* Well, that was a nice break. A week of no political writing. Which means I’m going to have to ease myself back in here. Anyway, it’s now 2012 — a presidential election year! Exciting! I mean, we read about politics all the time, but this is when it starts becoming everyone’s interest. So, will we be able to get rid of Obama? Stay tuned to IMAO to find out as we’ll be the only one reporting on it!
* BTW, I did post a couple things during my vacation. I had a new column in the New York Post, and got an Axe Cop parody of my book cover. Axe Cop might be a good symbol for the Tea Party. He’d cut government. With an axe.
* So what’s in the news… Oh, Iowa. How exciting. I guess the caucus is today, and then we don’t need to speak of Iowa again for another four years. Of interest will be how well Ron Paul does as that will tell us how easily we can dismiss the whole thing as idiotic. Then it’s on to New Hampshire, and barring meteors or other unforeseen events, Romney will be pretty close to sewing the whole thing up leading I’m quite sure to a national discussion on Mormonism until November.
Hey, we had our chance to bring down Romney, but no one was able to land a blow on him despite him seeming to have a glass jaw with Romneycare. Well, if we couldn’t bring him down, hopefully that means Obama won’t be able to either. Anyway, it’s nice having a candidate we openly despise — that means it will be hard for us to be disappointed. Maybe we’ll be pleasantly surprised.
But probably not.
* In other news, Iran is being threatening again. Or is still being threatening. Is someone going to do something about them and the nukes they’re working on? Obama probably won’t, but Israel, you’re right there; why don’t you do something? It’s not like whatever you do will cause the Middle East to like you less. I say go crazy.
* Crowder has a new video on debating liberals about Occupy Wall Street:
I find the best argument to be “Shut up, hippie!” and them punch them in the face. No good retort to that.
* And that’s it for now. Tune in tomorrow for a very important discussion of the Iowa results! 2012 only gets more exciting from here! I like exclamation points!
“I like exclamation points!”
AS LONG AS YOU DON’T RESORT TO ALL CAPS, FRANK!!!
Iowa is a state? like one of the 50 United States? Huh, all this time I thought it was that Void area like when you dig too deep in Minecraft. weird
“Hey, we had our chance to bring down Romney, but no one was able to land a blow on him…”
Who’s “we”? I wasn’t there. If I had, things would have gone very differently for Romney in those debates.
Not only is Iowa one of the 57 states (insisting there are only 50 is RACIST!!1!), it is home of the annual Blue Ribbon Bacon! Festival. (This year’s theme: “Baconpocalypse Now: I love the smell of bacon in the morning.”) February 12, in Des Moines: Be there, or be hungry!
http://www.blueribbonbaconfestival.com/
Did I hear that Santorum is surging? Do the nominally conservative talking heads not have this figgured yet? It’s the anyone but Romney vote. Much of this block is composed of Tea Party folks, a million of whom drove to Washington to try to head off Obama-Romney-Care.
We’ll dance with anyone else who seems to have a fighting chance: Bachman, Perry, Cain, Gingrich, Paul, with calls to Christie and other non-candidates. Each have surged in succession, while Romnical has not picked up votes when each have stumbled. Now, we dance with Santorum and from what I know about him, I like him. I know that he’s not Romney, and he’s not crazy.
My standards are low.
I would like to add that if Santorum tanks, I’m throwing my weight behind candidate potato. Most likely an IdeeHO tater.
Who is this Frank guy? I thought this was Basil’s Blog
BTW Frank, while you were gone on vacation, this blog has been OCCUPIED BY OCCUPY IMAO!!!!11!1
Yeah Ron Paul! So why is everyone on this blog so stupid? Is it because Frank’s strange unfunny words attract morons?
I find the best argument to be “Shut up, hippie!” and them punch them in the face. No good retort to that.
“Can’t we just shoot them?” Fiona Glenanne, Burn Notice. http://www.usanetwork.com/series/burnnotice/theshow/characterprofiles/fiona/index.html
Any state who’s people have attitudes like this can’t be all bad……1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Jonesy’s. It’s a
diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you upset the ladies in the kitchen they’ll kick your a$$.
2) Don’t laugh at the names of our little towns (Greeley, Strawberry
Point, Cresco, etc.) or we will have to kick your a$$.
3) Don’t order a bottle or a can of soda here. Here it’s called
“pop”. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an a$$-kicking.
4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you. We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hicks or we’ll kick your a$$.
5) We have plenty of business sense. You have to make a living
here. Naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment from time to time, but we are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would have kicked her a$$.
