Because Pledging Is Easier Than Just Shutting Up And Doing Something

Posted by on

Have you seen the celebrity “I Pledge” video, wherein narcissistic Hollywoodians swear eternal fealty to That One?

Before you hit play, I gotta warn you – get the kids out of the room because you WILL end up swearing at your monitor.

On the other hand, I’d kinda hate missing out on the opportunity to BE THE CHANGE, so maybe I should just go ahead and moo along with the rest of the pledge-cattle:

I PLEDGE…

… to let my car idle for 15 minutes every morning before leaving for work. Gas is cheap and Wisconsin is cold.

… to feed plastic grocery bags to dolphins to cleanse the global gene pool of the ones dumb enough to eat them.

… to wonder… who the hell ARE those people in that video? Seriously, I don’t think I recognized anyone except for that guy who played Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight and maybe some whore from Desperate Housewives. So maybe I’m WAY out of the pop culture loop, but then again, maybe these morons are only famous in their own heads.

… to pat myself on the back for being miles ahead of curve on giving up bottled water, because I never joined that cult in the first place. Seriously, who’d be dumb enough to pay two bucks for a pint of water when it’s damn near free from the tap? There’s a REASON Sir James Dewar invented the Thermos, you know.

… to starve my socialist government of tax revenue by buying Black Market whenever possible. By the way, did you ever notice that “Black Market” is actually just a disgruntled authoritarian government dysphemism for “Free Market”?

… to let the world know that Obama’s head-and-bucket issues have been plaguing him since childhood.

… to accept political defeat without petty acrimony. Unlike some people, I will never use the phrase “he’s not my president”. I will ALWAYS refer to Obama as “my president”, as in “My president is Louise, America is Thelma. Here comes the cliff”.

Anything YOU want to pledge?

105 Comments

  1. I Pledge to point out that celebrity pricks pledging to be good citizens only when they win is not good citizenship or patriotic.

    I Pledge to fight communism and lefist drivel at every turn.

    I Pledge to believe that taxes are evil.

    I Pledge to believe that government IS the problem.

    I Pledge to think for myself and not to listen to the MSM

    I Pledge to never watch MSNBC again…EVER!

    I Pledge to never listen to or follow anyone who shilled for John McCain in the last election.

    I Pledge to kick in the balls and RINO that I ever meet personally.

    Reply to this comment

  2. I Pledge to not care about anything celebrities do outside of acting, just like I don’t care what the kid at the McDonalds drive through does after he hands me my burgers and fries.

    I Pledge that when the wife and I move from New York to Arizona next month, to buy enough firearms to get on some sort of ATF watchlist.

    I Pledge to keep punching hippies wherever they are found

    I Pledge, when things are way worse next year, to remind people that they could have had Fred Thompson as President.

    I Pledge to try to come up with some more and better pledges once it is not 7:30 on a Sunday morning.

    Reply to this comment

  5. “I Pledge, when things are way worse next year, to remind people that they could have had Fred Thompson as President.”

    THAT’S THE ONE! You guys are freaking hilarious – loving it!

    Reply to this comment

  6. ***(c) 2009 Harpo Productions***

    Is that their cute, ironic way of pointing out that most of these people are borderline Marxist?

    And Harvey, you’d probably recognize a lot of the names, even if you couldn’t recognize them by the brief snippets. I saw Cameron Diaz, Courtney Cox Arquette and David Arquette, Michael Strahan (former NY Giants defensive lineman), Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Jaime Presley (“Joy” on My Name Is Earl), and several other people I recognize, but can’t place the names with in those brief snippets.

    One other thing: with Obama winning the presidency, these people are finally pledging to give up plastic bags, only “flushing after a deuce,” etc. Is that why they blame Bush for destroying the planet? Not for anything he did, just for not being inspiring enough to celebritards to make them give up their own destructive habits?

    Reply to this comment

  7. I pledge to totally ignore the fact that these celebrities were reading off a script and probably won’t actually do what they’re saying they will.

    Be a servant to their president? Holy cow.

    I thought that this was ridiculous, up to where I saw Harvey Dent. I believe in Harvey Dent.

    Reply to this comment

  12. I PLEDGE to display as much respect and loyalty to Barry O as the overly-vocal Left showed George W for 7.9 years…

    and I PLEDGE to eat red meat, wear fur, drive my pickup truck as much as possible (loaded with several firearms, of course), and to never use the phrase “Be the Change”.

