39 Comments

  1. The White House is getting ready for Thanksgiving by…

    … pardoning two turkeys this year, Biden and Gruber.

    … proclaiming that Thanksgiving was actually started by Muslims.

    … handing out candy corn.

    … planning more Treasury-looting vacations. To them, it’s just another day.

  2. . . . preparing a speech in which Obama will address the entire country, demanding that we all be thankful to him and for him.

    . . . preparing a great Danish dish which consists, appropriately enough, of great Danes.

  3. Giving away a free copy of “Punch Your Inner Hippie” to every guest.
    Harvesting all the kale in the WH garden for Michelle’s famous pumpkin and kale surprise.
    Issuing the secret service with blunderbuss firearms to keep in the spirit.
    Postponing dinner for 21 days because the turkey hasn’t finished its Ebola quarantine period.
    Issuing an executive order that allows Native Americans to stay in the country.
    Making fun of Canada for celebrating the holiday in October, eh.
    Looking for Bo, anybody seen Bo?

  4. …carving up the Constitution and serving us turkeys all the trimmings.

    …declaring Oct. 20 Mexican Independence Day.

    …adding some stuffing after our goose is cooked, for him everything from now on is just gravy.

    …sending all the Republicans, Libertarians and Tea Partiers with giblets to the ovens.

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