IMAO Is for Sale

The Huffington Post was sold for $315 million to AOL — that’s 315 million times more than Newsweek was sold for. That kind of seems like a lot, but apparently HuffPo is good at getting the clickies. As for AOL, I didn’t even know they were still around? What do they even do now? Do they still sell dial up service?

What kind of traffic does HuffPo get anyway? I’m seeing like something like 26,000,000 unique visitors a month. So what’s IMAO worth then? I’ve been kind of sucking it up at 100,000 unique visitors a month. So divide that by 26,000,000 and multiply by $315,000,000…

HOLY SCHNIKES! IMAO IS WORTH 1.2 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! THE INTERNET BUBBLE IS BACK!!!!

Um… So. Anyone shopping for a blog? If it’s a regular reader, I’ll make you a deal: Only $1.1 million. For that, you also get all rights to nuking the moon.

26 Comments

  1. 100,000 unique visitors a month? I don’t think I’m comfortable with that many people being exposed to my lame comments. That won’t stop me though, I’ll just have to be uncomfortable.
    Oh, and as an irregular commenter, what’s my cut?

  2. ok trying to get my avatar to work so I have to actually make a comment. Did Frank say anything pithy? I guess I should read and comment. Did he get bought out by the Huffington Post? Congrats

  3. Oh no! Just what we need. I hear Justin Bieber is looking to buy a blog! Of course if he buys this one he shall be slaughtered with insults and wedgies to the point of having to sell it back to Frank J for $1.00 so that might be a good idea for Frank! What if Rosie buys it though! We will have posts about fat lesbian stuff to read about? I don’t think I could manage that! I would log into IMAO and sit here with my mouth hanging open wondering what has happened to my internet!

  4. Hmm, your silence on the website’s T-shirt babes makes me suspicious.

    Will the buyer have to keep you writing here? What about your other personalities?
    If so, is Laurence Simon included?

    Do they expect to get paid or, since they’re figments of your imagination, could the buyer just pay your therapy bills and have the therapist tell them they are being paid?

    I do see one major flaw in your plan.

    You need to find someone at an AOL level of stupidity and that’s not going to be easy.

    Tthey’d have to be much more stupid than your average Puff Ho writer.
    The type of people who feel Kos is too wonkish and intelligent to read.
    You’re talking DU-level stupidity.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m rooting for you, but people that stupid don’t often have a million dollars laying around.

  5. 100,000 unique visitors, eh? Is that how many people a month read my inane and insane comments? Or is that visitors who take one look at the maniacs in this place and head for the internets hills?

    Tell you what. Throw in a Nuke The Moon and Fred Thonpson for President t-shirt and it’s a deal. Now where did I put that 1.1 million I had sitting around? Is it under the couch? Nope. Just some cat puke. Damn cats. How about the freezer? What, these fishsticks expired in 2008? No it’s not in the freezer either. Really, it’s around here somewhere…

  6. “Um… So. Anyone shopping for a blog? If it’s a regular reader, I’ll make you a deal: Only $1.1 million. For that, you also get all rights to nuking the moon.”

    But! Did anyone notice how he failed to mention that the n00b gets stuck with Marco and USSJC? I just don’t think I willing to settle for 1.1 if that is the case. You will have to come up with a bit more Frank.

  7. Try putting on a cheap blonde wig and talk with a Greek accent and aol will be all over you. They are the only ones with millions of dollars while having nothing of value to sell. It’s probably bailout money from our taxes.

  8. Sorry Frank, but your moonbat numbers just aren’t there. AOL is clearly looking to pick up a large moonbat client base, and so HuffPo or Kos are the logical choices. Until you get at least 500,000 unique moonbats visiting per month, AOL is just not interested.

  9. AOL is free. FREE!!! But in the third quarter of last year they still had 4 million subscribers and were able to scam them for 244 million dollars. Probably hard to get those oldsters with the rotary phones to make the big switch but maybe it’s time for a little Republican led nudge from Congress to make Huffpoop see the light.

  10. AOL has been more then just slanted or tilted left as long as I can remember. Now if all those older conservatives would cancel their service we could have taken this beast down.

    Of course that brings up another AOL issue. google “aol wont cancel service”

    post query: Who will get credit for harvesting your soul for the dark lord aol or huffpo?

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