with the times, Doug. Even criminal organizations are getting pressured to meet quotas, and that means there is a high demand for female goons.”
“I didn’t know that.” Doug looked over the pistol. “Aren’t these illegal to have when we’re not in uniform?”
“That’s why you hide it under your coat like so.” Bryce put away his gun, and Doug put his in a pocket on the inside of his jacket. “Now grab my stuff…” Bryce pointed to his briefcase and suitcase near the apartment’s doorway. “…and let’s go meet our dates.”
Doug grabbed the bags. “Why are goons after you anyway?”
“Doug, I don’t inquire about your personal life, so leave mine alone.”
“I just watch TV and play videogames when you’re not around.”
“And that’s your business.”
Doug followed Bryce. “And you never did tell me why you trashed your apartment.”
“If I explained everything to you, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else. Come on, Doug; destiny awaits.”
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“How do you tell if someone is following you and not just heading in the same direction?” Doug entered the apartment building with Bryce. It wasn’t in the nicest part of town, but it wasn’t in the worst part of town either. He had no idea how Bryce was able to obtain it while it currently belonged to the Proserpine military, but Doug did know that asking him about it would never bring about any answers. Anyway, other things worried him more. “I really don’t think you should be tricking those two women into whatever your scheme is this time.”
“Just trust me, Doug.”
“Why?”
This gave Bryce pause. After a moment, he answered, “Because I saved your life today. You at least owe me a little trust for that.”
Bryce had never played the “I saved your life” card before. Then again, all the other times Doug was rescued by Bryce, it was Bryce’s fault he needed saving in the first place. “You promise you won’t get them killed or something?”
Bryce took a second to answer that. “This is an important plan, Doug. It will mean no more pointless fights and pointless deaths for some whack-job who thinks he or she is a god. The more people I involve with this, the better.”
This did make it sound more important than Bryce’s usual scheme to earn a few dishonest credits. It certainly seemed he was building to something, as he had been gone more than a week before today’s battle – the longest Doug had ever known Bryce to be out on his own. Doug was a little hurt to be that much out of the loop, but he always got the feeling that when Bryce didn’t involve him with something, it was best he didn’t know about it. Now Doug was actually curious what this was about, especially if it was going to free them from the Empress Proserpine’s government as well as those of the other emperors. This was beginning to sound like it might be as important a task as he had dreamed about last night. “So are we going to finally fight the system?”
Bryce struck Doug in the back of his head. “No! Of course not, you idiot. Don’t even joke about that. The system is big and was put in place by many powerful people who will kill all who would dare threaten it. You should never even contemplate taking on the system. You only game or play the system – never fight it.” He headed up the stairwell. “Enough talk; let’s get moving.”
Bryce’s apartment was on the fifth floor. They stopped in front of it as Bryce inspected the door – especially near the handle. Bryce pointed to one spot near the frame. “A sharp kick here should break the door in.”
Doug stared a while at that spot until he noticed Bryce was staring at him. “What?”
“Are you going to kick it or knock it down with the power of your pea-sized brain?”
Doug furrowed his brow. “Don’t you have a key?”
Bryce sighed. “I asked you to trust me, but you’re still inundating me with dumb questions. Of course I have a key. Now kick the door in.”
With one sharp kick, the door broke open. Bryce’s apartment wasn’t very large, but he had furnished it with a certain sense of style that made Bryce appear more opulent than he was. Or at least it did until Bryce started knocking over tables, smashing decorations, and ripping his paintings.
“Why are you breaking everything?”
Bryce broke a glass coffee table with a chair. “Again with the questions! Are you writing an exposé on me or something?”
“Sorry.” Doug looked around. “Can I smash something at least?”
Bryce moved to the kitchen and started knocking plates and glasses out of his cabinets. “No; you might break something I need.” Bryce stopped to look out his window. “Oh, and to answer an earlier question, the way you can tell someone is following you is that he will be trying to look like he’s not following you.”
“But everyone looks like they’re not following me.”
Bryce grabbed a briefcase near his bed and started filling it with some items from his filing cabinet. “Yes, but there’s a difference between how someone looks when they’re actually not following you and when they’re trying to look like they’re not following you.” He knocked over the filing cabinet. “Anyway, there is a pipe under the sink. Go get it.”
Doug looked under the sink. “The only pipe I see is connected to the sink.”
Bryce took a suitcase out of his closet and knocked over all his hanging clothes. “That’s the one; pull it out.”
With a little effort, Doug pulled out the pipe causing himself to be sprayed with water. “The water is still on!”
