Straight Line of the Day: Angry at the United States, North Korea Threatened to…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Angry at the United States, North Korea threatened to…

25 Comments

  1. Angry at the United States, North Korea threatened to…

    break out it’s pen and phone. BACKED BY NUCLEAR WEAPONS!

    retreat to it’s safe space until the microaggressions were stopped.

    not adopt a green energy plan for future power needs.

  2. Angry at the United States, North Korea threatened to…

    vote for Bernie, but then decided to back down since his Socialism was just too far out man, like, wow who could believe the **** he’s been peddling. Knowhatimean?

  3. Angry at the United States, North Korea threatened to…

    fight us with one paw tied behind their back.

    tell our Mom on us.

    obliterate California. Go ahead, make our day.

    turn us into newts.

    make Hillary Clinton President.

    use their super-secret weapon that lowers the PSI in all NFL footballs to under 12.5 PSI! Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!

    take John Kerry’s lunch money.

    boogie oogie oogie til they just can’t boogie no more.

  4. … call us wacist.
    Which would be racist to quote verbatim; yet racist to correct.
    So the New York Times, uncertain what to do, chose not to report it.
    And denounced as racist those who asked why.

  5. … close off our access to the New York Times’ rich vein of irony ore:

    How ‘Crazy’ Are the North Koreans?
    By Joel S. Wit / Jan. 9, 2016
    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/10/opinion/sunday/how-crazy-are-the-north-koreans.html?_r=0

    Their people are robots, sporting lapel-pin pictures of their Dear Leader and regularly attending mass rallies where thousands move in unison like the Radio City Rockettes. Their official media — hyperbolic pronouncements, constant threats and worshipful praise of the leader —

    [– Unlike our media covering Obama –]

    — magnifies a cultlike image. And most of all, their leaders look strange to us — for example, Kim Jong-il with his funny hairdo and dark glasses. Senator Ted Cruz typified this perception of the North recently, labeling the current leader, Kim Jong-un, as a “crazy nutcase” with a nuclear bomb.

    [To give the NYT credit, they don’t seem to take a position on that characterization.]

    I have been meeting with North Korean government officials for more than two decades in their country, Europe and Asia, and I can tell you that they are neither nutcases nor comic book characters. They are a diverse group, from hidebound apparatchiks to bureaucrats who teach themselves English by listening to foreign radio broadcasts. Some of them, military men especially, are hard-line, patriotic and, above all, anti-American.

    [And, as to that diversity he was talking about, the others are medium-line, patriotic and, above all, anti-American.]

    I found that out firsthand in the 1990s, while leading a team on an inspection of a military-run underground facility that we thought might violate the 1994 United States-North Korea denuclearization agreement. My team was locked in a room

    [!]

    surrounded by soldiers with bayonets

    [!]

    drawn after one member of our team violated the inspection procedures. Many of us thought we were going to be killed.

    [And, now to gloss over inconvenient facts . . . ]

    Eventually, we managed to extricate ourselves, but as we left the base in an old school bus, the military men followed us in a truck with a loudspeaker blaring anti-American slogans.

    [We’re almost at that point in America, by the way]

    I asked our North Korean civilian escort if they were going to follow us for the whole ride back to our hotel — two hours over bumpy roads. He responded with a smile: “Do you want them to?”
    Americans might find it surprising that many North Korean officials take a nonideological view of foreign affairs.

    [That was nonideological?

    That’s what I meant by “comedy gold.”]

    Indeed, we would call them realists.

    [!]

    [Well, I guess, in a Second Amendment kind of way.]

    They are well aware of their national interests and are dedicated to safeguarding them, a dedication that is based on a keen understanding of the outside world.

    [Please take note of that word, “keen.” Ready for it? Here goes:]

    A case in point: At one meeting, I was sitting next to a well-connected North Korean official who wanted to talk about Hillary Clinton’s book “It Takes a Village.” (I was embarrassed to say I had not read it.)

    [AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

    Gold.

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