So now Obama is for offshore drilling. He says he was always for it and we just heard him wrong in thinking he said the complete opposite, but I know this is a reversal of previous policy. So what is he up to?
Here’s my theory: He’s going to install spy satellites… UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH!
That’s right: He’s going to drill into the earth and put satellites that will ride the liquid hot magma to flow under us and spy on us. He’ll use them to see whether we bought government mandated health care and whether we’re making fun of him… WHICH WE’RE PRETTY MUCH DOING ALL THE TIME!
We need to oppose him, but we can’t use the real reason of stopping his underground spy satellites because he’ll just deny that. Instead let’s just say we’re against drilling because it hurts polar bears somehow. And when people ask why do we care about polar bears, we say polar bears are useful because… oh, I don’t know. Why do people care about polar bears? Do they do funny little dances or something? I might have to do some research.
You’ve got it all wrong, Frank. He’s “for” possibly maybe perhaps allowing some research on the subject.
Perhaps he thinks this will help him with voters when gas goes above 3 dollars, 4 dollars, 5 dollars……
Cause he can’t drill his wife.
Perhaps polar bears are delicious? It may or may not be true, but I think we should definitely authorize some exploratory studies to probe the potential of the question.
I know Obama thinks conservative Republicans are Hellspawn, but really, isn’t this going a bit too far?
“Why is Obastard drilling?”
well, he isn’t, of course. It’s a trick.
He was agin it before he was for it before he was agin it before he was for it…I wish he’d make up my freakin’ mind! So much obsfucation, no wonder everyone’s confused.
Some Einstein on Democrat Underground will post this as serious Teabagger theory in 5…4..3..2..
The function of polar bears is to murder innocent baby seals.
So, Obama sort of lifted the drilling ban imposed by…..president Obama? Naw, nothing going on there. It’s probably for the sick children who don’t have health insurance……Oh, Wait, SCHIP gives insurance to all children. Never mind.
What is it about the left always trying to turn dangerous creatures into mythical oppressed and harmless creatures? You know like they do with polar bears, radical Islam, or the militant angry wing of illegals. While In the same breath they demonize the guard dog (conservatives) with boogie man like horror stories to scare children. Is this some sickness they have?
What percent of liberals would choose being in a locked room with a polar bear or KSM instead of Bu$Hitler and Rove/Cheney?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx_7fhq2-q8
ANWR ANWR ANWR ANWR! Have massive oilfield. Should drill.
And as someone pointed out last night, drilling is still banned offshore of California.. Apparently, the idiots that be don’t want revenue that would make a dent in their deficit.
Thanx for the post shiggz. Up here in Alaska we still consider Binky to be a folk hero.
Liberals love polar bears because they’re what Coca Cola used to replace Santa Clause.
…or Claus, even.
Polar bears with lasers are a useful defense against dinosaurs with rockets. In fact, they may be the only defense.
Looking for more unicorns?
Polar bears are useful for eating hippies. We should say everything evil conservatives do kills polar bears. Using the internet to make money for our evil capitalist purposes kills polar bears, for example.
Then the hippies will all go up north to take pictures of us killing polar bears. Because they are stupid hippies, the polar bears will eat them.
Polar bears gotta eat, so lets all do our part for Mother Earth.
Well the muzzies like them cuz they put on such great blood baths when they rip their pray to shreads. But I’m still confused about what the greenies see in them.