    I also PLEDGE to hold the door open for women, say “Sir” and “Ma’am”, stop for funeral processions, stand at attention when the Star Spangled Banner is played, respect our men and women in uniform, and actually work for a f*&*ing living…some things should never change!

    Grousie

    Reply to this comment

  13. There’s a REASON Sir James Dewar invented the Thermos, you know.

    Is the reason so that the folks in the video can wonder how a Thermos knows whether to keep something cold or keep something hot?

    Reply to this comment

  14. C’mon. Really? Do we actually WANT those Hollywood types in the video to get off their duffs and do anything?

    As long as they are sitting in front of the camera, acting like they’re doing something (they are actors, after all) instead of actually doing anything, they won’t … well … do anything. ‘Cause if they did something, it would be wrong.

    If these assclowns could actually do anything useful, they’d have become Ronald Reagan.

    Reply to this comment

  15. I pledge to cover my ears with my hands and go”nanananananananananananananana” whenever hollywood marxists open their fat mouths and say something insipid, pretending like they care and lying about actually doind something meaningful.

    Reply to this comment

  18. I pledge to start my own wiretapping program if the NSA’s is ever cancelled by B. Hussein. Only for the noble purpose of ensuring national security, of course. Heh, heh, heh.

    I pledge to punch more hippies… while wearing gloves to avoid contaminating my hands.

    I pledge to drink milk, regardless of whether B. Hussein wants to allow me to do so. (If I was wearing a hat, I’d tip it to Two Dogs for pointing that out.)

    I pledge to check IMAO every day so I can read stuff as great as this!

    Reply to this comment

  19. I pledge to stop arguing with my relatives and associates over the false messiah, Barry.

    When they’re being herded into the railcars by the new Civilian Youth Corps, (remember, as much taxpayer $$$ as the Military receives), perhaps they’ll ponder whether or not it was a good idea voting this megalomaniac sock puppet into power.

    And I said I would try to be more positive thinking…YES, WE CA….!!!!

    Never mind.

    Reply to this comment

  20. I pledge not to read newspapers but to recycle them as CO2 into atmosphere via my wood stove.

    I pledge to quickly ‘hit the clicker’ anytime Obama’s face or voice is on TV.

    I pledge to live more independently from all levels of government with each passing year.

    I pledge never to collect Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare or Unemployment Compensation. “Never have, never will.”

    I pledge to bad-mouth our public school system until I get hit by an asteroid.

    I pledge to hate our government until I kick off.

    Reply to this comment

  23. I pledge…

    -To get a solid job and excellent education, so I can become one of the evil rich conservatives, and be a good member of society.
    -To learn how to shoot a gun.
    -To never join the collective

    Reply to this comment

  24. I pledge to not change my lifestyle at all based on anything Hollywood celebrities say.

    I pledge to not change my lifestyle at all due to anything the morons in Washington do (other than stocking up on guns and ammo).

    I pledge to remind anyone who complains that democrats are in charge, and thus everything is their fault.

    I pledge to vocally oppose all socialist policies decreed by that one.

    I pledge to ridicule anyone who starts blathering about global warming.

    I pledge to work my butt off to get some real conservatives elected in 2010, starting by throwing our @^$(*&ing democrat senator out on his kiester.

    Reply to this comment

  26. “I pledge to undo all the damage I intentionally inflicted on the planet for the past 8 years so my lord and savior, Barak Obama, can take credit for making the world a better place”

    “I pledge to free one million people from slavery in the next 5 years, conveniently forgetting George Bush freed 50 million people from slavery and oppression in 8 years -YAY ME!”

    -Hollywood Assholes

    Reply to this comment

  30. Harvey,

    Since I am also from Wisconsin (Janesville), I pledge to keep my engine oil heater plugged in all night and to idle my truck for 20 minutes before driving off.

    I pledge to always envision Governor Doyle wearing Blago’s ‘do’.

    I pledge to save all my plastic six pack rings and throw them into any ocean that I may visit.

    Reply to this comment

  33. I wonder if these Idiots realize that the members of the Service Workers union are the same Folks that spit in their food when they complain about the way it’s prepared. “Of course i’d be glad to redo it.”