“That it is.” Bryce walked to his door carrying his briefcase in one hand and the suitcase in another. “Let’s get going to the meeting point. You lead the way.”
Doug walked out into the hallway and tried to hand Bryce his pipe.
“No, you keep that; I’ll carry the rest.”
That was another first for Bryce: him carrying the heavy stuff. Doug didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and led the way back down the stairs. Before they got to the exit, Bryce said, “Hold on a sec.” He put down his briefcase and suitcase. “Put the pipe up your sleeve.”
Doug stuck the pipe up his right sleeve and curled his hand inwards to hold it in. “What am I doing?”
“Just a simple little errand. What I want you to do is walk out of the apartment, bash any goons you see in the head with that pipe, and then call me when the coast is clear.”
“Wha?” was all Doug was able to utter before Bryce had shoved him out the door.
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“So what are you guys planning on spending your gift certificates on?” Bryce had changed out of his uniform into what looked like a brand new suit. The four were standing outside of the military base, and none had said much since the debrief with the General.
“They tried to kill us!” Lulu screamed. She was now wearing a short skirt and a t-shirt with bunnies on it. With her pigtails, she looked more like she just got out of class than came from a battlefield. “I can’t believe they tried to kill us! I’m just glad he gave us gift certificates because, after all of that slaughter, I really need to shop.” She turned to Charlene. “Can they really do that? Can they just send us out to die? I’m so mad, I’m really thinking of writing someone an angry letter… maybe with swears in it.”
Charlene was still expressionless. When she had changed, she’d let her long brown hair out of her pony tail and put on a leather jacket. For a petite, five-foot woman, Doug thought she had a pretty intimidating presence. After a couple seconds, she looked up at Lulu. “We are in no position to question the leadership. If General Daniels has done anything improper in assigning us to that mission, it will be dealt with. It is not our responsibility to make that assessment, though, and the command structure will collapse if we try and take on that responsibility.”
Bryce laughed. “Wow. You’re a real piece of work there, Charlene. We’re not being listened to by the government, so spare us the loyal drone spiel.”
Her expression turned fierce. “Before the battle, I remarked that the squad was full of incompetents who deserved death, and I stand by that. I speak only what I believe and nothing else, and I am loyal to our divine Empress.”
“It takes a twisted mind to pretend that battle was anything other than a pointless slaughter. Plus, I hate to break it to you, but I recently heard a rumor that Proserpine is an alien.” Bryce smiled and looked at Doug. “I think this one might actually be dumber than you.”
“Hey!” Doug punched Bryce in the shoulder. “Lay off her!”
Bryce backed away looking surprised. “Okay; calm down.” Doug surprised himself. He had barely ever gotten angry at his best friend, but Charlene, despite her outward appearances, seemed a bit sad about something. Doug just couldn’t stand watching Bryce treat her the way Bryce usually treated people.
“Let’s get to the mall, Charlene,” Lulu said. “I’m not as happy about the slaughter as you are, and I need to at least get some new shoes or something.”
Bryce grabbed Doug by his jacket collar and whispered, “You need to ask Charlene out before they leave.”
Doug turned red. “I dunno. She’s just so–”
“Let me see your gift certificate.” Doug took it out of his jacket pocket. Bryce quickly snatched it. “Now it’s mine.”
“Hey! I earned that!”
Bryce put it away in his suit. “You won’t get it back until you ask Charlene out. Tell her to meet you at the corner of Geist and Minton at eight for dinner. It will be my treat.”
Doug glared at Bryce and then jogged after Charlene who was already walking off with Lulu. “Hey, Charlene.”
She turned around. “What?”
Doug couldn’t help but sink from her gaze. “I was… uh… just wondering if… uh… you like dinner and… uh…”
“Are you asking me out?” Her expression was one of contempt.
“Well, it’s just…”
“I am a great soldier of the divine Empress’s army; how dare you ask me out in such a timid manner!”
“I’m sorry.” Defeated, Doug turned to walk away.
“And you’re retreating!” Charlene grabbed Doug and yanked him back. “You dishonor your uniform. Stand up straight and do that again.”
Doug again faced Charlene, who was staring back intensely. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Bryce had split off Lulu and was talking to her. Doug stood at attention, met Charlene’s gaze, and said, “I was thinking, that… you know… if you don’t have anything better to do…”
“I can barely hear you!”
“It’s just that… uh…”
“Stop stuttering and get to the point!”
“Can I take you out to dinner? You’re pretty!”
