This was written by an IMAO regular and my friend Shane.
After about three semesters of college, I became convinced Computer Engineering was the wrong field for me, mainly because I was failing my basic engineering courses and getting high marks in 400 level English Literature classes as a Freshman and Sophomore. For a brief time (read “about 2 days”) I wondered if I shouldn’t change my degree to Journalism and become a reporter. Thankfully, that fever brokefeeling subsided and I came to my better senses. I earned a major in Religion with a minor in English.
Still, I have these moments, especially while watching (or more likely reading about) any press conference involving a politician, where I wish for one brief moment that I had scratched the journalism itch. I can’t help but think I could come up with much better questions to ask. Much more pertinent questions, grounded in the generally shared reality, rather than the substitutional reality shared by most major media reporter types.
Such a case came up this morning, while reading about Georgia IdiotRepresentative Cynthia McKinney. Given her history, and the apparent facts in the case, I’ve compiled a short list of questions that Journalist Me would have asked, given the chance.

– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? With over 500 members of Congress, do you really think Capital Hill Police should have to memorize every face and name of every Senator and Representative? With the mug on some of these crows, wouldn’t that constitute a hazardous work environment requiring each officer to receive hazard pay?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Is this current hairstyle the same one you sported on the day of the incident? If so, can you blame this officer for confusing you with Macy Gray? Buckwheat?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Documents have shown that you used tax payer money designated for office supplies to fly a celebrity up to Georgia for a building dedication. Does this mean Isaac Hayes is your own personal “Rubberband Man”? Or was this just a straight up booty call?
– Follow up to Mr. Hayes: As a kid, I used to love listening to the soundtrack to “Shaft” on the bus to school. Today, with your work on the South Park series, you’ve become popular again with the kids? Mr. Hayes, do you really believe that Trey Parker and Matt Stone are being directed by The Galactic Overlord Xenu to defame $cientology?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Did you realize that the man standing beside you is a whacked out cultist? If not, is it because your crazy hair gets in your crazy eyes?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Do you not think that if Martin Luther King, Jr. were alive today, he would slap you across the face?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Is it true you weren’t wearing your Congressional Identification Pin because you gave it to Danny Glover when you decided to “go steady”? And was Mr. Belafonte heartbroken when he got the news?
– Follow up for Mr. Glover: Sir, I loved the Lethal Weapon movies and I thought your work in “The Color Purple” was nothing short of Oscar worthy… But don’t you think standing here with Mrs. McKrazyKinney is going to set your career back even farther than that “Operation Dumbo Drop” dreck?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Is it true that Tupac is still alive?
– Mrs. McKrazyKinney? Do the constituents of your district actually approve of your “performances” or did they vote you back in because they simply enjoy playing cruel jokes on the rest of the country?
Yeah, so I’d be booted from the room before I could get the first question fully formed, but there you have it.
What question would you ask?