[imitating his cousin Ray on hunting deer] “Well, it was 4 in the mornin’. 22 degrees outside. ‘Course, you weren’t there…p****. I’m in a camouflage deer blind, with grease paint on my face. I’ve got deer urine on my boots—I’m not sure why.”
[as himself] I made that part up.
[returns to imitating Ray] “I’ve got a .30-06 rifle with a 12 power-scope and a bullet that’ll travel at 2,500 feet per second. When that deer looked up to lick the salt sucker I’d hung from the danged ol’ tree…caught him right above the eye.”
“Yeah? Well, I hit one with a van, goin’ 55 miles an hour, with the headlights on and the horn blowin’!”
Woo, that’s an elusive little creature!
If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast. Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it, the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet!
“D’oh! A deer!”
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to — Deer!”
It’s a clear case of antlerdisestablishmentarianism.
.. “This is for killing, this is for fawn.”
Makes sense. There are hitmen who’ll do anything for a buck.
Ouch!
That’s why they call it assault lick.
A deer ran into my car a couple of years ago, and wiped out the passenger door & quarter panel. I was going about 30.
I think more deer hit cars — run into them — than are hit by cars. They’re dumber than squirrels — at least a squirrel will try to dodge you.
Ron White:
[imitating his cousin Ray on hunting deer] “Well, it was 4 in the mornin’. 22 degrees outside. ‘Course, you weren’t there…p****. I’m in a camouflage deer blind, with grease paint on my face. I’ve got deer urine on my boots—I’m not sure why.”
[as himself] I made that part up.
[returns to imitating Ray] “I’ve got a .30-06 rifle with a 12 power-scope and a bullet that’ll travel at 2,500 feet per second. When that deer looked up to lick the salt sucker I’d hung from the danged ol’ tree…caught him right above the eye.”
“Yeah? Well, I hit one with a van, goin’ 55 miles an hour, with the headlights on and the horn blowin’!”
Woo, that’s an elusive little creature!
If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast. Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it, the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet!
♪ “Damn, it feels good to be a gang stag.” ♪
Ungulater, alligator.
Naturally. Explains the “Roe” in Roe v. Wade.
I never trusted the B*st*rds in the first place.
They fail to mention that these are all lone wolf deer and that their motive is not yet known, Typical.