    Reply to this comment

  34. I pledge that I will continue to cling to my faith, my freedom and my God.

    I pledge to exercise my ability and willingness to engage in O’vomit derangement syndrome at any hour of that day or night for as long as the messiah is in office and for as long as he stays in politics.

    I pledge to teach my children and grandchildren correct principles and then allow them to chose for themselves.

    I pledge to bait every troll I come across, to irritate every left wing loony and be a pain in the butt to any and all O’vomitites now and forever.

    Reply to this comment

  36. I pledge to do my damndest to do nothing to put money into the pockets of the celebretards who participated in this video and to encourage others to do so as well.

    I pledge to be a bitter clinger, yet gracious in defeat until a time when me and mines are no longer defeated.

    I pledge to spend at least an hour a day in combat mind meditation.

    I pledge to listen to ‘Won’t get fooled again’ by The Who until We the People wake the @#$% up.

    Reply to this comment

  37. I pledge to ressist the Obamessiah’s Socialist programs at every possible opportunity.

    I pledge to ridicule and humiliate Obamtrons insipid devotion to him whenever possible.

    I pledge to crush the FBI’s NIC firearms purchasing system by flooding it with my arms buying.

    I pledge to continue to harvest and enjoy as many tasty animals and wear their hides in front of Libtards as possible.

    I pledge to drive the most blatantly carbon producing 4WD vehicle possible.

    I pledge to bitch slap any Libtard who objects.

    Reply to this comment

  38. I pledge to drop a note to the IRS on April 15th letting them know I am officially invoking the Geithner Rule & thus they need not expect any payments from me.

    Of course I will be using someone else’s social security number. I live near a sanctuary city so those are easy to come by.

    Reply to this comment

  40. I pledge to remind everyone I talk to that acting is only playing “make pretend,” like we did when we were five, and not a real job or talent. And so, if acting’s the only thing you’re qualified to do you must be a moron.

    Reply to this comment

  41. I pledge to enjoy some nice spotted owl burgers while spraying aresol cans into the air.

    I pledge to start building doomsday devices, shave my head, and get a lab coat so lefties will finally have a justifiable reason for portraying conservatives as world destroying supervillains.

    I pledge to kick Stephen King’s ass for the ending of It. (Not related but I’m still pissed about that).

    I pledge to only watch MSNBC while shooting the talking heads with a nerf gun and relentlessly mocking the hippies.

    I pledge to eat more red meat and never use anything ever than plastic bags.

    I pledge to stop wasting my time by bothering to sort my recycling when the truth is it doesn’t have any measurable impact on anything.

    Reply to this comment

  43. I pledge to click the channel whenever a dickhead celebrity comes on to talk to me about saving the planet. Or if there is any reference to saving the planet!

    I pledge to not watch any news conferences by any member of the current RINO leadership of congress.

    I pledge to not listen to any radio personality who shilled for John McCain during the last election.

    I pledge to not send a dime to the RNC, EVER AGAIN unless they expel their current leaders and become conservative again.

    Reply to this comment

  44. I pledge to get a good job so that I don’t have time to do community service.

    I pledge to buy a gun.

    (ps- #25Tony- that was the chick from Heroes. Not Chuck. If I’m thinking of the same one. I watched it twice to make sure.)

    Reply to this comment

  47. Brandon says:
    January 25th, 2009 at 9:17 am

    Yea, no doubt. Liberals never want to do anything themselves, they want others to do it. I have some liberal friends who were real geeked up about Obama’s public service programs (Hitler Youth), and so I asked them what were they thinking of contributing. They laughed and said “what me??”

    They think, just like the Dem politics, that they are above everyone else.

    Reply to this comment

  48. I pledge to treat President Obama with the same level dignity and respect that these “celebrities” afforded President George W. Bush.

    I pledge to continue to hunt animals in the forest and dine on their butchered remains.

    I pledge to get a CCW before that right is taken away from us.

    I pledge to listen to Rush and Fox News more often and continue to completely ignore CNN, MSNBC, NPR, ABC, NBC and CBS.

    I pledge to remind all Obama supporters that it is NOT President Bush’s fault when the Savior Obama’s economic policies fail.

    Reply to this comment

  49. I Pledge not to watch any more drivel from Harpo productions.

    I Pledge to continue the volunteering and giving that I have been doing for decades,
    because my generosity is ,was ,and never will be based upon which party leads the government.

