You might as well finish this song for me, because I don’t want it ever to end:
(I forgot to mention Newhart’s two wives. Oh well, maybe next time.)
.
Chose MaryAnn, but she didn’t choose me,
Second choice Ginger, but she wouldn’t be free;
Passed over Lovey — but she’s married, you see;
So I used the Professor’s bike to power up the TV:
.
Of all of the shows that have come and have gone
Some I turned on; others turned me on —
Yeoman Rand / Babes at WKRP
“Land of the Giants” — “No kidding!” from me.
.
.
“Who’s the Boss?” is the question, you know,
Even Maude had Adrienne Barbeau;
Frannie the Nanny had some plenty tight skirts,
And where did Catherine Bach get all those halter shirts?
.
“Petticoat Junction” mastered viewer-baiting,
What was “Charlie’s Angels'” Nielsen rating?
Heather Locklear on “T.J. (cough) Hooker”
And Della Street was a Perry Mason looker.
.
…
Watch out for the Rivers,
Either Tam or Doc Song –
You mess with their people
and your life won’t last long
Don’t discount Miss Emma
She has real a-Peel
And 99 was a spy
Who could seal any deal
As for persons of interest
Check out Root or Miss Shah
Their wit, grit and beauty
Just leave me in awe…
Of course we could count on you.
How could I have left out Miss Peel?
Well, I left out Batgirl, too, so there are a lot.
Audra Barkley puts others to shame,
Marilyn Munster really upped the show’s game;
Helen Crump even got my attention:
And Markie Post gets “Your Honor”able mention.
Mouseketeer Annette tested my virginity
Doreen, too, was in the vicinity;
Elizabeth Berkley from “Saved by the Bell”
Played a stripper. Well, well, well.