* Now Gingrich is starting to talk about us getting out of Afghanistan. When so many people riot and murder over a couple books being burned, you do start to wonder what exactly it is we hope to achieve over there. Maybe in the future instead of nation building we should stick to just blowing stuff up in other countries and leaving. We won’t be engaging countries on a more direct level, but maybe they’ll still figure out how to behave if we blow them up enough times. It’s like a more extreme version of hippie punching, as a hippie getting repeatedly punched in the face may eventually help a hippie to learn to not be such a hippie… at least according to a recent scientific study I conducted.
* According to a poll, most Americans believe Obama’s health care mandate is unconstitutional. Obama never did make Obamacare as popular as he hoped… probably because of that whole ignoring the Constitution thing. Now if only five out of nine of the Supreme Court Justices have basic reading comprehension they’ll find Obamacare to be unconstitutional too. And there goes Obama’s biggest achievement. Well, he’ll still have the hundreds in billions in “stimulus” he wasted to no real purpose.
* In another poll with bad news for Obama, 75% of people think the rich should pay 30% or less in taxes — which is lower than their current tax rate. If Democrats were expecting people to be irrationally greedy and hateful of rich people, they might have some trouble. I blame Occupy Wall Street. Through them, people got to see how dumb and pathetic you look when all you do is concern yourself with someone else’s wealth. No one wants to end up as a hippie… because then you’ll find yourself in a scientific experiment where I punch you.
* The Supreme Court won’t take emergency measures to prevent the Asian carp from reaching the Great Lakes. Who in the world, though, when threatened by a fish, would turn to Supreme Court for help? That’s definitely a job for Aquaman. Well, if Superman, Batman, and the Green Lantern aren’t available. Then — if Wonder Woman is one of her “moods” — it’s definitely a job for Aquaman. You’ll just have to buy his plane ticket to get him from the ocean to the Great Lakes.
Aquaman!
* Wisdom of the Day from Sean Thomason:
In modern usage, “Santa Fe” translates roughly to “there’s corn in it.”
* If you live in Michigan or Arizona, remember to vote in the primary today. If Romney doesn’t win in Michigan, it’s supposed to be doom for him. Then we may end up with Santorum as our nominee — who could be a huge disaster in the general election. Or possibly more electable. Though maybe Romney is better positioned because everyone already knows his faults and there will be no surprises. Or no one will vote for him because no one likes him. Then again, perhaps Newt Gingrich is the only one who will actually energize people with a positive view of America and its future. Or he’ll say something stupid and implode as he always does. So anyway… RON PAUL!
I thought Santa Fe was an LGBT version of Santa Claus.
In modern chemistry, Santa Fe is the patron saint of iron.
The Supreme Court, Aquaman, Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman all useless against the invading foreign horde.
Thank goodness we can rely on these real Americans who are willing to step up and take one in the junk for their country!
F’n Illinois! Nothing good has come outta there since Lincoln.
The SCOTUS won’t act because they already resolved this when they slapped down the Chicago gun ban. Flatlanders – just get some guns and shoot the carp!
Aquaman can’t come to the Great Lakes until the St. Lawrence Seaway re-opens in spring. He’s kind of a fair-weather SuperFriend in that regard.
No way — ROCKquaman could have this solved quickly. Remember, he can survive fine on land as long as he contacts water once an hour. Kind of like some of my friends, but with booze. Mr. Curry could just summon the evil invader carp up on dry land to die. The only problems are:
1) Killing stuff probably violates some Super Friends code, and
2) Not sure a load of decaying fish is much better as an outcome.
As for Afghanistan, I was in favor of Bush’s generous “hearts and minds” approach, but ten years later I’m thinking I should have backed Derbyshire’s “Rubble doesn’t cause trouble” approach. As my pal Tim used to say, turn the sand to glass and it’s Miller time.
@DamnCat: That was a little like Kung Fu Fighting because those guys were fast as lightning, and they fished with with expert timing, but it was a little bit frightening. Well, I’d be frightened if I had a guy swinging a nail studded bat next to me on water skis.
When the Great Lakes have been ruined, some will wonder why we didn’t do all we could. Aquaman will cry.
Exit thought: The Mediterranean is being overrun and killed by a plant that was bred for home aquariums. Soooooo, guess who was the director of the French National Aquarium when said aquarium released this foreign plant into the Med? Well, that’d be none other than famed environmentalist Jacques Q. Cousteau.
well, I guess all that’s left to do now is go to the UN and ask for a non-binding resolution on the carp – with hard work, negotiating, and some old fashioned bribery, in a couple of years we might get a mildly-worded letter sent from the UN explaining to the carp how we’d all really appreciated if they’d just knock it off and stick to living in Asia. It worked for….um….well….I can’t think of a good example where that’s worked but the UN’s only been around for 50-some years…they’re doing their best. This might be the time it works and then it would all be totally worth it.
Afghanistan is a perfect example of why this whole thing has been mishandled. I appreciate us attempting to both wage war and yet be humanitarian at the same time but seeing a that’s even ridiculous to type – nevermind attempt – it’s time to learn from this and move on. Our policy needs to be “We’re the USA. We won’t bomb/destroy your people as long as you extend the same courtesy. Hurt us because you’re upset about something else and your country will become a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally big parking lot.” The end.
@coldguy
Q: What’s the best thing to come out of Illinois?
A: I-74
Yeah, Carolyn, you ought to hear what some of our guys are saying about Afghanicantstandit. My youngest just came back from his second, full-year tour.
