Wrong Kind of License, Dude

US Man Teaching Dog How To Drive Arrested After High-Speed Chase
AFP.com | March 30, 2020

Los Angeles (AFP) – A resident of the western US state of Washington was arrested following a high-speed chase that left officers dumbfounded after they found the man’s pit bull behind the wheel.

The incident unfolded Sunday afternoon after police received calls about a driver hitting two vehicles in an area south of Seattle and then speeding away, state trooper Heather Axtman told AFP.

She said the emergency services subsequently got multiple calls about a car traveling erratically at more than 100 miles per hours (160 kilometers per hour). Axtman said that as officers gave chase, they got close to the vehicle — a 1996 Buick — and were shocked to see a pit bull in the driver’s seat and a man steering and pushing the gas pedal from the passenger side.

The pursuit ended after police deployed spike strips and arrested 51-year-old Alberto Tito Alejandro, who was booked on multiple felonies including driving under the influence of drugs.

“When we took him into custody… he admitted to our troopers that he was trying to teach his dog to drive,” Axtman said.

“I’ve been a trooper for almost 10 years and I’ve had a lot of excuses when I’ve arrested people or pulled people over, but I’ve never had an excuse that the dog was driving,” she added, laughing.

Axtman said the female pit bull, which was not aggressive toward the arresting officers, had been placed in an animal shelter.

Song Parody: Loosely on the Side of Biden

(To the tune of the Beatles’ “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”)

Loosely on the Side of Biden

♩♩♪

Picture yourself in the boat of the liberals
With damage control for manifest lies:
Certainly galls you to answer to Pelosi
And Schiff with his gyroscope eyes

Sell out the followers of Bern and the Greens
Now you’re in over your head!
Look for the girls who were all Warren teens
And they’re gone.

Loosely on the Side of Biden
Loosely on the Side of Biden
Loosely on the Side of Biden

Ah

Try to discount all the things Joe is spouting
Like “Rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies!”
Everyone smiles as he drifts and his followers
Get so incredibly high.

Newspaper lackies appear by the score
Waiting to fake it away
But Joe’s in the back, with his head in their hair,
And they’re gone.

Loosely on the Side of Biden
Loosely on the Side of Biden
Loosely indecisive, like Biden

Ah

Picture for yourself all the strange dedication
For plastic reporters with Harvard class ties
Suddenly something is said by their idol
A whole new moronic surprise

Loosely on the Side of Biden
Loosely on the Side of Biden
Loosely on the Side of Biden

Ah

♩♩♪