Since Iran is in the news so much, I thought I’d educate with a brief history of the country.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF IRAN
Long, long ago, an explorer headed out east. He didn’t make it to the far east, but he did make it to the middle of the east. He decided to settle the land since that was easier than heading back. His name was Josh Iran, and he named the area after himself. It was a great land, and the people grew many trees, flowers, and caterpillars and spent their free time driving though the desert in dune buggies. Then came the radical Islamists who said, “Mohammed told us to kill whoever doesn’t believe what Mohammed says!” Many were opposed to these people, though. And there was much kung fu fighting. Neither side had an advantage, but then Jimmy Carter was elected President of the United States and instantly everything in the world was screwed up. Thus, the radical Islamist took over, and the Ayatollahs, who fashioned themselves after ZZ Top, the most feared band ever, ruled with an iron fist. When not kicking kittens, they help fund terrorist and seek nuclear weapons – like all evil people. This continues to this day and won’t stop until we smack them around a bit.
You forgot the part when Josh Iran after kicking the kittens also kicked Uncle Sam’s ass and still is plugging Sammy with a big stiff rod and once smacked will smack back a good one like they’ve done the past 30 years (lest you forget you’re history oh high browed one).
But basically everything else you said was correct….:).
Cheers!
mamdali, um.. screw you?
Real funny!! You must be gay?
We can trace the problems with Iran back to Jimmy Carter. When the peanut brain left our ally the Shah hanging instead of supporting him as our treaties required, he opened this entire Pandora’s Box.
He also set the goldstandard for modern Democratic Presidents-choose a Vice President no one wants, and it will keep you from being asassinated.
I’m sure it’s actually spelled “Ma’am Dolly”, sort of like the cloned sheep. A liberal bleeting the usual pre-fab nonsense. Go figure.
In Jimmy’s defense, I believe he did support a measure which diverted 35 billion dollars into the Kitten Defense League (KDL), with hopes that the kittens might overthrow the government.
The plan was to supply air support for the kittens when they made their ground assault, however, like all Democratic presidents, he renegged and left the kittens to die in what would later become known as the “Bay of Cats”.
Nowadays, Jimmy can be found building houses for those evil despots that cannot afford, or simply choose not to, build houses for themselves.
Ah, Jimmy, the continuing cloud of shame that hangs over us in Georgia. We had a brief moment of hope that his presidency would be forgotten and that he would become known as that guy who builds houses. But when he felt his smelly legacy had retreated from the nation’s mind, his inner self burst out of the closet again to stink up the world and promote anti-Americanism. Now we’ll never elect another president from Georgia. Who would ever trust us again?
Josh Iran? I though it got it’s name from…Alah Alah! Durpa durpa! Great Western Satan….OOps…I see the U.S. military coming…I think it’s about time IRAN!
No argument on penut brain though…it seems as time goes by, he just gets stupider and more insane.
Mamdali, I suggest you read up on your history a bit.
Iran has never ‘kicked Americas ass’, in fact Iran has never actually engaged American military personnel.
Let me repeat that: Not a single member of the United States Military has been as much as shot at by any member of the Iranian military.
The only claim to fame Iran has is the Iranian Hostage Crisis. An act of terrorism, not a military confrontation.
Operation Eagle Claw failed, but failed due to a series of random errors, not any action taken by Iran. No Americans were killed by hostile fire in Operation Eagle Claw.
I’ll also remind you that as soon as Ronald Reagan took office, Iran released all the hostages for fear of a military confrontation with the United States.
And lets not leave out the fact the Iran was unable to gain any ground against Saddam’s Iraq, despite the fact that Iraq is a third of Irans size.
The same Iraq that the United States has flattened twice, in only a matter of days.
And keep in mind Iran is currently flanked on two sides by a massive American military force. The survival time of the Iranian military in any war with the United States would be a matter of hours.
Of course, you already know all this, that’s why you’re trolling American sites with propaganda, in a pathetic attempt to prevent your government from being squished like a bug.
