So you heard about this Christopher Lee thing? Before we had time to process what was going on, the guy was already gone. It was awesome. Why can’t it always be that as soon as a congressmen starts to be an embarrassment — BOOM! — he’s out the door. Caught on YouTube roughing up some kid on the streets, gone that day. Money found in your freezer, gone before anyone can write a coherent blog post about it. Charlie Rangel — gone decades ago.
As soon as anything starts to look fishy about any politician, they should be out the door immediately. Could this policy end up hurting some innocent congressmen? No, because they’re all politicians and not innocent. Plus, there is no right to a cushy legislative job.
Really, I see no downsides to constantly throwing out politicians for like anything. The only problem, of course, is that most are sociopaths who will cling to power as long as we can. That’s why we’ll need something new to enforce these anti-corruption measures: A robot. See, a robot has claws made of metal, so no matter how hard a politician tries to cling to his seat, the robot will be stronger and able to remove him. The robot will constantly patrol the halls of the Capitol reminding all politicians of its cold metal justice for corruption. It will have glowing red eyes and speak like Soundwave from the original Transformers cartoon.
Now, I know some of you are saying, “I’ve seen Robocop; isn’t this robot just going to eventually start hurting people and become uncontrollable?” No, because it will be programmed to only be able to touch politicians so there’s no fear of it hurting people.
So let’s win the future – a future free of corruption and full of robots.
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