“Hell hole”
“God-forsaken place”
“Dung heap”
“Armpit”
Unfortunately, the United States does not have a history of destroying its enemies let alone creating anything but small parking lots.
“When so many people riot and murder over a couple books being burned, you do start to wonder what exactly it is we hope to achieve over there.”
This “nation building” in Afghanistan and Iraq is pretty much the same thing as attempting to introduce the concept of personal responsibility to a herd of cats (no offense to DamnCat intended). You can pretend that someday it will work, and spend as much time and money as you want in training, but they’ll never learn to clean their own litterbox.
Heck, Son o’ Bob, we’d be all right if they just did the equivalent of using the litter box.
So in other words, if a bunch of illegal immigrant fish want to invade, they won’t stop them. Sounds like business as usual to me.
When Muslims fight other Muslims, they burn each others’ mosques to the ground. Inside mosques are Korans.
Theoretically speaking, Korans are not to be defaced. Most elementary school children understand that writing in a school book constitutes defacement, especially when said writing consists of “secret” messages for someone else.
But what is expected from the religion of that avoids sin of an unmarried man and woman staying in one room by requiring that the woman breastfeed the man.
Moderation in 3…2…1…
Wow. I got away with that.
Well, here they riot because people who have jobs make money, which is worse?
I’ve often wondered how much more effective our bombs would be if each one included a piece of pork…it seems to have done wonders in Israel where authorities have placed pork on buses and in public areas to discourage Muslims from suicide bombing public transportation and public places.
I’m guessing that dropping pork out of airplanes is much cheaper and far less destructive than dropping actual munitions…and may potentially be far more effective.
UAV spots a terrorist meeting? drop a pig carcass through their roof. Problem with cars packed with explosives at checkpoints? Load the checkpoints with bacon or pack ham sandwiches for lunch for all the troops that work there. Angry villagers rioting in the streets because you burned some book? set up a wood chippers by the perimeter, open a couple of cans of spam…well you get the idea.
…and if you think that this is insensitive or otherwise uncouth – as the old saying goes, “war is Hell”. To attempt to make it anything else defeats the purpose of the war in the first place. Maybe after our recent military involvements the saying should be changed to “war SHOULD be Hell”.
Blarg, why would anyone waste good pork on ragheads? Blasphemy I tells ya! Remember! Pork; GOOD! ragheaded retards; BAD.
Doesn’t Aquaman drown in fresh water?
Aquaman tried to get a bus to the great lakes, but the ballet company kidnapped him.
Simple solutrion: Feed the ows hippies to the carp and then send them to iran when they die. Could be a century or more before anyone realizes a pile of dead fish and hippies in their country is what smells so bad.
I ain’t no dang tree hugger (My favorite sport is sprint car racing, for crying out loud), but before we make fun of people who want to stop carp, let us remember that a lot of jobs and money are on the line with ecosystems – and especially fisheries. An ecosystem is a terrible thing to screw up.
With that being said, I don’t have a big problem with this particular court decision.
Well, you know, we wouldn’t have had a carp problem in the first place if we hadn’t endlessly carpet bombed them — then we occupy their native habitat, build walls to keep them out, send nut cases with studded bats and pitchforks after them, and we wonder why they jump out of the water en masse, trying to whack their oppressors unconscious?
RONPOLLOCK2012!!1!!!!1!!!
MarkoMancuso: Are you afraid they’re going to take our jobs? Don’t worry – they’re just going to do the jobs American fish won’t do.
plentyobailouts: don’t confuse good pork with Spam or pig feet and tails. It’s just as valid a pork product, and far less delicious. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make to win the War on Terror.
My favorite vanity plate of all time was “HI HO AG” on a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow.
Can’t we just use pig sh!t? What could be more unclean to an Islamofascist than that which has passed through the anus of a pig? And, that way, we Germanic Volk won’t be deprived of necessary Wurst and “head cheese” ingredients.
@crabby: now you’re making me hungry. Why use something that just passed thru when we can share the thing itself? Chit’lins For Peace!
Wonder how you say “chitlins” in Arabic?
Halal chitlins? That’s not kosher.
I like the pig poop plan. Drop a few MOAPB’s (Mother of All Pig Bombs) on the Kyber Pass, and Bob’s yer uncle, no more infiltration.
I claim thinking up of the Pig Air Bomb. It’s kinda like a fuel air bomb, but it’s filled with pig blood. Aerosol pig blood. Who needs DARPA to think these things up?
And while I’m busy figguring things out, don’t forget the old trout fishermen’s saying, “The fish always rise for dynamite.” Governors are in charge of National Guards. National Guards have ordinance, and carp don’t surf.
My uncle Fred told me they are, if you find a grain of corn in them. No, wait, he was a Marine, not a Mullah. I guess that’s different.
Crabby Old Bat says: Can’t we just use pig sh!t?
we could…but then we’d have to be within smelling distance of a sack of pig sh!t whenever we were in public. At least Spam and jars of pig’s feet come in a convenient odor-free container.
By the bye, pig fat has been used tactically. During the nineteenth century, the British employed paper cartridges. Firing a paper cartridge requires that the shooter bite through the cartridge paper, which is usually lubricated. At times Britain’s enemies spread rumors amongst local British forces that the cartridges were lubricated with pig fat (bad for Muslims) or beef fat (bad for Hindus).
There was some truth to these rumors which ultimately became the “final spark” that caused the India Rebellion of 1857.
“high-pressure underwater guns”?
Look out, Aquaman! it’s a trap!
“Like Spam through a wood chipper” kind of has a ring to it….maybe that should be a thing…