For 2012, I have composed a list of resolutions for the new year. I have reviewed the list and removed the items that I really don’t mean, and left the ones that have the best chance of being kept. That might not be in the true spirit of resolutions, but at least it’s honest.

I hereby resolve to:

• do a better job of helping out around the house
• be respectful of liberals
• not think everyone who voted for Obama is an idiot
• not throw rocks at the neighbors’ dogs
• not make fun of rednecks
• not make fun of yankees
• not think everyone who voted for Obama is a moron
• be a role model for children
• pay attention when my wife is talking
• apologize when I’m wrong
• compliment people more often
• become a serious blogger
• stop recycling old posts
• not think everyone who voted for Obama is a dumbass
• sprout wings and fly

Best wishes for a safe, prosperous, and happy 2012.