Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
… IMAO.
…Trump.
…the War On Texting And Driving.
…the dearth of Saber Toothed Tigers.
…Aunt Becky…
…black mold in the basement.
…the price of plaid onesies is too damn high.
…because it just IS. OKAY? GAH!!!
…micro-aggression overload…
Those do tend to add up when they are that small.
…insufficient foaminess in their lattes…
…the realization that when you get older you actually have to “do” something with your life. It is like a punch in the mouth.
…the fact they no longer receive trophies just for participating.
…it’s hard to blame someone else for your lack of gainful employment in today’s economy. It was much easier when Obama was president.
I’m not saying it’s aliens, but…
It’s aliens.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
not knowing diddly about history.
… fear of the unknown, not knowing whether the laws of gravity might possibly be applicable if they follow AOC off a cliff reaching for the pie in the sky.
… a unicorn and dragon shortage at the local zoo
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
they’re being Millennials.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
the invention of the un-popable bubble wrap.
To be fair, it truly is the clamshell packaging of cushiony packing materials
They took something that was dual function, and which had to be replaced after one of the functions, and made it what? Environmentally friendly? Sheesh!
…Mommy and Daddy retired, sold the house, bought an RV, are travelling and left me here.
… the truth.
…being woke all the time, it’s really hard to get in that recommended 8 hours of sleep.
… three letters: J – O – B – S.
… there are non-free-trade, GMO candies that could be mistaken for Tide Pods.
Hey, not a bad idea for a novelty candy – a liquid center gum that looks like a tiny Tide Pod
Advertising camp-pain:
“Sometimes you feel like a “WHAT?”;
Sometimes you don’t.”
or:
“Hey! You got yummy confection in my deadly toxin!”
“Well, you got deadly toxins in my yummy confections” . . .
[Had to Google this one:]
“Freshen Up Gum — The gum with the liquidating center.”
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
like, more stress Brah.
♫
Business has a corner on the marketplace,
Molly is a fine drug that is banned,
CNN says it’s folly to ignore your race,
And in the offing there’s no sugar in the land.
[Chorus:]
AOC
OPP
Like, more stress, Brah
La la how the left goes on!
OCD
OPP
Take the rest, Brah
La la how the left goes on.
Demand steaks — or better yet, tofu;
Buy a twenty-carat golden ring!
Charge it back to the “Campaign for Katmandu,”
And like the Clintons,
Say — you sure know nothing.
[Chorus]
In a couple of years, we’ll have built
A Socialist home
Government kids running a Red Guard
All desperate . . .
For Mother Jones.
Crappy ever after failing marketplace
Proggies have the final say on price;
Prollies sit at home and know their petty place
And in the evening they still think, but that is banned.
[Chorus]
And if you want Kim Jung Un . . .
Sing “Oh, boy, lead us there!”
♫
non-millenials
life not being fair
Yeah, life always used to be fair.but now it isn’t. No fair!
Bacon shortages.
WHA !?!?!?!
Man, put a trigger warning up before things like that!
I say we fling tofu at him when the down-thumb.
Vegan bacon? Surely you jest…
We are not jesting.
And don’t call me Shirley.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
Lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!!
Folgers Crystals
…running out of an ancient Chinese secret.
… having to remember what is, and isn’t, racist/sexist/cisnormative/Islamophobic/splungist/science-denying.
I see you slipped “splunge” in there. You’re not a yes-man, are you?
Well, I’m certainly not indecisive, I’ll tell you that!
… Safe Spaces being the final affront tier.
… the stream of things that offend them might cross the stream of things they do that offend others. That would be bad.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
emotionally and intellectually NEEDING it to be whether it is or not.
Heh… They’ve gone from emotionallly coddled, cobbled, and cuddled to emotionally curdled — and from intellectual kneading to intellectual needing. Wish that was a joke.
… the possibility that if Trump is reelected their job won’t let them take the week off the way their school did.
… if Cortez is right, there won’t be any environment to save when they graduate in 12 years.
… YGDT!YLTATSOTE!
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
Dis.
see: Dis-stress.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
Orange Man Racist…. Orange Man Bad! Rheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
… everything’s in color now, when it used to be black-and-white. It’s overstimulating.
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before because of…
Spins the wheel of blame… Global warming! We have a winner.