With the Glenn Beck controversy over whether he boiled a frog alive (Oh no! Not a frog!), I think it should be mentioned in defense of frogs that they will eventually jump out of water if you gradually raise the heat on them and not just sit there until they’re boiled alive. Think about it: If you enter a room that’s really hot, you’ll immediately turn on the A/C or a fan. If you’re in a room that isn’t hot but the temperature is gradually raised, eventually you say, “This is too hot” and turn on the A/C or a fan. Frogs aren’t any different; they jump out of boiling water and if started in lukewarm water will also jump out eventually when the temperature is raised. Still, we tell a lie about them because we think it makes a great political analogy. The same happens to lemmings and ostriches who don’t mindlessly run off cliffs and don’t hide their head in the sand when there is danger; if they actually did either, they’d be extinct. Still, these falsehoods prevail because of their potential as political analogies for people we don’t like.
“So what? They’re just stupid animals; we can tell whatever lies we want about them. We have thumbs.”
You say that now, but what if they get sick of it, knock you down in an alleyway, and eat your eyeballs. That’s what animals do. That’s why you must always respect mother nature… unless you’re good with a gun. Then you can do what you want.
But if they jump out, how will I make frog legs?
I recall that Volta’s discovery of batteries was motivated by the twitching of frog’s legs displayed for sale, moving as they touched a wire that caused a galvanic response.
And next you’re gonna tell me pigs will never have wings.
Since I don’t own a gun, I will have to remember to skip the dark alleyways to avoid all those malicious animals I’ve been telling bald-face lies about!
If anyone ever asks me why I read IMAO, I’ll show them these two sentences.
When an ostrich hides its head in the sand it actually blends into the local foliage better.
The generally unsaid part of the frog metaphor is that you put a lid on the pot while the water is still lukewarm.
And, Lemmings do actually run of cliffs, but I’m not sure why.
http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/frogboil.asp
It’s true. The frogs will escape.
Come on, Frank, only monkeys eat eyeballs. Scary Evil Monkey(s).
Where the heck is that scary little fella, anyway?
Calm down liberals. It was a Capitalist frog that most likely voted for Bush. It’s ok.
Boil a few frogs alive? I never did like the French. Bravo bravo !!
You should never boil frogs. They’re much better sauteed, with garlic.
After successfully completing my mandatory diversity training yesterday I now know that it is our humancentric outlook that colors our perceptions of our animal kin. If we could all just embrace our differences and not look at a frog as a frog and ignore the hurtful rumors and stereotypes about them as well as other animals we could all have peace in the middle east. Also we must not fear the Scary Evil Monkey, but ask “Why does he really want to eat our eyeballs? What have I done to him and/or his ancestors to make him want to eat my eyeballs?”
Big hugs to everyone!
As a lad, I caught many frogs for various reasons, such as “playing God”, “feeding my pet snake”, and “the thrilling boost to my self esteem that comes from outwitting an amphibian”, and the most important thing I learned from this was:
If you put a frog in ANY container that he can jump out of, he will.
Temperature is irrelevant.
# 2 Ann says: Since I don’t own a gun….
Shame on you. you go get one! right now! we’ll wait.
…..
……
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Oh, gotta go.. my frog is boiling, I just hope I remembered to remove the beret this time.
Even though by criteria established by IMAO, I can do what ever I want; the scarcity and rising price of ammo dictates that frogs are low value targets.
I think I’ll save mine for cows. Cows are big, tasty, can’t hide in alleys, and almost never eat your eyeballs unless they are happy California cows feed on nothing but hemp.
You can also take a small frog, stuff a lit ladyfinger in its mouth, and toss it in the air, but I wouldn’t know anything about that.
Hmmm. I was trying to make the French Connection here but I guess that none is needed as a few made it for me. Thank God that no one can see that I am a French-Canadian-American American on teh intarweb. I use two hyphens in my nationalistic ethnocentric Americanism which makes me genetically superior and revered by all multiculturalisc revering reverers. And you are all afraid of me and want to boil me for it.
Mr. AwesometerrificAmerican. Did that happen to be a diversity 101 training in Salem? Just a wild guess. I wasn’t there, too.
No! It really works. I’ve tried it. You raise the temperature gradually and the frog just stays in the pot and boils. Of course, it raises a hell of a racket bumping against the lid for the last few minutes, but….
Disclaimer, no actual frogs were harmed in the making of this joke.
Frog Baseball !!!
Nope my day of rigorous self criticism took place in Orlando, Florida. Saw an interesting video and did my best not to make fun of it lest I draw the wrath of my corporate masters.
I think I should apply for a research grant to study this concept on some other animal like…oh, I don’t know…lobsters.
I just need to convince the government that melted butter is somehow essential to my research.
1. You cannot put a live frog in boiling water and hope to salvage the legs as a food product. A. Frog legs have to be cooked in bacon fat to be edible; B. The frog will pee in the boiling water and taint the taste of any other part of the animal dead, or alive; C. Any decent cracker will tell you after you catch/gig/trap/shoot the frog, you instantly cut off the legs and feet and keep only the edible parts.
2. Lemmings? WTF who cares?
3. An ostrich will indeed stick it’s head in the ground and think it is invisible. This should be a lesson to thinking people about the politics of socialism.
Oh, and on the Beck frog flap. No frog will be able to jump out of water, 200 times deeper than it’s length, over a pan wall that is 400 times it’s own length, boiling water or not. Fact is, if you drop any animal in boiling water, it is nearly instantly dead, and has no chance to escape, it is dead. Only humans get into hot water ON PURPOSE, the rest of the natural world knows better, or has no ability to control the water temperature.
I can see the court cases now: Wrongful death suits, Elk vs Wolf, Salmon vs Bear, Clam vs Seagull, Frog vs Garter Snake. Court appointed attorneys for all plaintiffs and defendants. Judge Wise Old Owl preciding.
Who killed Cock Robin?
I, said the sparrow,
with my bow and arrow.
I killed Cock Robin.
(but I didn’t know it was loaded!)
“Even though by criteria established by IMAO, I can do what ever I want; the scarcity and rising price of ammo dictates that frogs are low value targets.”
Thats why you should own an air rifle. Ammo is cheap and the bbs are re-usable.
I say we ask Ted Nugent to play the role of King Solomon. Venison stew with frog’s legs appetizers anyone?