    Reply to this comment

  51. I pledge to own not only a handgun, but a whole arsenal of various weapons.

    I pledge to eat more red meat.

    I pledge to join the NRA.

    I pledge to contribute more to the Conservative Underground. (WOLVERINES!)

    I pledge to become a Ronin, roaming the American countryside kicking the arses of hippies, RINOS, celebertards, Chinese invaders, and Massachusetts.

    Reply to this comment

  55. My pledge is to celebrate diversity, never buy the same gun (model) twice (maybe). I will pledge what a presently give to Public TV and give it to the NRA instead, cut down the big trees and plant 100 smaller ones (my choice), spoil my bird dog, (no table scraps), fart in Charlie Sheen’s et. al. general direction, and most importantly, spend time with whose in my life who matter. Lately, they have been leaving this world quite quickly. Have all the best.

    Reply to this comment

  58. Honestly, I reconized Ashton Kutcher and Joy from “My name is Earl”. I thought I saw Ami Pohler, but I may have been seeing things. Also, the black guy in the Obama T-shirt sounded like Chris Rock.

    It’s funny that even you’re standard leftist celebrities, Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin, Kanye West, etc etc etc, aren’t touching this video.

    Also, small sidenote to people using Wolverines as a conservative icon
    When is became pretty clear he was going to lose this war, Hitler established Guerilla warfare cells in Germany that would fight the allies during the occupation. These cells were called Wolverines. They also never got any weapons so they never were able to fight, which is why nobody really knows about them.
    I say this not to be spiteful, but if I was a liberal, I’d think that was pretty damn funny

    Reply to this comment

  59. Morons. If you sell your car for a hybrid you don’t reduce “pollution.” You simply let someone else drive your gas guzzler while you add another less “polluting” car to the roads.

    Also, did anyone notice Alissa Milano (I think) slipped in a pro life message there: “I pledge to be a voice for those who have no voice.” Ha ha! Obama would not be pleased.

    Reply to this comment

  60. I’m still waiting for all their pledges to leave the country after Bush won in 2000 and again in 2004.

    Btw, did anyone notice that guy say, “I pledge to be an American, and not an African America”? That seems out of place in this lefty parade.

    Reply to this comment

  61. I pledge to remind people that while Bush freed 50 million Iraqis from Saddam Hussein, B. Hussein Obama has only freed 250 terrorists from Gitmo.

    I pledge to remind hippies that “dissent is the highest form of patriotism” or whatever other bullcrap they were spouting just a couple of months ago. I’m speaking truth to power (shouldn’t voltage and amps be in there somewhere?)

    I pledge to teach my kids #1 – always assume the gun is loaded, #2 – never point the gun at anything you don’t want dead, #3 – never put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to shoot, #4 – be able to defend yourself, don’t rely on anyone else to do it for you (except me).

    I pledge to wear either my Fred Thompson T-shirt or my “These Colors Don’t Run” T-shirt to make my fellow Swamp Heathens smile.

    Reply to this comment

  62. I pledge to always double tap when discharging a firearm.

    I pledge to punch hippies, be they foreign or domestic.

    I pledge to form a protest group and march on the White House in order to raise awareness of BHO’s war o’ terror on the American small business owner. (I wont actually be able to do this one as I work for a living, unlike my counterparts on the left. Goddamn hippies.)

    I pledge to pee on every car I see with a BHO bumper sticker.

    I pledge to…. you know what? Frak the stupid pledges. Frak the left. And Frak the weak minded morons that seem to be hell bent on our ruination as a nation. The way things are going we may as well just hang out and wait for the apocalypse.

    I hear there will be some mighty good looting during the apocalypse…….. maybe I’ll get me a nice sweater.

    Reply to this comment

  63. someone mentioned the term ‘ ‘ Wolverines ” having an uncle that served in ww2 I asked him about what if any resistence was made oafter ww2 in germany. He said that was a great question, there was fairy large group, and the army had a
    special unit ( fairly large and mobile) that crushed them with no mercey. the unit never seemed to have any captured POW’s.

    one wonders if the germans would still be fighting us if the powers in charge did not say, “stop all resistence, now”
    any place you can thinkof today with this problem?

