* Obama now says he wants $4 trillion in cuts. So previously Obama hadn’t even cared about proposing a budget that didn’t still add to the deficit, but now he wants trillions in cuts. I know what you’re thinking: “It’s a trap!” Yeah, but he’s also an idiot. He has to be able to spring the trap without accidentally strangling himself in one of its strings, and he’s just too inept for that. When Obama puts down a piece of cheese as bait, I say, “Yay! Free cheese!”
* So Obama had his Twitter town hall, and, as expected, he answered a bunch of questions on Justin Bieber. And he wasn’t even taking questions from regular people. One question he answered was from Speaker Boehner and another from New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof (both their questions were also about Bieber).
Interesting the rhetoric Obama used about Republicans: “The debt ceiling should not be something that is used as a gun against the heads of the American people”. First Republicans were just driving cars into ditches and standing idly by as it gets fixed while drinking a Slurpee. And now they’re putting guns to people’s heads? Probably soon they’ll be raping and murdering! Maybe we should have seen it coming. Maybe we should have noticed that they didn’t pay for that Slurpee but got it when they robbed the 7-11. But it’s too late now; they have a debt ceiling pointed right at us! We better do as they say and cut spending!
* Obama’s planning to stay longer in Iraq. Obama had pledged to have everyone out by 2011, but, you know, he’s pledged lots of things. Plus, if we ended that war, then we’d have an even number of wars going, and that’s bad luck.
Still, as John Kerry said: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.” Kind of a racist statement, in retrospect.
* BTW, here is a nice column from Jonah Goldberg on how the phrase “That’s racist!” is mainly just a punchline to today’s generation. Liberals think that by repeating the accusation enough, it will stick, but really it just makes them look like mindless idiots.
* Nidal Hasan, the Fort Hood shooter, will have a military trial and could face the death penalty. Hasan’s lawyers urged that they not seek the death penalty saying that such a trial will be costly. I would like to put to rest all his worries and assure him it will not be costly. The military uses the death penalty all the time — often without a trial — so they’re very efficient at it. In fact, you could say their main mission is to kill bad people, and they are very good at it. Much better than say the post office or the DMV. So I’m sure they’ll be able to give Hasan his trial and execute him way under budget. So no worries; everyone’s happy.
* In another one of those breathless birther e-mails I get multiple times a day and can’t figure out how to stop, they announce “Mathematical ‘proof’ Obama birth certificate a forgery”. See, once again math is Obama’s enemy! Hmm… but why put the scare quotes on the word “proof”? Oh, I know, it’s because THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP SENDING ME THESE THINGS ARE MORONS! Just another reason we need to defeat Obama in 2012: maybe that will cause these people to stop e-mailing me their constant idiocy.
* James Spader will be joining the cast of The Office next season. Nothing witty to say about that, I just like The Office and thought James Spader had a really interesting character in the finale. It’s my blog, and I can just talk about stuff because I like it. Yes, I can! No, you shut up! Fine… I’ll ask for permission next time.
* Wisdom of the Day: “To those who want more income for the government: 47% of Americans pay ZERO Federal Income Tax.” –Dave Ramsey
Everyone keeps using the term “debt ceiling”.
I don’t like it. Remember…..one man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
They can’t raise the debt ceiling. It’s already at the roof. And there’s a giant gorilla on top of the roof swatting at airplanes.
James Spader has a very punchable face. I bet he hangs around with Bantha_Fodder.
HotAir just put this up in the headlines:
http://people-press.org/2011/07/07/public-wants-changes-in-entitlements-not-change-in-benefits/
The country wants their handouts, not a balanced budget.
Sip slidin’ away…
Didnt you know that idle Slurpee drinking is the gateway activity to raping and murdering?
putting a gun to someone’s head is the logical step in the process.
I am wondering if that would help in this “debt ceiling” stalemate – it could be used as a gun to a democrat’s head followed by a forceful, “Break your self, FOOL!” hmm, progress?
I knew a man
He came from my hometown
He wore his passion for his gubmint cheese like a thorny crown
Just a minor point, but Obama never said he wanted 4 trilliion in “cuts”. He wants to decrease the rate of growth of the national debt by $4 trillion over 10 years (while he is personally responsible for it’s current trajectory of increasing by over at least $20 trillion over that same 10 years).
No, what Obama wants, and the only thing he’s ever wanted was TAX INCREASES.
No doubt most of Obama’s cuts will come out of the defense, NASA, and border security budgets.
He said: Medicare… I live in fear,
My love for you’s so overpowering, I’m afraid that it will disappear
Slip slidin’ away, slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away
How can there possibly be “shared” sacrifice when only half the citizens pay to begin with?
