(To the tune of the Beatles’ “Glass Onion”)

Surpassed Onion

♩♩♪

I told you about extraordinary flu, man
(You know that “novel” means that it’s news, man)
Now here’s another place you can’t go
‘Cause everyone knows —

Talking to someone can kill them!
Let’s all see how the Third World lives:
Let’s live as though we’re in The Onion.

They told you about the virus on TV, man:
You know you’re standing too close to me, man
Well here’s another clue for you scribes —
A virus subsides.

Looking through a facemask, oh yeah
Lately Madonna’s trying to make a scene, yeah
(As many layers as an onion)
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah . . .
Looks as though we’ve surpassed The Onion.

♩♩♪

I told you about the folks on the Hill
I tell you, if there’s a way there’s a will,
Well here’s another place we might be:
The Babylon Bee

Fixing a hole in the ozone
Suddenly doesn’t seem to have much point
As poignant as today’s Onion.

♩♩♪