    Reply to this comment

  64. I pledge to make my accountant get more aggressive to find every tax dodge possible for my Sub Chapter S Corporation
    I pledge to give any money I avoid sending to Washington to charity
    I pledge to not care what John McCain thinks, ever
    I pledge to not care what Lindsay Grahm thinks, ever
    I pledge to punch the first person who says to me “aren’t things wonderful now that Barack is POTUS?

    Reply to this comment

  65. I pledge to stop watching teevee.

    Anybody see the picture of all those ACORN protestors marching in Ohio demanding “MOAR!!!” (can’t be food, most of them are over 200 pounds).

    Last night on PBS was a panel of (you know) who were snarling that there wasn’t enough of
    medical benefits being handed out (it’s always “for the children”).

    You can’t swing a cat in this state without hitting some sluggard who has their hand out demanding to be accomodated by taxpayers. Could they get away with that where they came from? Can I move to that country and shout in the street that I want to be fed, housed, clothed, medicated and educated on someone else’s dime?

    No? What’s that you said? “Permanent Democrat Majority?”

    Like I used to ask one of my computer geek children to interpret what the salesman just said: “Is that good?”

    I pledge to stop watching teevee.

    Reply to this comment

  66. Gimme a break!

    Like any of these Hollywood Celebs have EVER had to put gas in their own car, drive their own car, put their groceries in a shopping bag… C’mon! It should be “I pledge to tell my illegal immigrant workers, that I don’t even know their names, to sell the car they live in and start living in a hybrid or I pledge to be a cardboard cutout publicity whore like Barack Obama. At least it would be realistic!

    Reply to this comment

  68. I pledge to honour the memory of the Dewar family, who gave us, besides the thermos:

    Smokeless gunpowder
    Really good blended whiskey
    The Dewar Cup for excellence in marksmanship
    The Twinkie

    And thus, as saith Plato, do I refute Thrasymachus.

    Reply to this comment

  69. I pledge to keep Zantac handy when watching celebrity videos.
    I pledge to oppose candidates, of any party, who espouse so much as a single issue not granted under the enumerated powers.
    I pledge to replace myself with two new conservatives before I die.
    I pledge eternal animus to all socialists.
    I pledge to buy reloading equipment and recycle spent brass.
    I pledge never to draw ridiculous pictures on my own body.
    I pledge to start a fundraiser to buy the Kucher kid a razor.

    Oh, yeah.

    I pledge to find out who these celebrities are so I can avoid enriching them in any way.

    Reply to this comment

  70. I pledge to own an arsenal so awesome that I get cesnured by the United Nations.
    I pledge to get Orrin Hatch kicked out of the senate by the most painful and humiliating means possible. We got rid of Chris Cannon and the Hatchster is next.
    I pledge to learn how to do a Chuck Norris-inspired roundhouse kick.
    I pledge to burn down half a national forest to help offset any carbon credits these twerps may have purchased.
    I pledge to make my own carbon footprint larger than the state of North Dakota.
    I pledge to find Waldo.
    I pledge to carry a loaded, concealed firearm everywhere I go – even in a public school. (Legal here in Utah – hooray for freedom!!!)
    I pledge to teach my kids that the world owes them nothing and anyone who tells them different should be taunted like in that Holy Grail movie.

    Reply to this comment

  71. Ioan Gruffud was on there…broke my heart. I used to really like his acting.

    I pledge to respect the office, not person, of the President.
    I pledge to continue loving America in hopes that we can still recover four years from now.
    I pledge to buy a gun as soon as I’m able.
    I pledge to ridicule any racist liberal baby-killer that happens to even speak about Right to Choose, Affirmative Action, and “My Barack.”

    Reply to this comment

  72. Wow! I see what I miss when I go awol from IMAO for too long…

    I pledge to continue my general boycott of the idiot box, movies, and anything else related to the 98% percent of Hollywoobama that can’t fellate each Liberal “leader” fast enough. This has included me dropping my yellow card status with IATSE 5 years ago & never looking back.

    I pledge to do what 99% of Liberals won’t do: educate myself, use critical thinking, and encourage other poor people like most of us have been at one time or another that poverty is a temporary condition, unless you’re just too f**king stupid to do something.

    I pledge to encourage others to read conservative & Libertarian authors that really do their homework, such as:
    Larry Elder
    David Horowitz
    Neil Boortz
    Thomas Sowell
    and, of course, Ann Coulter, as well as many, many others that don’t get mentioned nearly enough by the MSM, of whom I also pledge to expose as frauds as often as I can.