Bantha_Fodder went up the hill with 40 men
They all game running down again…
Why is it so #&$@ing hard for the government to behave like rational adults? It’s like a family with an annual income of $50k who’s been spending $90k a year and has $325k in credit card debt. Now they’re arguing about getting another credit card. The really “hard-line, meany Republicans” are demanding that in order to get another credit card, they drop spending to $80k a year.
How does any of that solve the f’ing problem? You’re still piling up the debt. Are our elected officials really so abysmally stupid as to not understand basic finance or math? And if they are that stupid, why on earth do we keep electing them?
“Nidal Hasan, the Fort Hood shooter, will have a military trial and could face the death penalty.”
Well, as long as he’s not a “Mexican National.” Is it 6:00 yet?
Today he said he is willing to put social security and medicare on the table, but his history makes it almost certain that he is just going to use them as weapons to accuse republicans of pushing grandma over a cliff and continue without a restricting budget. If he manufactures a crisis then he does not let it go to what he considers a waste. He has no interest in changing the course of our downward spiral.
Marko and Jimmy:
There must be 50 ways to balance your budget.
I think I’ll pitch a game show called “That’s Racist!” to MTV…
Re: Just another reason we need to defeat Obama in 2012: maybe that will cause these people to stop e-mailing me …
1. Please brace yourself: You are NOT funny.
2. People should stop emailing information to you. You are a moron.
3. The long form birth certificate is a phony. A growing number of experts conclude this. ZERO experts have been trotted out by your friends in the media explaining away the myriad of incosistencies, each of which SCREAMS forgery and fraud (Best kept secret: Your media buddies KNOW the Obama birth cert it is a forgery and fraud – This is why they don’t attempt to investigate the “validity” of the document. – Rather, they just keep passing notes to tools like you begging, “Please TRY to make some more birther yukks before this thing gets out of hand.”)
4. Do yourself a favor. Don’t be the last moron out there making pathetic birther jokes. Evidence of Obama’s citizenship (or lack thereof) will receive a full airing soon. You really don’t want to be that last man standing with the stupid look on his face.
WOW!! A troll! And a really ignert one at that!
Let me lob the first shell.
A, oh excuse me, 1. Birthers are complete morons that have as much credibility as the new york times, keefie uberdouche, and barry himself.
2. Birthers are the same morons that think goldman sacs controls the currency. We all know its jimmy carter, so take your ball and go home.
3. Did Bantha Fodder give you permission to speak? No? then take your ball and go home.
4. As far as FrnakJ goes, it doesn’t matter if people quit sending him information or not. He is an engineer and therefore incapable of reading.
At least 50, hwuu:
1. Eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare, Foodstamps… etc.
2. Eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare, Foodstamps… etc.
3. Eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare, Foodstamps… etc.
4. Eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare, Foodstamps… etc.
…
…
50. Eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare, Foodstamps… etc.
…
…
I was hoping for some Simon style Rhymin there Jimmy.
You just cut out the Crap, Pap
Get out of Afghan, Stan
You don’t need NEA, Ray
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need a new stimulus
Give HUD back the key, Lee
And get yourself free
“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you spend logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be debt free
There must be fifty ways to cut the debt.
She said it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to cut the debt.
Fifty ways to cut the debt.
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new budget plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself debt free
Hop on the one nation bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just knock off the spending, Lee
And get yourself debt free……
How’s that hwuu?….z
Nice.. Very Nice. At the risk of being shunned I give zzyzx High Praise.
In truth, Obama’s correct to say that the debt ceiling should not be used as a gun against the American people. The actual plan is to use it as a machete against massive government largesse.
Marko’s right about Spader. He’s in need of a punching. Besides, The Office jumped the shark when the main character guy and the receptionist hooked up. See also Moonlighting, Cheers, etc. Each were shows with lots of humor that were made into soap operas designed to draw viewers back each week to watch the pathetic relationships of the characters.
Oh, and by the way, as Director of Hygiene, I declare this post and comments to be 100% germ free with the exception of the birther poster, who should conduct a Stage IV Nuclear-Biological-Chemical decontamination immediately.
I’m not very good at lyrics, hwuu. Plus, I couldn’t remember them. And, I have no culture.
Congratulations to Burmashave on the assumption of his duties. As Frank J. 2012 Campaign Chief of Staff, I’d like to encourage all the others (and there are many others yet to be named) to step up and commence… working… on Frank’s… stuff.
@Anon,
MTV has already had that game show for years, it’s called “MTV’s The Real World.”
It shall henceforth be policy that after being punched in the face, hippies will be subject to muskets to the junk. Provided it can be proven that the hippie has enough junk for musketing, and is not a complete waste of the musket’s time.
I thought MTV went off the air in the early 90’s, replaced by a pseudo entertaining hippie channel.
