The guy who did the epic 70 minute review/take down of the Phantom Menace now has a 90 minute review of Attack of the Clones (which I just watch recently again with the RiffTrax). I haven’t watched it yet, but I’ll issue a CONTENT WARNING based on his previous work. I’ll post the first part is here and you can find the rest here.
I just hope he can explain the plot, because I didn’t understand at all what exactly the bad guys were trying to accomplish in this movie. They just seemed to be constantly running into themselves. Shouldn’t it have tipped people off that Jango Fett was both the basis for the clones and fighting for the complete other side?
I was sort of hoping you’d do a 45-minute review of this guy’s 90-minute review of a 142-minute movie.
And then I’ll do a 22 minute review of that! No? Well, ok…
The review was funny, as before, but kind of disappointing. After watching a couple of his past oeuvres, the manner of speaking and the “stuff going on in the basement” jokes no longer have the surprise factor that made them funny before. Hope he comes up with some more original material for his take-down of the third movie.
I quit watching this absurd and insulting tripe the moment he uttered his ridiculous statement regarding bagpipes.
At least he only repeated the bagpipes insult once.
Yeah for some reason cartoon network had them take it down? Maybe because the name is vaguely related to their clone wars tv show?
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seriously? CARTOON NETWORK?? *shakes head*
“This video no longer available due to a copyright claim by The Cartoon Network, Inc..”
Dang it!
I can’t wait for him to spend an hour dissecting the “Star Wars Holiday Special”.
Really, why did that thing stink on ice?
Besides the concept, story, dialogue,and acting, that is.
The show had Harvey Kormann playing three parts and Bea Arthur singing.
That should have made it the Holiday Special we long for every ‘Holiday’
Instead it put the ‘short bus’ in ‘Special’.
I need a critic like that guy to break it down.
Coming soon, why Wilford Brimley’s moustache couldn’t save “Ewoks: The Battle for Endor”.
Youtube is a bunch of p—-s on copyright. Here’s a hint, idiots. you can use copyrighted material in order to criticize it. i mean, you obviously can’t show the whole thing (sorry rifftrax can’t just grab the rights), but he didn’t, just parts. And that is allowed.
Anyway, these reviews are great, but I think he missed the biggest “wtf?!” moment in Phantom. okay, give me a moment here.
There is one thing that is pretty dubious in the original trilogy (Star Wars, Empire, Etc.). The whole story is about an evil empire that had destroyed the galactic republic, and rebels working to restore it… by saving a princess, that is a person who rules by hereditary right. But you think, well, maybe its like England where they technically have a queen, but she literally has no power, so I would even call it an imperfect republic (because they also have that house of lords). Its a little weird, when you think of it, but you forgive it because the story really is a space age fairy tale, and just so good. Okay.
But Lucas decides that he needs to go back and explain, and tries to in Phantom and it leads to a complete clusterf—. So 15 year old Amadala (is that how you spell it? Ah, f– it) explains that she was elected queen. Stop and consider that for a moment. First, she is only 15 years old, and she is chosen to lead their entire planet. I mean seriously, forget running the planet, what modern civilized nation would put a completely untested newcomer in charge?
Oh, crap, WE did.
Okay, bad example. But seriously, you can’t even vote or drive (in most states) at 15, but she is given control of the planet?
Or did they at least make her work her way up to it? you know, before that at 13 she was leader of a major nation on the planet, 11 she was governor, 9 she was a state senator, 7 she was a mayor of a major city, at 5 she was a city council member, at 3 she was active in the local PTA…?
And then lets talk about the phrase: elected queen. Is sort of like the term “dry water” or “horse-drawn automobile” or “tough liberal”—it’s a contradiction in terms, okay? the very definition of queen means that you were not elected, but selected by heredity.
Ah, but maybe they just called her a queen when she wasn’t really. Yeah, but here’s the thing. This happened long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. Which means that chances are these “people” on the screen are not even human, but something that looks a lot like us (which is a huge f—ing coincidence, too). And further, there is no way aliens long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, are going to speak English. So really if you wanted to pretend this is real, you’d have to believe this was translated from whatever language they spoke, to English. And no matter what term they used, the correct translation for her position was president, prime minister, something like that—not queen.
And the worst thing about it, is it actually goes back and harms the original trilogy. I mean is “princess” also an elected position?
And you can totally see the wheels turning in lucas’ mind. He thinks, “well, this is luke and leia’s mother, and she has to get with baby darth, so she can’t be too scandalously old. So she is 15 and he is something like 6. A 9 year gap, which is pushing it, but I mean if they had two kids in such important roles it would be a mess. And of course I want her to be a strong character. So I will make her the queen. She has to be at least a princess, so that her daughter can also be a princess. And of course I will say that the queen is an elected position, so its all nice and democratic” and by the end of the discussion, he has talked himself into making a 15 year old girl an “elected” queen.
By the way, lucas, there was a much simpler way of solving the problem. make her an ordinary schmo, then make Jimmy Smitts King of Alderann (maybe it’s a ceremonial office, like in England), so when he adopts her baby girl, Leia becomes a princess.
My brain hurts just thinking about it.
Leia and Padme are hot. It’s what offsets the damn Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks.
Meesa tink Padme izza hottie!
Sadly, the reviewer soon reveals the truth…the prequels had no real coherent plot, only endless CGI scenes of people waving light sabers.
What is valuable is how he shows that almost every major element of the prequels serve to undermine the original trilogy.
And yes, I did get weary of the review’s basement sub-plot; however, at the end of the series it actually became interesting and leads into the next set of video reviews for the “Revenge of the Sith.”