Charlene thought about that for a moment, not breaking her gaze with Doug’s. “Fine… but just because we’re soldiers who fought together. Don’t consider it a date. Where are we going?”
“Just meet me at Geist and Minton at eight, and I’ll surprise you.”
“Okay.” Charlene about-faced and called out, “Come on, Lulu.” Lulu waved goodbye to Bryce then Doug and walked off with Charlene.
When the women were far enough away, Doug turned to Bryce and pumped his fists in the air. “I did it.”
Bryce handed Doug back his gift certificate. “Yeah, I saw. Makes me sorry I made you do that.”
“But I like her. So what restaurant is near Geist and Minton?”
Bryce shrugged. “I don’t know if there is any. Come on, we need to get some things from my place.”
“What? Hey, this isn’t part of your new scheme, is it?”
Bryce straightened his tie. “It’s not a scheme; it’s a plan. And, yes, Lulu and Charlene now factor into it.”
“I don’t think it’s right for you to trick them into whatever it is you’re going to do. They’ve just been through a lot.”
“That reminds me: I still don’t know who it was we just fought… but I guess I’m just too embarrassed to ask at this point.” He headed down the street. “Let’s go. Oh, and there’s more than a small possibility that some people will be following us who want to do me harm, so keep an eye out.”
“Okay.” Doug followed Bryce for a few seconds until his brain kicked in. “Wait; what was that last part?”
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While waiting for backup, Doug did his best to make sure the excess peanut butter and jelly sandwiches he and Bryce had didn’t go to waste. Both Lulu and Charlene said they weren’t hungry, and Doug couldn’t blame them, as the battlefield was now filled with odd smells, none of them pleasant.
When someone did come, it was just one troop transport to fly them back to base. Charlene questioned this, and they were told the General would explain. At base, they were marched straight to his office.
General Daniels didn’t look in the best of shape. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was a couple days unshaven, and he was probably drunk – or was going to be soon from how he was constantly pouring himself more whiskey. He took a swig from his glass and then looked up from his desk at the four in front of him. “Oh yeah, you guys.”
Doug was still standing at attention along with Lulu and Charlene, but Bryce was leaning casually against a wall. “I was expressing concern about how, when we left the battlefield, there were no new forces to relieve us,” Charlene said.
The General took another drink. “Yeah… well, to be honest, I didn’t prepare for the contingency that we’d actually win.”
Doug, as usual, was confused, so he looked at Charlene. She appeared surprised for a moment, but regained herself to her neutral expression as she addressed the General. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s a numbers thing, Murphy.” The General finished off his glass and poured another. “Considering what you all went through, I guess the least I can do is explain the decision making behind this mission. The higher-ups like to keep tabs on a number of different stats. They noted that, while all parts of the military are now 50/50 gender-wise, most of the casualties are men, and that perhaps showed some sort of sexism in women’s role in our fine military. I was told to fix that.” He chuckled. “And, since I can’t bring men back to life, my only option was to get women killed to even up the ratio. Thus I made a whole squadron of you ladies and sent you on a suicide mission. The problem was I accidentally put you on it, Murphy, which was an oversight on my part… in my defense, though, I’ve been drunk the past few days.”
Doug tried unsuccessfully to process all that and looked at the others. Charlene could not contain her shock this time. Lulu appeared mortified. Bryce was checking the cleanliness of his nails. Then a thought occurred to Doug. “So why were Bryce and I included in this?”
“I just don’t like you two and was thinking, ‘Well, as long as I’m killing people off…'” He laughed and took another drink. “Anyway, you all actually winning this battle has put some egg on my face, but that’s not your fault. I’ll try and get you guys some medals, but until then, I got you some gift certificates for the mall.” The General stood up and handed each of them an envelope. “I award you these for your great valor in serving the divine Empress Proserpine yadda yadda yadda.” The General plopped back into his seat and poured whiskey into a couple more glasses. He sipped at one for a bit while the others stared blankly at their gift certificates – except for Bryce, who quickly pocketed his after checking its value. After a few seconds of silence, the General looked up at the four again. “Still here? You all standing there is really starting to annoy me. Either leave, snap and kill me, or have a glass of whiskey.”
Doug felt like getting out of there. Charlene appeared ready to cry. Lulu was just shaking and seemed to be mumbling something. Bryce, on the other hand, stepped forward. “Guess I’ll have some whiskey, then.” He picked up a glass. “Out of curiosity, how did you pick those women to die? Did you base it on competency or attractiveness?”
