* The Florida primary is today. In all likelihood, Romney is going to win handily. In fact, if he doesn’t win handily, it would be like the hugest shock ever and he probably wouldn’t recover.

But he’ll win handily. And Gingrich will carry on. And so probably will Santorum as he doesn’t have anything better to do. That goes double for Ron Paul. When will this horrible primary end? I don’t know. I’m just tired of it; it’s awful. At least we won’t end it this time with McCain as our nominee.

* You know the RNC chair whose name looks like that of a Ronulan — Reince Priebus? Well, he’s actually kind of cool. He compared President Obama to Captain Schettino, that Italian captain who ran a cruise ship aground and fled. His counterpart, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, called that “incendiary,” but it’s hard to dispute the facts of the comparison. The best you could do is, “Obama is nothing like Captain Schettino — Obama doesn’t even speak Italian. Plus, it’s hard to imagine someone trusting him with a boat in the first place.”

* Obama famously got in a spat with Governor Jan Brewer, and Governor Jindal says the same thing happened with him. Apparently, Obama is really thin-skinned and likes to try to be theatrical for the press. Who knew a community organizer and legislator who mainly voted “present” wasn’t going to be up to the gravity of the job?

This only stresses the importance of having a Republican candidate who will really go after Obama in the debates. We need to cook that wiener while everyone is watching.

* You ever get the idea that Obama has a thing against religion? He recently got a 9-0 decision against him when he tried to tell religious organizations who they could and couldn’t hire, and now he’s trying to force religious organizations to pay for contraceptives and morning after pills even if they’re morally opposed. What’s the chance the same Supreme Court is going to uphold that one? This is like how a militant atheist would mindlessly antagonize churches to no real purpose. What exactly does Obama bitterly cling to? Probably nothing as American as guns and religion.

* As pointed out in Best of the Web (the “Three Papers in One!” item), the New York Times has published an editorial calling for the end to the filibuster. This is a change of position from 2005 when, while Bush was president, they expressed support for the filibuster — that being a change of position from 1995 when, while Clinton was president, they called for the end of the filibuster. So this is pretty consistent for them — they’re consistently partisan hacks.

Do you know there are people who take the New York Times seriously? Or maybe that’s just an urban legend. Like bigfoot.

* Wisdom of the Day from Lauren Ashley Bishop:

groupon are you crazy if i had laser hair i would never get it removed

* While less than a week ago people were expecting Gingrich to win Florida coming off his big South Carolina win, Romney is now expected to win it easily tomorrow. Intrade now has Romney at an almost 97% chance of winning.

So what then? More talk of Romney inevitability? He is the one with the resources to compete in all the states, and Gingrich has shown he can’t stay on top for very long without flaming out. And Santorum… people like him, but they just don’t take him seriously as a presidential candidate.

And frankly, I’m tried of this. I want to focus on the two man race and bashing Obama. I am excited for the constant, public campaign about how Obama is failure and needs to be thrown out of office. I’ve kind of gotten to the point I don’t care who the other guy is we’re replacing Obama with as long as he’s an other guy. He won’t be great, but he’ll be someone else.

* Obama has been weasly on how much his raising taxes on the rich will bring in, but estimate are it will be about 4% of the annual deficit. So all this time and energy spent on something that isn’t going to help us any (and by taking money from those who actually know how to use it well and giving it instead to the idiots in D.C., will probably hurt us some); do you ever get the feeling that a lot of what Obama does is just to try and distract dumb, jealous people from what a horrible job he’s doing as president? He should get that fireball up his sleeve device Gob Bluth had and use that as a distraction whenever anyone tries to nail him down on a question.

“Ooh! Pretty fire! What were we talking about?”

* Right Wing News has a poll up of right-leaning bloggers on the presidential elections (I participated). Gingrich has a plurality of support, but a majority think Mitt Romney is the most electable. I agree with them, but I don’t get the big Romney boosters (such as the over the top Ann Coulter lately). They seem like a variation of the underwear gnomes.

Phase 1: Pick most electable candidate.
Phase 2: Win presidency.
Phase 3: ??

We need big change to do anything about the size of government and the amount of debt we have. And while a Romney presidency would be less bad than another Obama term, it still seems rather pointless in the long run.

* Obama is the most polarizing president ever. But he was supposed to unite the country with his nice-talking and articulateness and vague good things he was going to do for this country.

If we one day get a time machine, we really need to go back to 2008 and just start slapping everyone super enthused about an Obama presidency and never stop. Right after we do the same thing to the supporters of the 16th Amendment.

* From Conan O’Brien, here’s Guy Fieri eating in reverse:

I’m not sure who Guy Fieri is, but he’s just one of those guys you’re sure you hate as soon as you look at him. And look at this recent tweet from him:

“Goin’ big in Vegas for some Runnin’ Rebel style DDD…”

Why replace the ‘g’ with an apostrophe? It saves no typing and just makes you look like an idiot. I just don’t understand the world.

