Has David Brooks ever not been considered a useless twit by the conservative community?
My wife was telling me about the book Hunger Games. Liked it better when my Asian friend told me about it and it was called Battle Royale.
In America, Battle Royale was called Quarter Battle with Cheese.
The only thing I want to know about the lower class is whether their backs are sturdy enough to support my weight when I step on them. Frank J. 2016
Have Harvey write your speeches and Basil run your campaign website, blogging and twittering. Bantha_Fodder will be your campaign manager. Son of Bob will manage your think tank. MarkoMancuso will manage the money. DamnCat will do whatever cats do. And ussjimmycarter will rip heads off and stuff ’em. There, you’re set for 2016.
Who is David Brooks?
Have you been paying any attention? Thanks to government subsidies, bad food is the cheapest food. Thus, poor men have gone from “muscle and blood” with strong backs to something nearly as pathetic and useless as union labor.
I forgot the other “advisor” positions:
Foreign Policy: FormerHostage
Domestic Affairs: Carolyn
Ethics: seanmahair
No BS: Crabby Old Bat
Religious Liaison: EdthePastor
Legal Affairs: Iowa Jim
Public Policy: plentyobailouts
Hygiene: Burmashave
Military: Rock Throwing Peasant
Science! & Engineering!: Me!
Obama’s sartorial advisor: “Oh, that crease in your pant is Faaabulous!!”
Frank J. 2016?
A proven constitutionalist ,
waiting till you are 35 to run.
Be sure to add that to your campaign literature and stump speech..
I want my quarter battle with bacon and cheese please.
David Brooks? Wasn’t he the guy that played the drunk all the time?
I think that would put me in charge of the Justice Department. Instead of selling machine guns to Mexico, we will change course and start using Machine guns on Mexicans! Ist order of bidness… Then, I shall direct the TSA to look for liberals! Anyone with Obama stickers or rainbows anywhere on their personage… All these people will be scanned three times, then they shall be taken into a room, strip searched and then they shall have a deep cavity search with sticky rubber gloves and no lube!!!
Then I shall outlaw liberals and start rounding them up and putting them into camps… Muwhahahahahahahah!!!!
Frank’s Ferren’ Policy Statements:
Leave us alone, n’ we’ll leave you alone.
We’ll put up with alot, but we will only put up with so much.
Push us hard enough and we’ll send in our special diplomatic corps (AKA Marine Corps).
If you don’t take care of your stupid people…we will, that’s why drones were invented.
Foreign aid is us helping you kill terrorists or making you hide so we don’t kill you.
No import tax on beer.
Economic Advisor: Ernie Loco
(Oh, btw, I’m in charge of the campaign staff.)
“Has David Brooks ever not been considered a useless twit by the conservative community?”
As a matter of fact, yes. He has also been an unknown twit.
I dont want to be campaign mangler, I want to be the HYPE MAN, like Flava Flav – I already have a big nuked moon on a fat gold chain to hang around my neck
Battle Royale started OK, but just got really stupid once it got to the ninja powers bullcrap, or whatever that was. And the comic is as ugly as sin. Uses a light version of the horror manga style, which just generally are not appealing at all (trying to be realistic, but be stylized at the same time, and just turns out bad).
Frank, as Marko points out, you won’t get strong backs; however, their bellies will be so pudgy that it’ll be like walking on peeps, except not as tasty.
David Brooks
I’m sorry, Bantha, yu’ve been chosen. Are you going to say “No” to your next President, Frank J.?
Oh, and ussjimmycarter. Not only Justice. But CIA, FBI and Homeland Security for you. Wait… We’ll have to wait until Frank’s elected for those. OK, you’re Sergeant-at-Arms at all meetings (which means you’re in charge of hippie punchin’, hobo knee-capping, liberal disemboweling.
Jimmy….you forgot the MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL POSITIONS!!11!!!!
Who’s bringing the Krispy Kremes?
Probably DamnCat, FormerHostage. He needs collateral duties since, as a cat, he has too much time on his paws (and other stuff).
And Marko is in charge of the Bacon, of course.
I’ll bring the potato salad (made from Yukon Golds).
Wait… Are we planning a pot-luck here? Then we must have BEER!
NOT DamnCat…he’d lick each one so none of us would eat and he’d take them all!
I’ll bring the Doritos.
Keep your donuts – make me tuna czar and you’ll never hear from me again.
DamnCat, I think you should be the Press Agent. Cats are good at burying s#it!
Hmmmmmm…tuna czar. Didn’t Obama try the same sort of move by making Kevin Jennings the Safe School Czar?
Jolly good, FormerHostage. As Frank J.’s 2012 Campaign Chief of Staff, I hereby designate DamnCat as Press Agent and Public Relations Advisor. I expect all briefings to be held in or near the campaign litter box at 07:00. The press stinks anyway, but wait ’till they get a whiff of this!
It’s a big step down from tuna czar – but if my country needs me as Presidential Press Agent and Public Relations Advisor I’ll do it.
I’ll need to practice my hissing and spitting.
I think that was Garth Brooks, POB….
Damncat is a dude?!?
Brooks’ logic is about as sound as Foster Brooks’ after a bender
@ dude_clutch – no, not a “dude” – a tom.
In America, Battle Royale was called Quarter Battle with Cheese.
Now, that there is some random. Bravo!
WoooHoo Can I wear a pointy hat with a nuked moon on it? I also want to run the re-education camps after the victory.
As long as your pointy hat also says “Don’t Mess With Texas!”, EdthePastor. And I’ll put you down for Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare – which will be disbandoned shortly after Frank takes office. But that’s okay, since you’ll have time to set-up your escape-proof camps before your office shuts down and leaves millions of Obama voters stranded in the middle of nowhere.
No worries about the Obama voters, Jimmy! I will have them neatly assigned to “camps”! At each camp we will have a MexiCannon where we will be firing liberals into one of 3 places based on their liberal scale. 1-33 they get fired into Canada, 34-66 they get fired into Mexico and 67-100 we fire them into the Sun!
CIA!!! Jumps up and down!!! CIA, CIA??? Pants like a dog!!! CIA!!! Advanced Terrorist Techniques!!! CIA…mouth waters!!! CIA!!! I’m already on it! I’m going to move in now and start advancing up the ranks. Nobody will know who I am and then when Frank J is elected I will announce myself as the new Overlord of the CIA which I will quickly change to the Umniverse. Then we shall start nuking if I have control of any nukes…and I expect to…or FrankJ just might find himself committing suicide (5 shots to the back of the head) and rolled up in a blanket and dumped off in Ft Marcy Park… Muwhahahahahahahah!
Let me be on Franks security detail – maybe as food taster.
Mmm… Krispy Kreme!