“I wussed out of picking anyone and had a list randomly generated… except for adding you and that dummy who’s always following you around.” The General motioned to Doug.
“Hmm.” Bryce took a sip and instantly had a look of disgust. “This whiskey is horrid.”
The General took a big drink. “By the time you get to my rank, you get used to it.”
Charlene suddenly bolted out of the room. Doug started to go after her but realized he had no idea what to say to her. The General slumped down into his chair. “Hell, I was sure she’d kill me. Now I have to make plans for the evening.” He finished his glass. “I’ll never understand women.”
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Doug soon caught up with Lulu and Charlene and matched their pace as they ran for the battle-mech. “Uh… so what exactly are we doing?”
Charlene kept focused on the figures ahead. “I’m going to climb that mech and you two will cover me. I know where the emergency release for the cockpit is, so I should be able to take out the pilot. When the mech is under my control, just stay back.”
Doug ran that over in his mind. “So just shoot at whoever is shooting at you, right?”
“That would be the definition of cover fire. I’m not going to be able to defend myself as I’m climbing the mech.”
Keeping someone from getting shot seemed a bigger responsibility than Doug was ready for. He hoped Lulu had a better idea of what to do, but she was shaking and wide-eyed, looking ready to bolt any second. The numerous bodies they had to step over on their way weren’t encouraging, either.
Charlene brought her rifle up. “They see us.” She fired, and a few soldiers ahead fell to the ground.
There was a huge eruption of gunfire in response. Lulu shrieked and dived for cover behind an overturned truck. Doug stuck with Charlene and fired, though he wasn’t quite sure at what. The mech then pivoted to face them, its giant guns now pointed in their direction.
“We’ll only be safe from its weapons when we’re directly below it,” Charlene called out and shot off some more rounds.
Doug nodded and then saw the ground explode all around him as the mech fired. He ran even quicker now, not bothering to fire as he couldn’t see or hear anything other than the explosions. When he could see something again, it was the mech looming over him.
Charlene pulled him out of the way of the mech’s foot. “Cover fire!” She slung her rifle over her shoulder and started to climb the mech. Bullets were ricocheting off the mech’s legs from all directions, and Doug fired as often as he could as he kept ducking both the return fire and the mech’s moving feet. His rifle clicked empty, and Doug quickly pulled out another magazine as he accidentally bumped into the mech’s foot and fell over. He saw three soldiers running towards him. Doug kept trying to put another magazine into his rifle, then realized he was doing it backwards. Just as the soldier got a bead on him, a burst of gunfire dropped the three.
Doug saw a large metal foot coming down. He rolled out of the way and finally reloaded his gun. He wondered where the saving shots came from, but then remembered Charlene. He looked up for her, and then had to dodge a falling body. The mech began firing again, but this time at the enemy soldiers. “Die!” Charlene’s voice echoed out of the mech’s speakers.
Doug ran back for safety, taking glances at the mech that now chased the enemy. A hand grabbed him and sent him to the ground. Above him was Bryce. He and Lulu were apparently now both hiding behind the overturned truck, and Bryce looked angry. “You almost ruined my plans getting killed out there! The arrangement has always been that I plot and you carry things, so let’s not repeat this.”
“Hey! You saved me, didn’t you?”
Bryce helped Doug to his feet. “Just feel lucky I realized that, with the current timetable for said plans, there wasn’t enough time to find a replacement for you.”
“What plans?” Lulu asked.
Bryce looked taken aback by the question. Doug had long ago stopped asking about Bryce’s schemes because he never gave a straight answer. Bryce looked Lulu over and then something seemed to click in his mind. “I’ll explain them soon enough. This will change our lives, and you’re quite crucial to it… uh…”
“Lulu. Am I going to have to carry stuff?”
“Of course not. That’s Doug’s job– and you’re going to be in charge.”
Lulu’s eyes brightened. “Ooh! Sounds fun!”
Doug looked out towards the mech and its carnage. “Do we need to help Charlene?”
There were many explosions and screams in the distance. “I think she has it under control,” Bryce said.
Lulu looked out from behind the truck. “No fair! They get to retreat.”
Bryce walked out from cover. “Life isn’t fair.”
The three then watched for a while as the battle-mech chased the enemy over the horizon and cries of “Die, cowards, die!” echoed out of its speakers. Soon Bryce set down the blanket again and went back to eating lunch.
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“Do you need help, Charlene?”
