(a Guest Post by Cayleygraph2015)

10. Nonplussed by a burly man collecting jewelry

9. Keeps falling back into patterns established in the ’70s.

8. Aids zealots who want to destroy law enforcement

7. Insists you thank him for destroying half your economy

6. Invisible while there’s work to do, then shows up at the end and claims to be behind the whole thing

5. Ends up using Nazi ideas when soul-searching

4. Equally at home with computers as with ancient mysticism

3. Antagonizes weapons manufacturers

2. A lot of his power requires the American Entertainment Industry

1. Will kill his own daughter if his plans require it

[Bacon to walruskkkch and David Thompson for inspirational assistance]