So you heard about this Christopher Lee thing? Before we had time to process what was going on, the guy was already gone. It was awesome. Why can’t it always be that as soon as a congressmen starts to be an embarrassment — BOOM! — he’s out the door. Caught on YouTube roughing up some kid on the streets, gone that day. Money found in your freezer, gone before anyone can write a coherent blog post about it. Charlie Rangel — gone decades ago.
As soon as anything starts to look fishy about any politician, they should be out the door immediately. Could this policy end up hurting some innocent congressmen? No, because they’re all politicians and not innocent. Plus, there is no right to a cushy legislative job.
Really, I see no downsides to constantly throwing out politicians for like anything. The only problem, of course, is that most are sociopaths who will cling to power as long as we can. That’s why we’ll need something new to enforce these anti-corruption measures: A robot. See, a robot has claws made of metal, so no matter how hard a politician tries to cling to his seat, the robot will be stronger and able to remove him. The robot will constantly patrol the halls of the Capitol reminding all politicians of its cold metal justice for corruption. It will have glowing red eyes and speak like Soundwave from the original Transformers cartoon.
Now, I know some of you are saying, “I’ve seen Robocop; isn’t this robot just going to eventually start hurting people and become uncontrollable?” No, because it will be programmed to only be able to touch politicians so there’s no fear of it hurting people.
So let’s win the future – a future free of corruption and full of robots.
It’s a good thing we can trust that the dems would never make something up to accuse a prominant pub and then get him kicked out before anything is proven.
How about Terry Tate: Legislature Linebacker – putting the whoop ice on members of congress.
“Don’t bring that weak ice legislation in here! This is the people’s house!”
It should be more of a bargaining chip. If you want our guy to leave for showing some skin then you’ve gotta get rid of the tax dodger. Wait never mind that would require some level of shame and clearly that isn’t part of the make up of anyone on the left.
Someone must have had something over his head so he had to come up with a way to get ejected from Congress with out to much inspection. Was he drunk posting? What could have made him even believe that this wasn’t going to get him booted? This make no sense.
It’s simple: Republicans resign…democrats have no shame whatsoever and don’t.
@Son of Bob.
The left would immediately scream about torture because the robots would be after demoncrats and they would be all like, wait we didn’t do nothing wrong. And would not think they did, because you can’t have ethics without morals, and demons(rats) hate morals so they have none. Therefore, they have no concept of right and wrong, just power and how to spend other peoples money.
I think we need torturing robots as soon as possible.
I fear “Robots Gone Wild” senerio. I do like the robo thing though. A Star Chamber senerio would work much better. Me, Frank and Basil and one of you guys who’s willing to pony up a hefty membership fee. We could vote and then send our robo minions out to do our bidding. We could then laugh like those cartoon villians excep we would be the good guys. Much more democratic that way.
MMMhahahaha!
Sounds a little chancy to me. Who is going to design these robots? Skynet?
I think we need something a bit more organic. Dinosaurs. One for the house and one for the senate. Every day they would eat someone at random. The law of averages means that they will each be eating a corrupt congressman and senator every day.
After a while the new the new politicians will also be slimy weasels but will be too new at the job to be effective at being corrupt.
A side benefit the dinosaurs could eat lobbyists anytime the ran short of congressmen.
I’m glad you’re aware of the clear distinction between politicians and people.
Say what you will about Christopher Lee. He was still great in “Lord of the Rings”.
I’m a little fuzzy on this. I thought Christopher Lee was a blood sucking actor. Now you tell me that he’s a blood sucking politician? Christopher Lee starred in maybe 3 1/2 bazillion movies, including “Missiles from Hell,” so he can’t be all bad. On the other hand, this other Christopher Lee is teh ghey or teh braindead, so he’d be good in “Night of the Living Dead 9: Congress Attacks!”
Isn’t there a rule of thumb for detecting witches, like the good ones float and the evil ones sink? Or was it the other way around? Seems like we could adapt that for Congress. Throw them all in the ocean and let God sort them out?
Amendment 27
All congressional seats will be covered in Teflon and canola oil.
Amendment 28
All congressional votes will require the congress person to post a 10 minute youtube post explaining why they voted for each part of that bill. Said video will later be fact checked by a team of assassin robots.
A couple of Ed-209’s could handle the job,
“YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO LEAVE YOUR SEAT!”
I say send Chuck Norris to Congress and let him patrol the halls. A roundhouse will take care of the problem ones.
I like the whole Robot thing! Make him Master at Arms of the House and Senate! Also give him like super hearing. If he hears of and dirty dealings going on, he can throw those guys out too. Can we have him pick up the congressmen by their junk and carry them out screaming and like wetting themselves? That would be excellent! And then the robot will be required to kick the congressman/woman down each step to the capital building like a log roll! Better build the robot for endurance. He’s going to be a busy boy!