The enemy soldier Charlene was wrestling with definitely had a size advantage on the small Charlene. She didn’t look scared, though. “This is my kill!” she yelled back at Doug.
“Well, once you’re done, we have spare sandwiches.”
Charlene elbowed the soldier in the head and wrested the knife free. “Don’t distract me!” Doug turned his eyes and covered his ears as the fight came to an end. He looked back to see Charlene standing over the dead body as she cleaned off the knife. “What are you two doing back here?”
“Special Ops.” Bryce eyed the dead body with a look of disgust. “Could you move that? We’re eating.”
Charlene appeared ready to use her knife again. “How can you hide back here? Don’t you know we’re getting slaughtered out there?”
Bryce wiped his mouth with a napkin. “If you parse what you just said, you’ll notice the second part is a good answer to the first part.”
Another soldier jumped into the ditch. It was who Doug recognized her as Charlene’s friend Lulu. “There you are!” Lulu said to Charlene. “I was looking for you! Everyone is getting killed so I wanted to stay near you since you seem to know what you’re doing.” She straightened her pigtails as she looked around the ditch. “We have sandwiches?”
Charlene ignored her and looked out from the ditch. “It’s gotten quiet.”
This seemed to make Charlene and Lulu look quite worried, so Doug offered in a hopeful voice, “Maybe we won.”
For a small woman, Charlene hit hard. After smacking Doug, she looked at Lulu. “Try and find where the rest of our forces are.”
Lulu spoke into her radio. “Hey, it’s Lulu; how is everyone doing? …Hello? …Hello?” Lulu looked at Charlene. “Um… do you think we’re all that’s left?”
“I’m afraid so.”
They were quiet for a moment, but Bryce broke the silence. “Well, this sucks. Luckily, I have my jogging shoes on. Who’s up for a tactical retreat?”
Doug wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. “How far are we going to have to run?”
Charlene grabbed Doug and put her knife to his face. “You run, and you’ll be executed for cowardice!”
Bryce pulled Charlene’s hand off of Doug. “How about we retreat, but we don’t tell anyone about it.”
Lulu gave a worried glance to the enemy forces. “I like that idea.”
Charlene frowned as she sheathed her knife. “Are you suggesting we go AWOL?”
Bryce began to pack up the picnic. “I’m not sure what the technical term is for it, but I think we should just call it the ‘not getting killed’ option.”
Doug, as usual, was confused. “Will we get in trouble for being AWOL?”
Lulu sat low in the ditch and started rocking back and forth. “I really hate this war stuff. I just want to get out of this and get that job as an administrative assistant. These uniforms aren’t flattering at all and the boots we have to wear are ugly. Plus, there’s two much violence and yelling and… Ow!”
After yanking one of Lulu’s pigtails, Charlene addressed the three. “I already checked, and no backup is coming. This fight is up to us. We may be outnumbered, but if we can take control of their battle-mech, we could turn the tide. It won’t be easy, but remember that we fight for the divine honor of Empress Proserpine and to avenge the death of our comrades!”
Lulu was still rubbing her head. “But you never liked your comrades, and they really hated you.”
Charlene stood up. “It’s the principle, Lulu. Now, I’ll need some ammo. I used up all of mine killing the enemy.”
Lulu looked at her gun. “I only have one of the bullet container thingees–”
“Magazines.”
“–magazines left.”
“I have plenty of ammo I’m not using!” Doug said, glad to be helpful. He looked through his sack. “Where is it?”
“I have it.” Bryce opened his sack and took out some magazines and handed them to Charlene and Lulu. “I always unload Doug’s gun and take his ammo before each battle for his own safety and the safety of others.”
Charlene put a magazine into her rifle and chambered a round. “Is there any point in asking if you two cowards will help?”
Bryce picked up his pack and rifle. “No, not much point in asking. You two have fun, and we’ll look for how you did in the obituaries tomorrow.”
Charlene sneered at them and then climbed out of the ditch. Lulu started to follow but stopped for a moment to look towards Bryce and Doug. “Could you guys wait a minute back here, because, if Charlene gets killed, I’m going to do that AWOL thing with you two.”
“Sure thing,” Bryce said. Lulu then headed out of the ditch with a slight whimper. When she was out of sight, Bryce turned to Doug. “Okay, let’s get running.”
Doug picked up his gun and watched the two women running off towards the twenty-five-foot robot in the distance. “They’re going to get killed! We have to help!”
Bryce shook his head. “No, Doug. Proper logic would go this way: They’re going to get killed, so we need to be as far away from them as possible.”