It shall henceforth be policy to deliver a musket to the junk of MTV.
hwuu…GASP!!! May you be buggered by a thousand camels and may your wife shriek like a thousand Hillary Clintons for such blasphemy you infidel! Only a true Evil Doer would ever suggest High Praise for anyone but the great and noble Bantha_Fodder (may he, she/it live forever)!!! Major gaffe on IMAO (unless you have been doing some mighty fast butt kissing to FrankJ, in which you may be gifted with this most noble of name hander outers)
Please restrict High Praise for the friend of Frank J who’s lips are sewn to his buttocks! This will server you well as it has the rest of us losers in each and every contest where no High Praise has come forth because our lips are not sewn to those buttocks and never shall be! Not that I’m obsessing or anything…
@ Son of Bob at 13: In order for the Texas police to offer the Mexican National guest rapist the services of the Mexican Consulate, they would have had to ask his nationality. Since he has been in the country illegally since he was two years old, he undoubtedly can speak English fluently, and any questions about his nationality would have been ILLEGAL RACIAL PROFILING. I guarantee you the Mexican National guest murderer did not volunteer his “undocumented” status until he was a decade or so into the appeals process and some volunteer attorney realized it was a potential “get out of death row free” card. Welcome to Texas, dude – they have the death penalty, and THEY USE IT. (Cr Ron White.)
Any High Praise I give out is strictly off the books under the table bootleg praise. Frank would have my head if he found out I had the keys to the praise cabinet.
Lucky for me he never reads this far down unless he is begging for ideas.
A thousand shrieking Hillary’s would cause a rip the space-time continuum, ussjc.
And buggering by a thousand camels = 1 Barney Frank (metric International Units)
So, hwuu gets a rip and a Barney Frank? Seems severe.
Jimmy, what am I supposed to be? Campaign manager?
Campaign Treasurer, Marko. You control the money – and the bacon. (See comment #1 in Frank’s Random Thoughts.)
I’ll spend it all on whiskey and country albums.
I could also put you down for Environmental Policy Adviser, providing you tap our coal reserves in Pennsylvania and ship me a train car full!
In other news (and I know this late at night it won’t be read by many, unless Frank J writes something about this tomorrow), Texas just executed a Mexican! Apparently it’s got the whole world stunned and made Obama mad, but it seems this Jalepeno raped and murdered an American girl back in the 90s. So the liberals are crying, but I say hoorah for Texas justice. It may be slow, but at least it still happens, unlike most of the rest of this country…
Days like today make me proud to be a Texan. But of course any day with a “D” in it makes me proud to be a Texan and not living in Boiseee. We don’t need not stinkin’ Chopolties! We got the real thing
I like Texas…if you kill someone in Texas don’t be surprised if the folks there get together, have a trial, find you guilty, and kill you back! If you want to rape and murder with relative impunity…I suggest you commit your crimes in NY, CA, MA, or any of the other blue states.
Yea, I didn’t think of that. Frank reads down to Bantha_Fodder’s post and that’s as far as he goes. Then we can have a free-for-all down here at the bottom of the barrel!!!
zzyzx,
…or apparently, Arkansas, where you can rape a woman like Juanita Broaddrick then go on to become president.
In the 80’s they promised Reagan spending cuts in exchange for a tax increase.
The taxes went up immediately, but the spending cuts never happened.
(Fool me once, shame on you!)
In the 90’s they promised Bush Sr. spending cuts in exchange for a tax increase.
The taxes went up immediately, but the spending cuts never happened.
(Fool me twice, shame on me!)
Now they’re promising the Republicans reductions in the rate of spending increases in exchange for a tax increase????
OH HELL NO!!!!111!132111!!!!
Will someone please tell me when the revolution is scheduled to begin?
…er… what I meant to say is…
This time, lets institute the spending cuts immediately, and then gradually introduce a tax increase 12 years from now (if we need it, if we feel like it, and if anyone still remembers that we promised to do it.
Take all their proposed cuts and tax increases and just reverse them.
“OK, sure, no problem, Mr. President! We’ll increase the taxes 10 years from now, if you cut the spending to say… 2006 levels right now. How sweet a deal is that, eh?”
That’ll be like garlic to a vampire – we may actually see his head spin 360 degrees on his shoulders!
Or just quit cold turkey, let it all close down for a month, and when they’ve shown to the world that they’re so useless that they can do nothing for a month and no one much notices….
Aah, reality! How refreshing!
That’s right 4/7 why ever raise it? We have a defacto balanced budget amendment now, I don’t see why we should be in any hurry to give that up.
Let’s offer to cut the budget back to 1967 levels (before Johnson’s war on poverty). In exchange Obama can raise postage stamp prices in 2016.
I’ll bet Captain Queeg would have been a Birther:
“Ah, but the Birth Certificate! That’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with GEOMETRIC LOGIC, that a Birth Certificate did not exist!”
#44 – hwuu,
He can raise the postage stamp prices in 2016 AFTER we reduce them down to 1967 levels as well! (We don’t want to give away Too much!) 😉