Promoted Comment: As Sung By Ochi Bunker

Hats off to BobB:

Boy, the way that Trotsky played
Kulaks made the hit parade
Oligarchs, they had it made
Those were the days

Couldn’t trust no welfare state
Ev’rybody lost some weight
Gee, wasn’t old Stalin great?
Those were the days

And you knew who you were then
Girls turned on girls and men on men
Mister we could use a man like Lavrenty Beria again

People couldn’t be content
Wonder where your family went?
Gulags, where dissidents are sent
Those were the days

Ten times better than anything Weird A.I. Yankovich could come up with.

Lamerick Time

It’s been a while since we’ve been here.

Needs an ending:

In 2028

Democrats think AOC will be great

Other contenders —

Democracy defenders —

Maybe the Stones Were Prescient?

It was borne out in Crossfire Hurricane . . .

[Change track]

So what can a government do

Except to apply a rock ‘n’ roll ban?

‘Cause in Shariah London town there’s just no place

For a Straight [sic] fightin’ man . . .

Oh , , , Yeah . . . .

I see schemes of green, Red ruses too
I see them spell doom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wanker-filled world

I see cities of blue attack crowds of whites
The Right pressed each day, in the dark scared by nights
And I think to myself
What a wanker-filled world

The bullies of the rainbow, so petty, so sly
Are all in the faces of those going by
I see Trans shaking glands, saying, “Whom do you do?”
They’re really sayin’ to us “Hey, Eff you!”

I hear Lib babies cry, I watch them so gross,
They’ll learn mush more, till it overflows
And I think to myself
What a wanker-filled world
Yes, I think to myself
What a wanker-full world

Paul Simon: Concert for IMAO

🎵

IMAO’s just a poor boy

Like a sandwich, only poorer

And it squanders all its condiments

Trying to think of funny puns to make from “condiments”. . . Oh, the horror.

All tries at jests

Show a man’s here when he wants to hear

How to best regard the breasts.

Mmm mm mmm mmm mm mm mm mmm mm mmm mm…

🎵

Asking only Walrus’s wages

I came looking for a job

But I found no coffers —

Just a cosmos of the comments of certain attitudes.

I do declare!

There were times when I was so bemused

I took some Southern Comfort then and there

Mmm mm mmm mmm mm mm mm mmm mm mmm mm…

🎵

Basil / Basil!

Basil / Basil! Basil / Basil!

Basil / Basil!Basil / Basil! Basil / Basil! Basil / Basil!

Headcount’s Down a Little

Joe Biden’s finally retired

With money that he acquired

He thinks that it’s funny

To split it with Sonny;

But the Easter Bunny’s definitely been fired.

Sad, But True: Pottery Corner Again

I’ve lived through the ‘terrible twos,’

And then through some terrible booze.

I’ve paid all the pipers

From diapers to diapers, …

Pottery Corner

It occurred to me that I’ve never heard a poem dedicated to brassieres.

You should remedy that.

You have all weekend to work on it.

I realize no one likes assignments, especially over a weekend, so that makes this a two-fer. Heh.

Slip Biden Away

Slip Biden Away

Ship Biden Away

You know, that nearly-destroyed-nation thing?

The moron’s still hidin’ away

I know a woman

Became his wife

These are the very words she uses to describe her life:

She says “A good day’s when I got to reign”

She said “A bad day’s when I lie in bed and think of him watching Gentle Ben.”

Now, Obama knows

What Joe does to plans

“Disinformation’s unavailable to the mortal, man!”

They’re jerking our jobs

They’re jerking our pay

Believe we’re colliding down the highway, but for now I’ll just sip Chardonnay.

Promoted Comment: Charcoal California

Courtesy of Bob B:

On a dark desert highway, power cut off again
Warm smell of burnt embers rising up like back when
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
The fire leapt quickly and the sky grew dim, thick smoke turned daylight to night
Then they came to the doorway, a warning they did tell,
“You gotta get right on out of here, before this place turns to hell
Then they lit up the flashers and they peeled out away
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say
“Welcome to the Charcoal California
Such a smoky place (such a chokey place)
Such a burned-out place
Not enough trucks for the Charcoal California
Any time of year (any time of year)
It starts burning here”
The fire is pretty twisted, it torched the Mercedes-Benz,
The state is short of water stores, that means some fiery ends
Flames, they dance in the courtyard, no aid is in sight
Flames dance ’til they’re embers, some dance through the night
So I called up the Captain, “Please help me out here”
He said, “We haven’t had any chance here since 1969”
And still, those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night just to hear them say
“Move out of the Hotel California
It’s a sucky place (turns to mucky place)
Such a big disgrace
They screwed it all up for the Charcoal California
That ain’t nice surprise (never a surprise)
They just pump out lies”
Smoke is on the ceiling, the pink retardant floats around
There is only one way out as it burns down to the ground
What’s left of burned out chambers, they stand in mute relief
They stab at us with steely knives, but we’ll never kill the grief
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
“Relax, ” said the governor, “We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”

Song Inspiration

I didn’t come up with this phrase — someone referred offhandedly to “Charcoal California,” and I thought it would make a nice song.

“Welcome to the Charcoal California . . . “

Going to be humming that now when I see video footage from there.

Screen-Age Wasteland

🎵

Out here in the “feels”
I post all my meals
I hunch my back in my living room {tap-tap-tap-tap}
Don’t know how to fight
Disapprove of the right
I just knew I needed to be for Biden

My kids ain’t gonna flood no banks
My greed ain’t gonna spoil them, thanks;
This land just has to be Delilah:
I’m getting a tan from my Samsung.

Can’t cry
Without emojis 😲
It’s only a Screen-Age Wasteland . . .

🎵

Hockey Stick Time

I had to put on GoreTex

To survive the polar vortex

That’s found each winter forming

Due to Global Warming —

Which hurts my cerebral cortex.

Poetry Coroner: My Gal

There is a gal who shall remain nameless

Who resisted advances which remain shameless

And spawned no mysogeny

Or otherwise progeny

And prevented an event which was otherwise aimless.

Pottery Corner

Need a last line…

Hid him in his basement and blamed the fake flu
Shouldn’t have ever been installed, all the media knew

Knew the man knew nothing, well, that’s nothing new . . .