Doug began to climb out of the ditch. “Everyone else got killed while we sat here eating sandwiches; I’m not sitting by while anyone else dies.”
“We’re not going to be sitting! We’re going to be running! Doug, this whole battle is pointless! Also, I really do have some big plans I’m working on, and it would be quite useful to have you not dead for them. This plan might involve heavy things that need carrying, and you know I’m not going to do that… And didn’t the guy in your crazy dream say to stay alive so you could fight aliens or something?”
Doug held his rifle at the ready and prepared to run after Charlene and Lulu. “That was a dream; this is real. It’s time for me to be useful now.” Doug began to head towards the enemy.
“Doug!”
“What, Bryce?”
Bryce threw Doug some magazines. “You might need some ammo.”
Doug missed them and quickly picked them up off the ground, putting one in his rifle. “Thanks, Bryce.” He started his run again.
“Doug!”
“What?”
“Chamber a round.”
Doug looked down at his rifle. “Oh yeah.”
Bryce sunk back into the safety of the ditch. “Idiot.”
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“Bryce, I had a weird dream last night.”
“Is that so, Doug?” Bryce opened his pack and dug through it.
“I was in this room, and it started filling with water. In the water were fish… and they bit my feet. And then I was one of the fish.”
“I guess that’s weird.” Bryce took out a sheet and laid it down in the ditch he and Doug were in.
“But I had another dream before that. I was hanging upside down, and this guy Stan said that the Emperors and some others are aliens called the Fallen and I have to send them back to a prison in some other dimension just like this guy named Jesus did who died penniless and friendless.”
Bryce stared at Doug for a moment. “Did you bring the chips?”
Doug took a pouch of sandwiches out of his pack. “I thought I was bringing the sandwiches this time.”
“No!” Bryce shouted, his outburst emphasized by an explosion nearby that tossed dirt on them. “Now we have too many sandwiches and no chips. I was counting on you, Doug!”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Bryce took out his pouch of sandwiches. “Well, it could have been worse; we could have too many chips and no sandwiches. You at least have the coffee, right?”
Doug took out the thermos. “Of course.” Doug glanced out of the ditch to see a large robot with guns for arms walking by. “Is that theirs or ours?”
“I dunno; I didn’t pay attention at the briefing. I don’t even know what nation we’re fighting today.” Bryce took a bite out of a sandwich.
Among all the explosions, Doug could hear a number of screams. “Do you think we should help?”
Bryce poured some coffee. “Someone has to take up flank positions, and I think we’re best suited for that.”
“Well, Stan told me I need to be careful not to get killed since he needs me to fight the Fallen.”
Bryce moved his rifle so he could lie back more comfortably in the ditch. “Not getting killed is a good idea. I actually have a plan – a great plan – where the prerequisite is we don’t get killed today.”
“What plan?”
“A big one. We’ll finally get out of these pointless battles and onto our path to power and fortune.”
Bryce always had plans like that. So far, none had worked, but each new one seemed closer to working… and closer to getting them imprisoned or killed.
A woman screamed nearby.
Doug started to get up. “I think we should help.”
Bryce grabbed Doug and pulled him back down into the ditch. “Helping is how you get killed. And how do you even know that wasn’t one of their soldiers? Listen to that Stan guy and stay here and eat your sandwiches.”
After a little hesitation, Doug picked up a sandwich. “Stan told me he is God.”
Bryce sighed. “Everyone says they’re God these days. There’s no God, Doug. If there were, everything wouldn’t be so pointless.”
“Aren’t we supposed to believe our Empress is God?”
Bryce finished chewing a bite from his sandwich. “We’re supposed to pretend to believe. I don’t think anyone actually believes that. A real god would be someone who created the whole universe and everything, and none of the idiots in charge of these stupid warring nations could have done that.”
“Then who did?” Doug asked with a full mouth.
“Probably no one.” There was another explosion near then, pelting them with dirt and rocks. “That is getting annoying.”
“Stan says that the Emperors and others like them can’t be killed… not even if you shot them in the face.”
“If that’s true, why aren’t they out here fighting?” Bryce took a sip of coffee. “I, for one, am quite concerned about projectiles to the face. So, this Stan guy you dreamed about, he wanted you to take on these invulnerable aliens.”
“He said I’m special.”
A few bullets whistled overhead. “Hadn’t heard that used as a synonym for ‘retarded’ in some time.”
“Do you know what The Great War was about, Bryce?”
