36 Comments

  1. Industry experts now predict that the car of the future will… be built by Government Motors, and work just as excellently as Nobamacare.

    …. will have an Anonymiss cookie detector as an accessory… for a small fee, of course.

  2. …feature an aerodynamic profile, boast an ergonomic design, an emission system that will only emit water and C02, an ultra-environmentally sensitive drive train, and promote user health. It will be a bicycle…

  3. Industry experts now predict that the car of the future will…

    … be subject to the ObamaDontCare 9-9-9 plan: 9 miles per gallon, $9 per gallon, $90,000 deductible.

    … bankrupt Detroit. Oh wait, the Government Motors cars of the present already did that.

    … combine all of the award winning features of the Edsel and the Volt and be called the BHO, another name known for its utter uselessness.

  4. be…. Let’s just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders and two-way sneeze wind vents, star-studded mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped air conditioned factory! It’s a beautiful car, friends, with doors to match! Birch’s Blacklist says this car was stolen but for you, friends, a complete price: only two-ninety-five hundred dollars in easy monthly payments of twenty dollars a week, twice a week and never on Sunday!

  5. …come equiped with exploding airbags. Cheaper models will feature the likes of Michael Moore, Alec Baldwin and Chris Matthews while luxury vehicles sporting liberals with hearts and brains will make careless and reckless driving a daily pastime. At least until all one of them are used up.

    …coaster brakes and a little basket on front to put your dignity in.

  6. Get $10,000,000 in donations per pipeline.
    Come with complimentary Obamacare fuzzy dice.
    Feature an automatic cookie dispenser (you know the ones).
    Collision insurance is available only through your state exchange.
    Be held together entirely by Biden-Landrieu 2016 bumper stickers.
    Only drives in reverse while the radio blames it all on Bush.
    Free rims for all voters in blue states.
    Congressmen will get specially equipped versions that can run entirely on hot air.
    Kale-based fuel cells.

  7. …be designed by Sandra Fluke and be equipped with four on the floor. And four in the glove box. Four on the back seat, four in the front, four in the trunk. Four two-packs for Sundays and four guys who drop by to wash and wax your interior.

    …will be marketed with an Executive Order you can’t refuse.

  8. … Will be placed in a museum dedicated to ‘the world that was’, as society rebuilds itself.

    … Will include handy Obamacare mandated suicide pills in the event that you are driving with a Kennedy.

    … Will be a horse, thanks to new EPA regulations. However, Hipsters will still call them ‘cars’ ironically.

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