In My World: Welcome the New

“I think I’ve been a pretty good president,” Former President Bush said.

“I don’t know where you’d get that impression,” Cheney grumbled.

“In a hundred years from now, I think people will look back on me as a success,” Bush said.

“The country won’t exist a hundred years from now and you’ll be forgotten.”

“The American people are going to miss me soon.”

“The American people are going to be too busy with a depression to miss anything.”

“I’m president now!” President Obama said as he popped in to the Oval Office.

“Yes, we know Obama,” Bush said. “I just wanted to go over last minute things with you.”

“I’m smart. People elected me because I’m smart,” Obama proclaimed.

“Yes, we know you’re smart, Obama. You keep telling us that.”

Obama scampered across the room. “What’s this?”

“That’s your desk, Obama. That’s where you make decisions.”

“What’s this?”

“That’s a pen, Obama.”

He grabbed the pen greedily. “It’s my pen. I’m the president.”

“Yes, we know, Obama.”

“What’s this?”

“That the self-destruct button for the world. You don’t want to touch that.”

Obama reached for it. “It’s pretty.”

Bush slapped his hand. “No, Obama. Bad president. Don’t touch that.”

“What’s this?”

“That’s a bucket, Obama. I used it for spitting in.”

“I bet my head could fit inside it!”

“I don’t know about that, Obama…”

Obama picked up the bucket and placed it on his head. He then tried to take it off but it wouldn’t budge. “I can’t see!”

“That’s because you have a bucket stuck on your head, Obama.”

“Mah! Bad bucket!” Obama yelled, trying to pull it off as he ran around in a panic. He then accidentally tripped and went out the window.

Cheney leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, we’re in good hands. I don’t know why we were worrying.”

14 Comments

  1. Kennedy hauled out with convulsions at the table.
    Turns out it was just a skilled intern under the table helping him celebrate.

    Robert “KKK Grand Wizard” Byrd also hauled out with medical issues.
    See above, but replace “intern” with “Dixie Chick”.

    Obama’s address seemed really familiar… Oh, yes – I’ve seen this outline before.

  2. “No, Obama. Bad president. Don’t touch that.”

    That’s the new slogan for my paycheck. For healthcare. For the Military. For the housing market. For social security. For retirement plans. For the coal industy. For the auto industry. For the energy industry…

  3. Cheney: “C’mere Barry”

    BarryO scampers over. “What?”

    Cheney: “Now just sit here at the big desk and play with your crayons and coloring book for the next 4 years until a real conservative can be elected, and everything will be okay.”

  4. Did my eyes deceive me, or did Mrs. Bush prominently snub Smelosi in the informal greeting line (before heading outside for the festivities)? Bet she’s been wanting to do that for years now.

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