“Land, power, slights real and imagined… same as any other war.” There was another nearby explosion, and Bryce pulled his rifle closer. “This new inquisitive Doug is getting kind of annoying. Can’t we just eat our sandwiches in peace and quiet like every other battle we’ve been in? I really do have a great new venture for us once this is over, so I’m quite keen on the ‘not getting killed.’ Sitting quietly behind the fray seems to have always worked well to that end, so let’s stick to it.”
“Okay.” Doug took another bite of his sandwich but found it hard to ignore the screams of what could be his fellow comrades. He peeked out of the safety of their ditch once again. It was hard to see through the smoke and the dirt being thrown in the air, though. The large robot was busy shooting at something that was luckily nowhere near them. “I wonder how our side is doing.”
“If you’re really curious, turn on your radio. I find the things annoying, though.”
Doug turned on his radio to hear a bunch of screams. He turned it off. “Did you notice how the squad this time is all women… except for us?”
Bryce smirked. “I more than noticed; I took advantage of the situation.”
“I wonder why that is.”
“I don’t. The government always has some stupid reason for everything.” He then smiled at Doug. “So, is there one you have your eye on?”
“I like Charlene.”
Bryce dropped his sandwich. “That psycho!?”
“I think she’s nice… in her own way. And she’s cute.”
“That’s kind of hard to notice since she’s always covered in someone else’s blood.”
Doug frowned. “Hey, you asked. I like her.”
“Die, bitch!” someone screamed as two people fell into the ditch. It was Charlene struggling with an enemy soldier over a knife.
“Speaking of the devil.” Bryce pulled the sandwiches to safety and nudged Doug. “Here’s your chance; ask her out.”
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“Do you know who Jesus is, Doug?”
It was hard for Doug to think while hanging upside down with his hands quite uncomfortably bound behind his back, but he was pretty sure he’d never met a Jesus. “No, I don’t think I know him.”
His questioner smiled, and it still looked like a smile even upside down. “You wouldn’t know him personally. I was just wondering if you knew of him.”
“No, I don’t. Uh… who is he?”
A light shove sent Doug swinging and spinning around. All he could see of the room around him was darkness. A firm hand grabbed him and he was back to being face to face with his captor. Upside down and in a dark room, it was hard to see him too well. He appeared neither young nor old, but he had a regal air to him… and it wasn’t just the suit he was wearing. Doug just had this feeling that, for some reason, he was now talking to someone very important. Despite his predicament, Doug was a bit flattered that anyone important would bother talking to him.
“It’s an old story, Doug.” The man smiled again. “Jesus was a man of great principle. He lived his life never compromising those principles, and do you know what happened to him?”
Doug shook his head.
“He died penniless and abandoned by his friends.”
Doug thought about that. “That’s not much of a story.”
The man let Doug go, and he swung back and forth a bit. “Well… there’s a bit more to it, but that’s the gist of it. You can call me Stan, by the way. You’re probably wondering why you’re here.”
“Yeah… that’s true. Last I remember I was in my barracks going to sleep.” As much as Doug hated hanging upside down, he was hoping this meant he could miss the battle tomorrow. Then again, his best friend Bryce was counting on him. “Am I in trouble?”
“No, not at all.”
“Then why am I hanging upside down like this?”
Stan shrugged. “Why not?”
Doug thought about that. “Because I don’t like it.”
“It was a rhetorical question, Doug.”
Doug thought even harder. “Is that like a math question?”
A woman’s voice then piped in, “Is this going somewhere, Stan?” Doug tilted his head to see the embers of a cigarette being smoked by someone standing a ways back from Stan.
Stan still faced Doug. “Patience, Ms. Bee. Doug has an important mission to do for us.”
“I do?” Doug was never given anything important to do as he had usually screwed up even the simple tasks.
“You’re quite special, Doug.”
“Really? How?” The only thing Doug could think of that he could do well was make coffee. No matter how many bullets and bombs were flying, Doug could be counted on to make at least one decent pot.
“Let’s not worry about the specifics.” Stan seemed to stop to think, and Doug tried to look at him a bit more closely.
“Do I know you?”
Stan smiled. “I’m often told I look familiar.” He leaned closer to Doug. “I’m God.”
Doug could hear Ms. Bee laughing. Stan now turned toward her. “If you’re not going to help, do you have something else you could be doing?”
She laughed again. “I’ll be quiet; I don’t want to suffer the wrath of the Lord.”
Doug, as usual, was confused. “Empress Proserpine says she is God.”