    I pledge to harass my local institutions of higher learning to give the boot to professors who spew leftist agendas instead of scholarly instruction. I will remind them each chance I get that incompetence should not be rewarded with tenure; like other “leaders”, their positions should be reviewed & based on their performance, not their radical nonsense.

    I could keep this up all damn day.

    Reply to this comment

  73. I pledge to never work for Harpo Productions regardless of how much hot sex it would entitle me to for the rest of my life.
    (Yes, a recruiter put my resume in at their IT department a couple years ago, and yes, I mentioned that as a plus though in more polite and accurate/less funny terms).

    I fulfulled my pledge to apply for a firearm card on Innauguration Day as my way of saying how I felt about that day.

    I pledge to be more devoted to doing my homework on why liberals are wrong, and be able to quote facts chapter and verse from memory whenever I cross paths with some other Idiocracy walk-on.

    I pledge to pay as little in taxes as is legal and do as little for the economy as possible so that a certain person of interest does not get credit for what I do, nor can he use the money I make for purposes I oppose.

    I pledge to give to Christian charities that actually help poor children rather than UNICEF, which is mostly stolen by UN and third world kleptocrats.

    I pledge to do what is possible for my church to bring the real light into the world so that people stop worshiping a dim bulb.

    Reply to this comment

  74. I pledge allegiance to the United States of America and to the Republic … Oh wait…started doing that 40 years ago.

    And just so it’s clear to the nutcases on the left, I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America which is not to be confused with the current idiot Liberal Socialist President of the United States.

    Reply to this comment

  75. I pledge to scratch it if it itches.

    I pledge to reduce the CO2 output of squirrels by decreasing the squirrel to pellet gun ratio.

    I pledge to remain smoke free (since Jan 1st) and not give the damned government a dime more of my tax dollars than is absolutely necessary.

    I pledge to get in shape. (round IS a shape!)

    I pledge, at every turn, to remind my liberal friends that they get what they paid for and to stop their whining. Conservatives are in charge of NOTHING so let the feeding frenzy begin… the Dems eat their own.

    Reply to this comment

  76. You know, I didn’t even watch that damn video until just now.

    It’s telling that being a good parent was near the end of that weepy envirotarded video. To be fair, I don’t disagree with some of the crap on their happy little feel-good list, but the drivel about Obambi was played out a year ago. Honestly, that kind of blind fealty was old when Clinton was the object of their oral accolades.

    I see that Ashton Kucher (whom I pledge to kick in the c*nt next time he’s in ABQ) wasn’t the only douche on the vid: Who was that joke that was kissing his “biceps” after invoking The Halfrican’s name? That was just funny.

    Reply to this comment

  77. What I want to know is how are all these celebrities going to talk their parole officers into letting them out of rehab to fulfill their pledges?
    Between group therapy, family therapy, couples therapy, court hearings…do they really have time?

    OH!

    I pledge…
    to proudly carry my firearm wherever I go and hope for a good target.
    to obnoxiously point at any liberal and shout “IT’S YOUR FAULT! I DIDN’T VOTE FOR HIM” when the stuff hits the fan.
    to wear a different fur coat every day of the week.
    to serve God, family, and country and NO ONE else.
    to fight for our Constitutional rights when they end up on the chopping block within the next four years.
    to help my husband purchase such a butt kicking arsenol of weapons that we get censured by the United Nations. (YES cptnmoroni is my man and I am proud of him)
    to start my car at 6 am and keep it running until i go to bed at night, you never know when you have to leave in a hurry and you don’t want to get in a cold car.
    to refuse to by hybrid cars and give the finger to anyone who says what I “should” be doing for the environment.

    Reply to this comment

  78. I pledge to clean my guns for the next 4 years (It will take that long)
    I pledge to never allow any of the trucks, generators, oil drums or wood stoves turn off by running out of fuel.
    I pledge never to be a servant of my government, or some dumb sob that thinks he is entitled to rule.
    I pledge to always look to see what is behind the target.
    I pledge to leave my animal carcasses and guts on the stoop of the democratic party’s headquarters.
    I pledge to never mount a hippies head (They are like carp, just throw them away).

    I pledge to shake the hand of at least 1 vetran a week.

