How Was Heston Damning at the End of Planet of the Apes? These Scientists
Just to add to what Basil said, robots controlled by monkeys’ brains is a bad idea. I believe in Asimov’s robot laws, law number eight for robots is “Never follow the instructions of a monkey.” To make things even worse, scientists are making corpse-eating robots as well. Why? I guess they’ve just said, “The hell with it” and gone full mad scientist mode.
So now monkeys are going to control robots with their brains which will kill us and then eat us. Basically our future is going to be a combination of Planet of the Apes, Terminator, and The Matrix with a bit of Night of the Living Dead thrown in with the corpse eating. The living will envy the dead, and the dead will be eaten by robots controlled by monkeys’ brains.
(13 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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July 15th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
so now monkeys will be able to sit in the comfort of their trees and use robots to pull out and eat our eyeballs?
July 15th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Mad sicentist are going to make monkey controled flesh eating robots. The NWO and judge Sodomizer are going to take our guns so we can’t fight the Monkeynators. Damn this sucks! The only thing I had to worry about when I got up today was if Obama had destroy America. Now I got to worry about Monkeynators killing and eating me.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Someone is controlling these Monkeys! I think it is either Fred Thompson or Sarah Palin! Gasp…be still my heart! I just thought of a Thompson/Palin ticket! I have a stiffy!!!
July 15th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Damn ! It’s those Japanese realizing the dream of a giant man eating Mechi-Kong. And I’ll bet Obootyand Peloseye will fund it.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
And if a monkey used a robot to open a banana, could he still throw out the first pitch like a girl?
I think Obama’s pitch was so bad because he didn’t have his teleprompter. And there was booty all over the place — hot, feminine, distracting booty, not the Volkswagen-sized Aunt Esther kind he has at home.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I, for one, welcome the new necroprimordialborgs, and their wise Latina orchestrator.
If working DoD has taught me anything, it’s to whore your soul to the next popular thing.
July 15th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I blame Bush.
July 15th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
“…or, through inaction, allow the instructions of a monkey to be followed.”
July 15th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
The most dangerous aspect of monkeys controlling robots is their unsavory habit of flinging their poo. If the monkeys controlling the robots decide to have the robots fling their poo we could all be in trouble. Getting hit by monkey poo is bad enough but being struck by a heavy piece of metallic robot poo could be down right dangerous.
July 15th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
“Never follow the instructions of a monkey”?
Clearly a racist statement. When will you get over this hatred of Obama?
July 15th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
This should completely energize our sun destroying plan. If we can’t win, I’ll be damned if robot monkeys will.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
See this is why scientists should stick to investigating natural phenomena and let engineers build all technology.
SCIENTIST: I think it would be possible to wire a chip into this monkey’s brain that will allow it to control a robot with its mind!
ENGINEER: Why the hell would we do that?
SCIENTIST: Well, it would be a neat experiment.
ENGINEER: No one’s going to pay for that. No go away until you come up with a useful idea.
SCIENTIST: Awww…
July 15th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Ernie,
You just know some engineer is going to geek out about the prospect and we’ll be in the same soup. No, we need to let a panel of a Luddite, and Engineer and a Scientist decide. We’ll be back to Horse and Buggy by no time, the Internet will crumble and Fedzilla won’t be as corrupted by idiots with catchy slogans riling up the Hoi Polloi.
Civilization’s only hope, since hObama got elected is to crumble out from under us. Either Agrarian or Mad Max style civilization, we’ll whittle the useless away in mere months and return society to its regularly scheduled Republic.
Can we put an add up for a Luddite on Craigslist?
July 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
DesertElephant says: Civilization’s only hope, since hObama got elected is to crumble out from under us. Either Agrarian or Mad Max style civilization, we’ll whittle the useless away in mere months and return society to its regularly scheduled.
I’ll get working on my Mad Max Last of the V-8 Interceptors and be ready.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Somewhere out there, Scary Monkey is laughing his maniacal blue butt off.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
And so it begins: the first ambulatory predecessor of the T-1000’s has come into existence. If MS gets the bid for their OS, it’s just a matter of time. You think it’s just coincidence that this is announced just after the digital changeover?
I think not.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Meh. I’m not scared. I spank my monkey all the time. They are really quite docile once you teach them proper manners.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Wait. . . that didn’t come out right.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
From what I understand the EATR robots will also be able to eat regular food, which should be encouraged, along with proper table manners.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
“Get your filthy hands off me, you damned, dirty ape!”
“Hands? Why, we haven’t needed our hands for centuries. Kill it, TOBOR!”
July 16th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Alan
” If MS gets the bid for their OS, it’s just a matter of time”. Before they allfail due to error messages. We can only HOPE that MS does the software. With our luck they’ll farm it out to the subcontinent. Then we’ll all die uttering…”what did that guy just say?”