* There was another — yes, another! — debate last night. Luckily, I had to work late and completely missed the whole thing. Another advantage of gainful employment.

Anyway, I heard that there was a long discussion of moon bases during it. I don’t like moon bases. That could ruin my nuke the moon plans. People would say, “You can’t nuke the moon; there’s a moon base there.” And I wouldn’t know how to respond to that. So a moon base is a horrible idea.

Consensus on the debate seems to be that Newt blew his chance to regain any momentum. Intrade now has Romney back to having an over 90% chance of winning Florida, so we’re back to “Romney is inevitable and nothing can stop him!” mode. So let’s once again practice being Romney boosters.

Here’s my new attempt at a Romney slogan:

“Romney 2012: Much like the T-800 in Terminator 2, he’s been reprogrammed to be on our side.”

* Hey, Biden is adding accents to his routine. After the election and we’re all celebrating acknowledging that Romney is president, he and Obama should develop a vaudeville routine and travel the country. Obama would be the Abbot and Biden the Costello. Part of the routine would be Biden constantly accidentally saying racist things about Obama while Obama just tries to ignore it — basically what he does in his presidency now.

“Hey, Obama!”

* Yet another Democrat has accused Republicans of being terrorists. I know I’ve made this point before, but it’s worth saying again: Obviously conservatives aren’t terrorists because liberals still exist. There are many more conservatives than liberals, we have lots of guns, we have the majorities in the military, so we if we ever did decide to be terrorists and kill all the liberals, it would probably take about a weekend. But we don’t, because that would mean. Still, it would be nice for liberals to acknowledge every once in a while that the only reason they exist is because conservatives eschew violence against others just because they disagree with them. In fact, they should give us a cash reward for how nice we are. We should demand that.

* James Taranto found this silly article about “colorblind racism”. I didn’t actually read it as the Orwellian title tells you all you need to know. If you’re arguing than one can’t end racism unless we still focus on race, you’re actually not arguing against racism. What you’re arguing is that you still need it and don’t want it to end.

* Here’s a letter signed by sixteen scientists (Science!) that there is no compelling need for drastic measures against global warming. I like how at the beginning the letter points out the use of “incontrovertible” by those arguing for global warming. There is no incontrovertible in science (there is in Science! but not science); if something is incontrovertible, it’s gone from science to dogma. Part of the problem of the whole global warming craze is its damage to the idea of what science really is. The anti-science people are really the ones who prop science up as some unquestionable religion when that’s never what true science would claim to be.

So we need more education for people on how to tell “science” from “Science!”.

* Wisdom of the Day from Michael J. Nelson:

Barry White’s songs are less romantic if you imagine, with precise detail, Barry White making love.

* Intrade has Romney back up to about a 75% chance of winning the Florida primary and 80% chance of winning the nomination. It looks like the brief flirtation with Newt has ended as quickly and as quietly as the last time. And it’s not like Newt has done anything specific to lose support (and neither did he last time either), it’s just people sort of sober up and say, “I don’t know if this is a great idea.”

Still, it was nice to imagine for a bit that Romney wasn’t going to be our nominee. We can still hold out hopes for a brokered convention. What’s life without more hopes to see dashed?

* Timothy Geithner says a second term for him is unlikely. He wants to spend more time with his family learning to use Turbo Tax.

Maybe we should give him a going away party. Oh wait, we have no money for that. Instead, we should put him on an ice floe and push him out to sea.

* Only one of the presidential candidates is vowing to conquer space: Newt Gingrich. He has plans for a permanent moon base in eight years, and then we head to Mars. As the years go by, though, it’s become obvious that getting a man on the moon was a one time fluke of competency by the federal government, and we can hardly count on them to repeat that feat — at least not without Soviets breathing down our necks.

Still, we need to get to space. Eventually, abandoning Earth and starting a libertarian colony on Mars will be the last option left to save ourselves.

* Jay Leno is getting sued by Sikhs for showing a picture of one of their holy buildings, the Golden Temple, and claiming it is Mitt Romney’s summer home. Come on. I’m all for pretending to respect other religions, but if you make a giant golden temple, people are going to joke about it being a rich man’s summer home. That’s just reality. Deal with it.

* So Warren Buffet has a secretary who is either paid like a rich executive or just really horrible at doing her taxes. And because of her we’re supposed to take money from people who have demonstrated they know how to be smart with money and give it to people in Washington D.C. who have repeatedly demonstrated they’re complete idiots with money.

I’m getting tired of this stupidity. We just need to start deporting people. I don’t care where. There are just too many idiots and we need them out of the way if we want to get this country on track.

* Wisdom of the Day from Drew Cline:

I don’t mind that Obama uses a TelePrompter. I do mind that he won’t acknowledge it took the job of a union-wage cue card holder.

* How thick is your bubble?

How Thick Is Your Bubble? Guest Score » 11 out of 20  (55% )  Result   On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 9 and 12. In other words, even if you’re part of the new upper class, you’ve had a lot of exposure to the rest of America. Quiz School Take this quiz & get your score

* I’m in the New York Post again!