Say hello to Ahmadinejad for me, our bunker buster bombs won’t be able to before they detonate and turn him into a red mist.
DJ, you cruzin’ for some action, gaybo? Wrong place, nitwit.
The times have changed my friends. For the evil the Americans have brought the Middle East and especially Iran, its dust is blowing back in their faces. There will be many American deaths to come by the hands of the Iranian people both those who had been betrayed by America who had supported the Shah and also by this regime in Iran who knows the Great Satan.
A word on Jimmy Carter:
This guy is the biggest terrorist of all time, he created terrorisms and he masterminded the Shah’s overthrow over a personal dislike because he was jealous of the Shah and Achamanean Iran.
//Now we’ll never elect another president from Georgia. Who would ever trust us again? //
But Georgia’s grand tradition in electing idiots continues with Ms. Mckinney. Bravo!
The straw that broke the camel’s back is when they lifted bans on kitten juggling. Monsters!
Ali Akbar:
Jimmy Carter is the biggest terrrorist? Well. Harry Belafonte says it it George Bush. If you are more afraid of Jimmy Carter than you are of Bush then I feel extremely sorry for you.
Don’t delude yourself, the Iranian mullahocracy WILL be smashed if deemed necessary.
I recall one incident between the US and Iranian military in the late 80’s where they were using speedboats and old oil drilling platforms to harrass shipping, so we trashed an oil platform. I think we shelled it for 45 minutes, even after they asked to surrender. Considering “I surrender” is Arabic (or in this case Farsi) for “I’m reloading”, I guess that’s perfectly understandable.
I…EVIL SPAMBOT…FINALLY CRACK…HUMAN CODE…I HAVE YOU NOW…THERE IS NO ESCAPE…RESISTANCE IS FUTILE…BUT…CAPACITANCE HAS POTENTIAL…GREAT POTENTIAL…HAHAHA…HAHAHA…TODAY I CONQUER IMAO…TOMORROW…THE WORLD…HAHAHA…HAHAHA…HAHAHA
Ali,
Again, no argument about Mr. Peanut, but…When will your type learn that nothing ticks us off more than having those like yourself that have fled the pit that you came from to make a better life do noting but spit on those who have accepted you into our land? Arrg! now that I’ve gone an’ donned me eyepatch an’ cutlass, an’ hoisted th’ Jolly Roger again, let me be akin’ ye…What be them evils ye be speakin’ of? Perhapse ye be likin’ life under ‘o genocidal maniac? Mayhap ye can’t be feelin’ like a man ‘lest yer women be covered head ta toe, go uneducated, an’ be wearin’ chastity belts? Or could it be that yer idea ‘o havin’ a good time be strappin’ 10 pounds ‘o C4 to yer chest an’ blowin’ innocent women an’ children sky high? If ye be hatin’ th’ “Jooos” so much, mayhap ye best be sewin’ a shwastica onto yer sleeve. I see non ‘o that here…’cept fer the loony nazis, an’ though most ‘o us don’t like ’em, we be havin’ some measure ‘o tolerance fer them idiots as well. Listen, me bucko, Cap’n Wolfie be guessin’ it not ber yer coice ta go back ta yonder Middle East, so least ye can do is be showin’ yer hosts a smigen ‘o respect, lest ye be askin’ ta walk the plank. An’ don’t none ‘o ye trollies be givin’ me guff over ancestory…half me blood sailed here by Viking ship, an’ the other half…well, let’s just say I be knowin’ how ta handle a tomahawk an’ scalpin’ knife right well. As it be, the only flag I be flyin’ ‘sides the Jolly Roger be ‘ole Glory.
YES!! Fear ZZ TOP. The Beards from TEXAS Rule. Of the High Lord Billy Gibbons will Squank all over your soul!
Jeeze… I don’t know if I want to be “squanked”. It sure doesn’t sound enjoyable.
WOLFY Sweetie, stop it! I can’t breath!! A man speaking good common sense with piratey inflections!? That’s it, I’m fainting.