Straight Line of the Day: Everyone’s Searching for the Perfect Christmas Gift for Greta. On the List… Posted by Oppo on 16 December 2019, 12:00 pm Straight Line of the Day: Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… (Other than a David Hogg “I Wuz U” mug)
… a Robocall with her number on auto-dial asking, “How do you keep an idiot in suspense?” Reply to this comment
…Tropic Thunder merchandise. Especially stuff with a certain Robert Downey Jr. quote. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… a Jeffrey Epstein self-improvement kit. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…Ten shares of Exxon preferred stock. Reply to this comment
…a copy of Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol, and watch her eyes light up as Bob Cratchit freezes due to his fear of placing more coal in the stove. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… an all expense paid, one way trip, on the next moon mission. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… nothing. Nice carbon footprint there. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… a better Swedish – English dictionary and phrase book. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…A high paying job as a roustabout on the north slope. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… A MAGA hat and Trump 2020 T-Shirt. Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… a childhood. Reply to this comment
Endless possibilities. Class, manners, the common sense the good Lord granted a pine cone, eyes to see how she’s being used… Reply to this comment
…an ugly Christmas sweater with a picture of her with antlers saying, “How Deer You!” Reply to this comment
… My Little Phony … Mystery Date (of the end of the world) … E-Z Bilk Often … Bernie Babies … More Mad Libs Reply to this comment
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list… Rustlers, Cut Throats, Murderers, Bounty Hunters, Desperados, Mugs, Pugs, Thugs, Nitwits, Halfwits, Dimwits, Vipers, Snipers, Con Men, Indian Agents, Mexican Bandits, Muggers, Buggerers, Bushwhackers, Hornswagglers, Horse Thieves, Bull Dykes, Train Robbers, Bank Robbers, A**-Kickers, Sh#t-Kickers, and Methodists!!! Reply to this comment
…a subscription to the Farmer’s Almanac…
… an enrollment to Charm School…
… anger management…
…anthracite AND bituminous.
!!11!! Harvey Award!
… a personal truant officer…
…an “I’m with Her” sweatshirt
I hear you can pick those up pretty cheap.
…shares in Peabody Coal.
… a box of rocks. Tell her it’s a mirror.
…a GED.
…a real Willy Wonka Everlasting Gobstopper to shove in that cake hole.
A Slinky. It’s also useless.
…a porkchop to hang around her neck so the dog will play with her.
… a Robocall with her number on auto-dial asking, “How do you keep an idiot in suspense?”
…an “OK Doomer” baseball cap.
isn’t “OK” a white supremacy thing now?
Well, she’s white and she thinks she can tell everyone else what to do so…
…Tropic Thunder merchandise. Especially stuff with a certain Robert Downey Jr. quote.
… cans of compressed air, for when her head needs a refill.
…an account with valentimedotcom.
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
a Jeffrey Epstein self-improvement kit.
Jeffrey Epstein did not improve himself.
It depends on your particular point of view.
… cans of unicorn Spam
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…Ten shares of Exxon preferred stock.
It’s Christmas; make it twenty.
…a copy of Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol, and watch her eyes light up as Bob Cratchit freezes due to his fear of placing more coal in the stove.
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
an all expense paid, one way trip, on the next moon mission.
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
nothing. Nice carbon footprint there.
A bondage ball gag.
A The Gimp Starter Set?
Three Little Birds by Bob Marley
…a new script writer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sohBiFEHl7s
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
a better Swedish – English dictionary and phrase book.
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…A high paying job as a roustabout on the north slope.
Get Over It – by the Eagles
DIY lobotomy kit
… a gift certificate for Child Protective Services.
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
A MAGA hat and Trump 2020 T-Shirt.
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
a childhood.
Why bother, it’ll probably just get stolen.
…anger management classes and a Netflix account.
…a BluRay copy of Not Evil Just Wrong
Endless possibilities. Class, manners, the common sense the good Lord granted a pine cone, eyes to see how she’s being used…
…a wall of her own.
Don’t forget the matching Nazi firing squad.
… a holocaust cloak, extra small…
a bag of hammers
A You r@ped the planet, but all I got was this lousy T-Shirt, T-shirt
…an ugly Christmas sweater with a picture of her with antlers saying, “How Deer You!”
…a vinyl copy of Pink Floyd’s 1979 album.
A clue.
… Klausette Barbie’s Malleable Dream House.
… My Little Phony
… Mystery Date (of the end of the world)
… E-Z Bilk Often
… Bernie Babies
… More Mad Libs
Mystery Date (of the end of the world) = gold. 😀
… the Surly Temple collection.
…as starred in Little Morphing Nanny State
Everyone’s searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Greta. On the list…
Rustlers, Cut Throats, Murderers, Bounty Hunters, Desperados, Mugs, Pugs, Thugs, Nitwits, Halfwits, Dimwits, Vipers, Snipers, Con Men, Indian Agents, Mexican Bandits, Muggers, Buggerers, Bushwhackers, Hornswagglers, Horse Thieves, Bull Dykes, Train Robbers, Bank Robbers, A**-Kickers, Sh#t-Kickers, and Methodists!!!
What would she want with Methodists?
HOW DARE YOU!
If she wants Methodists, she gets Methodists!
A lifetime supply of Adderall.