Yeah, I know I’ve been having a column with them about once a week, but aren’t you amazed each time? Anyway, this one is on why it’s good to have a food stamp president and that government dependency is just a good idea.

Really, who would you rather take care of you? Cold, self-interested individuals or a warm, caring government?

* Obama gave his State of Union speech last night. I did not watch it. I’m paid enough for that. Sounds like it was a basically a rehash of all his previous ideas like they were brand new ideas. It’s like we’ve tried a little of the same and that didn’t work, so Obama’s solution is we need even more of the same. Plus, Obama added some more harping on fairness.

Yes, really; a rich Democrat whining about fairness. How innovative. It really is the party of new ideas.

And isn’t that just what the economy needs: more whining about fairness? No one even pretends taxing the rich will help the economy, but the Democrat can’t get off that because whining is more important to them than success as a nation.

Barack Obama is not a serious person and apparently has no intentions of ever being so. People keep talking about how weak the Republican field is, but our multiple bad choice sure beats the Democrats single horrible choice. We aren’t going to be forced to run a proven failure for president, so advantage us.

* One thing I’ve been wondering. With all the focus on the evil millionaires, is anyone going to point out how Obama is rich. And it really does seems unfair how rich he is considering he has no useful skills and has produced no goods or services his entire life. If Obama really wants to attack our economic system as unfair, shouldn’t he hold himself up as the ultimate example? “You’re working hard every day and barely getting by. I’m completely useless and only had previously held made up jobs like community organizer and yet somehow ended up rich. Obviously, the system is rigged. I won’t rest until we live in a fair country — a place where a useless person like me lives destitute on the street instead of playing golf every other day.” As I’ve said before, we’d take the left more seriously if they held themselves up as the examples of the ills they don’t like, but that would take self-awareness so it’s not going to happen.

* According to his tax returns, Romney gave over 15% of his income to charity in 2010-2011. And what are people upset at? Not more of that was taken by the government to be wasted by idiots in DC.

Looking at Obama back in 2000-2004 before much of a spotlight was on him, Obama gave less than one percent to charity. You know, because he’s a liberal and his charity is to urge the government to seize other people’s money. And before Biden was vice president, he gave an average of $369 dollars a year to charity. Come on! These are the same people complaining about the greedy rich, but they cling to their own money more tightly than anyone else. Where is the press on this extreme hypocrisy? Obviously anytime the left is complaining about greed in others, it’s nothing but projection. And now we know where they get this impulse for taxation — they know how greedy they are and can’t imagine someone giving up money to help others unless it is forcibly taken. And in the end, what’s more greedy than only spending other people’s money to help the needy?

* Wisdom of the Day from Fred Thompson:

Warren Buffett now says his offer to help pay down the natl debt was merely “symbolic.” Ah… sorta like an Obama “stimulus” program.

* Well, I had some doubts about Newt Gingrich, but it’s time to give those up since FRED THOMPSON HAS ENDORSED HIM!

As you may recall, after careful consideration, IMAO decided to endorse Fred Thompson in the 2008 primary.

Fred Thompson Fact: If you have doubts about Newt’s electability, Fred Thompson will punch you in the face so hard your body will explode.

* While Fred Thompson was endorsing Newt last night, there was the 34,567th Republican debate going on — which I assume will be the last since they’re rather pointless now that Fred Thompson has told us who to choose. Romney was on the attack –hitting Newt on his ties to Fannie and Freddie — and actually came off a little desperate. And for some reason they didn’t allow the audience to make any noise, which seemed to hamper Newt who always likes getting the audience riled. Anyway, I only watched part of it; it was boring. And I had a lot of important things to do in Skyrim.

* Romney released his tax returns and he paid $6.2 million in taxes in the last two years. Think of it; that’s millions of dollars that could have been invested in business or given to charity to help people, but instead that money went to Washington to die. It’s very sad.

* Rand Paul was detained by the TSA for not wanting them to touch his junk. The White House was quick to defend the TSA saying, “We’ll touch whoever’s junk we want whenever we feel like it! Your junk is our property!”

Well, there’s another contrast the Republicans can make with Obama for the 2012: The Democrats are the party of junk-touching. I don’t know how big the pervert vote is, but I don’t think it will be enough to ensure Obama a win.

* A memo from Larry Summers has revealed what was the strategy for Obama’s economics plans, and it ends up it was more about advancing a liberal agenda of green nonsense and what not than actually helping the economy. Plus they knew they were heading towards a cliff on debt but decided not to care.

And it’s known that Warren Buffet is going to be a guest for the State of the Union tonight to help Obama push for more taxes on the rich because that will help the economy by…

There is no logical conclusion to that sentence.

As bad as the Republican primary has looked, it’s important to remember that the least serious candidate for president is the incumbent.

* Wisdom of the Day from Basil:

What happens if an unelectable Republican runs against an unreelectable Democrat?