SPRINGFIELD (AP) – While there’s been a lot of concern about, and much government money thrown at, the Housing market, recent data suggests that the Senating market may be just as bad, if not worse.
Former Illinois Senator turned President-Elect Barack Obama knows this as well as anyone. “I spent almost $10 million on my Senate seat in 2004, fully expecting the value to rise,” he said. “But since the Senating bubble burst last year, it’s not even worth 10% of that. It’s so bad, I didn’t even try to get anything for it. I just cut my losses and walked away. I hope I make more in the Presidenting market.”
The Obama Senate seat, now empty and abandoned, ended up in the hands of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who paid approximately squat for the controlling rights in the vacated position. A Senating market neophyte, he’d paid scant attention to pricing trends over the last year, simply assuming that a Senate seat must be “a @#$%ing valuable thing”, just as it always had been in the past.
Sadly, the Governor was mistaken.
“I was getting offers of maybe 100, 200 Grand,” said Blagojevich. “That’s @#$%ing bull@#$%! Yeah, I didn’t actually pay anything for it, but still, I know damn well it’s @#$%ing golden, and I’m just not giving it up for @#$%ing nothing. I’m not gonna do it!”
Still, Blagojevich tries to maintain his optimism. “Even if I can’t unload it this year, I might be able to trade it for something valuable next year, since I’ll probably be living in Federally funded housing by then. Maybe I can get a pack of smokes, some Pruno, or at least a decent shiv for it.”
Senator Hillary Clinton, another victim of the Senating crisis, was sympathetic to the Governor’s plight. “I’ve been holding my Senate seat for six long years, and I’ve got nothing to show for it. At this point, I’d even go to work as a Secretary if it got me out of here.”