6) Don’t laugh at our giant fiberglass strawberries and our Five
Seasons trees made out of metal. Anything that inspires tourists to buy 50,000 postcards can’t be bad. And in Cedar Rapids don’t point at the genitalia on Frank and laugh or we’ll kick your a$$.
7) We are fully aware of how cold it gets here in the winter, so
shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here or we’ll kick your a$$.
8) Don’t order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone
will instantly know that you’re a tourist. Eat your steak well-done like God intended and have some potatoes with it, for heaven’s sake! Also, don’t ask what a hot dish is or we’ll kick your a$$.
9) Don’t try to fake an Iowa accent. We don’t have an accent. Do NOT mention the movie “Field of Dreams” because that will incite a riot and you will get your a$$ kicked.
10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited big-city hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and New York and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Interstate 80 is ready when you are. Move your a$$ on home before it gets kicked.
11) Don’t complain that Iowa is flat and that all you can see is corn and hogs. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty we’ll kick your a$$ all the way back to California.
12) Don’t ridicule our mannerisms. We only speak when spoken to. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet, little grey-haired grandmothers or they will kick some manners into your a$$ just like they did ours.
13) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in a
corn field? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in
filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or LA. Make fun of our fresh air and we’ll kick your a$$.
14) Writing it “Ioway City, Home of the Hogeyes” is NOT a joke.
Your a$$ will be kicked.
15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come out here and tell us
how Iowa should “go back to the Indians.” This will get your a$$ shot right after it gets kicked. Just mention this once and you will go home in a pine box. Minus your a$$.
Now enjoy your visit and then go home.
I’m goin’ to the Blue Ribbon Bacon! Festival in Iowa with Crabby. Don’t kick my ass, zzyzx!
Iowa does sound a bit like Walmart, however,
“Welcome to
WalmartIowa. Get your sh!t and get out.”Zzyzx kicks no mans a$$ for eating bacon. Neither, I suspect, do the people of Iowa.
http://homepages.rpi.edu/~markhn/sounds/Bacon.wav
Bacon…
The Iowa Hawkeyes football team went a very mediocre 7-6 this year while their rivals, the Iowa State Cyclones, went a very mediocre 6-7. And yet both teams are more nationally relevant than this caucus.
This nomination process is so silly. It’s one of the primary reasons for my status as an independent.
Bantha,
I’ve never gone that deep. Are there creepers there? I know there are creepers in my nightmares.
P.S. WELCOME BACK, FRANK, YOU LOVABLE IDAHO FREAK!
zzyzx,
Not one mention of Dan Gable (Michael Jordan is the Dan Gable of basketball) kicking a$$? Tsk tsk.
Iowa has the first caucus. Heh heh…. I said CAUCus.
CarolynthePregnant, you can only use that word if you’re Caucasian or from the Caucasus.
I’m with Jimmy. Walter for President 2012!!1! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_XP8FK5460
The rest of you, “Shut the hell up!”
It sounds like CarolynthePregnant is already Carolyn the Mom. That is the remark of someone who has logged some serious hours with sniggering kids. (“I’m telling Mom you said CAUCus!” Well, I’M telling because YOU just said CAUCus!” “I’m telling ’cause YOU said it TWICE!” [Punch.] “OWWWW!!! MOMMMMM!!!!!!”)
Hee. All those caps (response to Carolyn the Pregnant, not up yet) got me moderated. They think I’m a RON PAUL!!1!! troll.
Just got back from my caucus, and to let you know how irrelevant they are, Ron Paul won it.
That’s right, the Ron Paul crazies were out in full effect. When it was announced he won it, they all had a collective Rongasm.
Hey, CarolynthePregnant, when are you due to become CarolyntheMom?
Well Burmashave, I’m glad you asked.
I’m due March 19 and here’s the link to the baby pool (Jimmy is already on board):
http://bebepool.com/go/?a=Catasterfe&view=list
Winner of the baby pool wins something way cooler than High Praise!
Though FYI, I’m already the mom. Just about to be mom to another. 🙂
Me! Me! Me! I’m gonna win the baby pool! (You guys should enter but really blow the date, okay?)
Carolyn – all the Conservative Mom’s here are already cooler than all of IMAO’s High Praise put together.
(Wow – I really know how to suck up, don’t I? Hey! Back off! I’ve got Crabby with me.)
I chose Independence Day. A kid named Lewis Puller [last name] ought to be born on Independence Day.