    Reply to this comment

  79. I pledge to keep praying and reading my Bible.

    I pledge to teach my wife children the importance of maintaining a tight grouping on the firing range

    I pledge to teach my wife and children the importance of CQB techniques should they run out of ammo.

    I pledge to be a sheep dog to keep the sheep safe from the wolves.

    Reply to this comment

  80. Wow…I finally watched most of that video (couldn’t stand to ruin my weekend) I actually found my self laughing because it was so effing stupid that it sounded like satire. What a bunch of idiots.

    And yes, I started cussing at the “freeing 1 million people from slavery remark”. Glad the kids were in teh other room.

    Reply to this comment

  81. I pledge to buy as much .223 as I can lay my hands on.

    I pledge to carry home my groceries in Styrofoam boxes that I will burn when they are empty.

    I pledge to laugh in the face of whiny leftist twerps when they tell me how green they are.

    I pledge to elect a TRUE CONSERVATIVE in 2012!!

    Reply to this comment

  83. Come on guys, grow up!!!! Tell me one thing that these celebrities are saying that is all that bad. I mean helping out the poor and elderly, helping to eradicate slavery throughout the word and improving education… wow these things are horrible!! Who the hell wants people to live meaningful lives free from the overbearing sources of obstacles and inequality that impede happiness for so many in this country and around the word.
    There is a point where the loyal opposition (that’s us conservatives) fails to serve a productive purpose. This has surfaced in conservative radio talk shows and conservative internet sites . There is a very necessary and respectful place for disagreement and healthy, and sometimes unhealthy, debate and I hope it never ceases regardless of who’s in the white house. But when any attempt at bipartisanship is viewed as weakness by those on the fringes of the political and social spectra, our purpose ceases to be productive. It seems that many of us disagree with Obama and others on left solely for the sake of disagreeing. Let’s all grow up. Conservatives lost the election… stop pouting and crying and grow up!

    Reply to this comment

  85. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of AMERICA, and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under GOD, INDIVISIBLE, with liberty and justice for ALL.

    Forever and ever…AMEN!!!!

    Reply to this comment

  86. I pledge to get as many shooters to the range as possible.

    I pledge to teach as many rifle owners as I can to become Riflemen.

    I pledge to teach American Revolutionary War History to everyone who will listen, particularly the story of April 19, 1775, when the English attempted to confiscate Colonial powder and weapons.

    I pledge to fight for the complete Bill of Rights and not just the 2A.

    So help me God.

    Reply to this comment

  88. I pledge to save the polar bear from a slow death due to global warming by hunting them into extinction, eating as much of their flesh as I can, and feeding the rest to baby harp seals…which I will then hunt to extinction.

    Reply to this comment

  90. None of this would be funny save for the fact that you have people on the video like Cameron Diaz pledging to smile at her neighbors more. Where Cameron? In the Hollywood Hills? No hunny, those aren’t your neighbors, that’s the paparazzi…

    Reply to this comment

  91. I pledge to use aerosol can propellant as fuel in my new hybrid car. *That oughtta burn…*

    I pledge to eat baby seal, manatee, dolphin, and polar bear at least weekly.

    I pledge to go hunting with Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney…and not bunk with DC. Never bunk with Dick. HEH HEH.

    I pledge to watch only bootleg movies and to never watch another celebtard award show, (they PRETEND for a living, people!).

    I pledge to frequently point out that MLK, Jr. was a conservative visionary and an activist for EQUALITY, not for the advancement of blacks EXCLUSIVELY.

    I pledge to use Pledge. It’s lemony.

    Reply to this comment

  93. #83 – NunyaB,
    Add mung beans to your chili – Fart proudly.
    NASA tested to be higher in gas production than any other legume. (When you put 3 test pilots in a small capsule for a week, that sort of thing is important to know when making dietary choices.)

    Reply to this comment

  94. I pledge to give to charities that give help and give guidance to troubled youth. Because, apparently, when the next Republican president gets into office, these people are going to stop being good parents.

