Archive of entries posted on 3rd January 2012

lolterizt! Part 148

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NOTE: Big thanks to those who answered last week’s call for more lolterizt! submissions. I got what I needed (as you can see below) – you guys are awesome!

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

From Dr. Jingo:

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From James:

From Kris:

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From Kris:

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From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

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My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

From Carl:

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From Dan:

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From James:

From Jim:

From Jim:

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From Jim:

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From Mike:

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From Travelwise42:

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This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Larsinkima for Herbie. I assume everyone’s familiar enough with Frank’s writings that no one needed to click the links for Dr. Jingo and Dan.

What say you?

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nuke the News: I’m Back!

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* Well, that was a nice break. A week of no political writing. Which means I’m going to have to ease myself back in here. Anyway, it’s now 2012 — a presidential election year! Exciting! I mean, we read about politics all the time, but this is when it starts becoming everyone’s interest. So, will we be able to get rid of Obama? Stay tuned to IMAO to find out as we’ll be the only one reporting on it!

* BTW, I did post a couple things during my vacation. I had a new column in the New York Post, and got an Axe Cop parody of my book cover. Axe Cop might be a good symbol for the Tea Party. He’d cut government. With an axe.

* So what’s in the news… Oh, Iowa. How exciting. I guess the caucus is today, and then we don’t need to speak of Iowa again for another four years. Of interest will be how well Ron Paul does as that will tell us how easily we can dismiss the whole thing as idiotic. Then it’s on to New Hampshire, and barring meteors or other unforeseen events, Romney will be pretty close to sewing the whole thing up leading I’m quite sure to a national discussion on Mormonism until November.

Hey, we had our chance to bring down Romney, but no one was able to land a blow on him despite him seeming to have a glass jaw with Romneycare. Well, if we couldn’t bring him down, hopefully that means Obama won’t be able to either. Anyway, it’s nice having a candidate we openly despise — that means it will be hard for us to be disappointed. Maybe we’ll be pleasantly surprised.

But probably not.

* In other news, Iran is being threatening again. Or is still being threatening. Is someone going to do something about them and the nukes they’re working on? Obama probably won’t, but Israel, you’re right there; why don’t you do something? It’s not like whatever you do will cause the Middle East to like you less. I say go crazy.

* Crowder has a new video on debating liberals about Occupy Wall Street:

I find the best argument to be “Shut up, hippie!” and them punch them in the face. No good retort to that.

* And that’s it for now. Tune in tomorrow for a very important discussion of the Iowa results! 2012 only gets more exciting from here! I like exclamation points!

Random Thoughts

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So is Occupy Wall Street still a thing?

If you think Ron Paul has an actual chance to be president, the kind of lusional you are is the “de” kind.

“Happy Christmas and other holidays that we give added importance to because they occur near Christmas!” sounds more honest.

I like Krampus. Leave it to Germans to say, “Know what the joy of Christmas needs? A scary demon that eats children.”

“If you love Christmas so much, why don’t you just merry it?”

I think there’s more photographic evidence of the Loch Ness monster and bigfoot than there is that anyone actually celebrates Kwanzaa.

One of my favorite Dr. Suess books is much more racist than I remembered. “If I Ran the Zoo” was one of my favorites as a child, but the Asian and African caricatures are a little much.

I can’t wait for the day we’re no longer dependent on corn and can ignore Iowa.

For extra professionalism, I always speak with an English accent when answering the phone.

To make sure it’s sanitary, I boil all my water and then filter it through ground coffee.

Mission Impossible ::SPOILER:: – The mission wasn’t impossible, just very difficult.

Saw there is going to be a sequel to Clash of the Titans; I hope the trailer has the line “Release the Kraken… again!”

One thing I didn’t get about Mission Impossible: Why did the bad guy impersonate his own henchman? Was a twist to no purpose.

Liked the teaser for the next Mission Impossible film:
“Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to use ‘orange’ in a rhyme.”
“That’s impossible!”

“Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to lick your own elbow.” #MissionImpossible

“But won’t it be hard to identify who’s crazy on the internet?”
“That’s why I came up with my new invention: the Caps Lock key.”

Having withdrawal from finally beating The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Keep thinking there must be more Zelda to play. Took me more than a month to get through it. Long game, but very engaging all the way through. Was it the best Zelda ever? Not quite sure, but certainly a contender.

I predict no more than two or three more sucky years until our country has its groove back.

Been playing that Skyrim game. How come a mammoth is harder to kill than a dragon?

Also been playing the new Batman game. I get the feeling he just likes beating people up. At least when played by me. There will be a group of thugs standing around, menacing no one, and I’ll jump in and leave them all unconscious and get rewarded for it.

Tip if you’re new to Skyrim: Mammoths and giants won’t bother you if you don’t bother them. Don’t bother them.

This was my past week: “Baby is asleep; time for video games!” Back to work today.

The root cause of crime is people not getting punched in the face by a guy dressed as a bat.

How many billionaires does our country have? Would any of them make a good Batman?

If one billionaire starts running around punching poor people, soon all will be doing it.