Stan shoved Doug, sending him spinning again. “As do the five other Emperors, but the problem is there can be only one true God. After The Great War and the defeat of the prior ruler, there’s been a foolish rush to power.” Stan grabbed Doug. “Everyone wants to rule the world, Doug, but few would know what to do with it should he succeed. I know what needs to be done, though.”
“Who was the prior ruler?”
Stan stepped back. “Let’s not worry about him.”
“He was a jerk,” Ms. Bee added and smoked her cigarette.
“Suffice it to say, the old ruler was defeated in The Great War,” Stan said.
“The one with the nukes?”
“Yeah, that one, Doug. It was a continuation of a battle that started long ago… one fought over a long, long time. It’s nearly over, but the world has to be put in order again. That’s where you come in.”
Doug tried, and failed, to process all this. “Well, I’m not very good at… uh… stuff. I’m just a soldier, and not a very good one. I’m not even sure I score high enough on tests to get that fry cook job I want after I’m out of the military.”
“You’ll do, Doug; don’t worry. You have a greater destiny than frying things. Now, do you know what the Emperors are?”
He had always wondered that. “I think they’re supposed to be really powerful.”
“They are, and they’re not human.”
Doug furrowed his brow. “Are they aliens?”
Stan considered that a moment. “Something like that. Let’s call them the ‘Fallen’.”
“What did they fall from?”
“Not important. What is important is that they are evil. You know what evil is, don’t you, Doug?”
“Like really bad, I think.”
Ms. Bee giggled. “It’s like we’re dealing with a child.”
“Hey! It’s hard to think when you’re hung upside down in the dark!” Doug shouted.
“Ignore her, Doug. Anyway, these Emperors are quite bad and must be dealt with, but they cannot be killed.”
“Even if you shot them in the face?”
“Yes.”
Doug thought about that. “Did you try shooting them in the face?”
“He’s got you there,” Ms. Bee said.
“Shut up, Bee. No, Doug, shots to the face aren’t going to do it. These beings can’t even harm each other. That’s why they use you humans to fight for power. They believe if they can defeat all the others and have all the remaining humans as their followers, they can be rulers of all there is.”
“But you want to rule?” Doug looked at Stan wondering if he was one of those beings that didn’t mind being shot in the face. He looked like a regular person to him… just maybe cleaner.
“I orchestrated The Great War.” Stan started to appear angry. “I gave us this opportunity, and those fools are squandering it in pointless battles. Thus, something must be done about the Fallen. They can’t be killed, but there is an old prison – the oldest prison – which used to hold them. I need your help sending them back.”
“Where’s the prison?”
“It’s… um… well…” Stan paused for a moment. “You’ve seen sci-fi movies, Doug. Let’s just say it’s in another dimension.”
Doug now considered this on top of everything else and only found himself getting increasingly confused. “Are you sure you can’t just shoot them in the face?”
Stan grabbed Doug. “Forget about shooting in the face! Okay?”
“Sorry!”
Ms. Bee laughed again. “Oh, this is so going to work.”
Stan closed his eyes and, when he reopened them, he was much calmer. “The only way to deal with the Fallen is to send them to this prison. The problem is that no one has done such a thing for thousands of years… since that one called Jesus I told you about.”
“The guy who died penniless and with no friends?”
“Yes, but we’ll try to keep that from happening to you.”
This was a lot for Doug to process. The part he still had the most trouble with is that someone seemed to be counting on him to do something of importance. “Uh… so what do we do?”
Stan paused for a moment. “We’ll have to figure that out, but I have confidence you can take on the Fallen.”
Doug was pretty sure he heard Ms. Bee stifle another laugh. “All of them?” Doug asked. “If anyone found out I was plotting against Empress Proserpine, I’d be in big trouble… the sort where they gut you.”
“Don’t worry; you won’t take on an Emperor at this point. There are many Fallen, and most serve one Emperor or another. We’ll start low, and see what we can do.” He smiled. “This should be fun.”
“So what happens to me now?” Doug tried to look up at the rope he was dangling from. “Can I get down from here?”
“Soon enough. I’ll return you to your barracks. Tomorrow, go to battle as normal, but do whatever you can to keep safe. Avoid any unnecessary risks. We need you alive, Doug.”
If there was one thing Doug had done successfully in Emperess Proserpine’s wars so far, it was stay alive– but just barely. “Okay.”
“We’ll talk again soon. Good luck.”
Stan’s face began to become blurry and fade away. Before everything disappeared, he heard Ms. Bee utter, “I’m just going to go ahead and start working on the next plan.”
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