    Reply to this comment

  95. I pledge the antiques the day after I oil them so they don’t dry out and get dusty …
    I pledge to support a capitalist meritocracy
    I pledge to uphold the United States Constitution and use The Federalist Papers as my sole source for interpretation
    I pledge to help take care of friends, family, and neighbors- not because the government tells me to, but because I care about them
    I pledge to take a nap when I get off work

    Reply to this comment

  96. Response to #’s 58 and 63: They weren’t called “Wolverines,” they were called “Werewolves” (Wehrwulfen), and were more a last-ditch propaganda attempt when the Third Reich fell apart. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werwolf for details. I’ve read other reports (VPERL, your uncle isn’t the only one who said this) that there was more substantial resistance, but that there were “shoot on sight” and “don’t bother bringing in prisoners” orders issued to the security teams (who were VERY heavily armed), and that as soon as it became apparent that there would be no support from the population, the resistors just gave up and decided to get real lives.

    It’s not as much fun when you and your buddies are being put down like rabid dogs and nobody cares.

    Resistance in the Pacific theater was much worse – they were still rounding up Imperial Japanese soldiers from random islands until the 1960s. I seem to remember a report from the late ’60s or early ’70s of some 60 or 70 year old wearing a tattered uniform and waving a Rising Sun flag under a white flag of surrender stumbling out of the jungle somewhere in Indonesia where he’d been hiding for 30 years. But for the first 10 years or so, there was still bloody fighting from little pockets of resistance all over the Pacific islands.

    Reply to this comment

  97. I pledge to remember not to eat Polar Bear liver when offered by my fellow carnivores, but instead to extract the toxic levels of vitamin A, combine it with plenty of rain-forest sawdust fillers and sell the resulting safely diluted tablets as a natural health supplement in Hollywood boutique stores to the Botox and Birkenstock crowd.

    Reply to this comment

  99. This may or may not be related to the werewolf thing, but I seem to recall that anyone from the SS who was given orders to shoot Allied agents on sight were singled out. Special forces teams grabbed these people, took them into the woods, read them Hitler’s orders on what they were to do, asked them if they understood those orders, and then shot them immediately.

    Reply to this comment

  102. …I Pledge: to marry another celebrity that’s literally twice my age, just to further both of our careers. (I’m looking at you, Ashton and Demi)

    …I Pledge: to continue playing hate-filled and obnoxious characters on TV, while preaching love and togetherness when the cameras are off. (I’m looking at you, lady-from-My-Name-Is-Earl-and-DOA and Puff)

    …I Pledge: to sound like I’m a nice guy, but carry around enough ammo to make Rambo jealous. And to continue to objectify women, both in music videos and off-stage. (Puff, you know the drill.)

    …I Pledge: to turn off all the lights in my 20 mansions, and assume that you little people can remember to do so in your little run-down hut. (Puff, you’re just a freakin’ idiot, and an easy target.)

    …I Pledge: to end slavery, but ignore the blight brought upon those who aren’t considered a minority, either through Affirmative Action or social malice.

    …I Pledge: to forget all my pledges at the next available opportunity.

    …I Pledge: to be so blinded by partisanship that I couldn’t possibly have made this pledge if a Republican was in office.

    …I Pledge: to be completely unique and different by being a total tool and parroting what everyone else is, in hopes of following the current trend.

    …I Pledge: to remain completely isolated from reality and from the public that, ultimately, pays my salary.

    …I Pledge: to remember that the world is nice and wonderful, and all people are good….unless they’re not a member of my political affiliation. And then, I Pledge: to remember it’s their fault I’m so hate-filled, not mine.

    …I Pledge: to try to bring cures to diseases, even though I hold no medical degrees. Heck, I barely squeeked past high school. But I Pledge: not to let reality deny me my God-complex.

    …I Pledge: to trade in my dorky but fuel-efficient car for a Hybrid, which will drastically damage the environment, not just in the short few years that I own said car, but for generations to come. And I Pledge: to do this, because a fashion statement is more important than my kids.

    …I Pledge: to use my words the same way I use my body: to whore it out the highest bidder. The Democratic party, in this case.

    …I Pledge: to give a voice to those who don’t have one, unless I disagree with the politics of those silent ones.

    …I Pledge: to have a career in the next few months. …Weeks? …Okay, maybe a day or so. If I’m lucky.

    I think that about sums it up. I think I could go on and on…but, wow, those celebs really are idiots.

    Reply to this comment

  104. I pledge to recommend that you all watch the ‘SpongeBob Movie’…..to see the ‘bucket heads’….strong resemblence to the ‘celebrity’ robot-brains in this pledge add! Puts it all in perspective!

    Reply to this comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.