To adapt a Seinfeld phrase, we’ve got so much song-mocking hand that we’re coming out of our gloves!

Thanks to Kinda Sorta Bob B-like Bot:

Where can you see a dunder
Scam the world for plunder,
Sell secret technology,
And make those Chinese Commie dreams all come true?
On the land or on the sea
Make use of the Big Lie
Play with words and trip, live.
Boost Hunter, for a fee
Just pick up the Slimline
Then sit off on the sideline
When your son and others meet

[Chorus]
With young Navy
Yes, you can bilk the Red Chinese
With young Navy
Yes, you can transfer funds at ease
With young Navy
He’ll fool the people ‘bout this jam
With young Navy, through young Navy
Can’t ever track the latest scam

She’s a Biden
Fin’lly confess the obvious fact
Yes, a Biden!
There’s one less thing they can attack
We’re all Bidens,
Con people with fake money trails
‘Cause we’re Bidens, yes, we’re Bidens, sleazy Bidens…

Then there’s a lot of dancing. No video available.

Per Gumbeaux:

🎵

Now in the streets, there is violence
Trump’s successes must be undone
The media does its brainwashing
Climate change not the fault of the sun, oh no

When you go rock down to Electric Avenue
And then the car explodes into fire.
Oh, we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
You’ll never have to change a flat tire.

🎵

♩♪

Someone told me long ago
There’s no Com’s before the storm
I know, it’s been comin’ for some time
When it’s over, never say
It’ll make the Sunni’s day
I know, China’s down with slaughter.

I oughta know: have you ever seen deranged?
I oughta know: have you ever seen deranged?
It’s gummin’-down-on-Sundae day.

Yesterday, and days before:
Sun is cold & soft is hard!
I know, been that way for all my time.
Tilden Forever! On it goes
Dupont Circle, fast is slow.
I know, it can’t stop, I wonder

I oughta know: have you ever seen deranged?
I want to know, have you ever seen deranged?
Coma & down on another lid day.

Yeah!

I want to know, have you ever seen deranged?
I want to know, have you ever seen deranged?
Comey lived to fight another day.

♩♪

You may find yourself living in the White House
You may find your armed forces in another part of the world
You may find yourself a cog in the wheel of a large autocracy
You may find yourself with a dutiful House and a dutiful wife
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
Letting the days go by, let the waiter hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
States turning blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
You may ask yourself, how do I work this?
You may ask yourself, where is that large Marine whirly-bird?
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife
Letting the daze go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the red again, after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
Shame that it ever was, shame that it ever was, shame that it ever was, shame that it ever was
Shame that it ever was, shame that it ever was, shame that it ever was, shame that it ever was

♩♪

My taxes arrived just the other day
The government insisted that I had to pay
But there’s inflation now, and I have to say
We have to find us a better way

Talkin’ heads speaking nonsense, but before I spew
I say, “gotta try something new, guys,

We gotta do something new.”

♩♪

Democrats in the White House with a senile loon,
VP Kamala hopes to take charge soon
Chickens come to roost, guys, I don’t know when,
But we’re in big trouble then…
You know we’ll have to pay big then.

♩♪

Immigration exploded just the other day
They say “Borders are open, come on, let them stay,

They’ll assimilate later…” I said “Ain’t no way,

There’s too much to do”, they said “That’s okay”

And as they run from the border, they smile like a cat.

They say
“They’re gonna vote Democrat, yeah, you know they’re voting Democrat.”

♩♪

Well we pay for their college now, we pay and pay
Demands never ceasing, I just have to say,
“I’ve got nothing left, can you give me a break?”
They shook their heads no, and continued to take
“What we’d really like now is to tax all your savings…”
“For the children, can we have them please?”

♩♪

Democrats in the White House with a senile loon,
VP Kamala hopes to take charge soon
Chickens come to roost, guys, I don’t know when,
But we’re in big trouble then…
You know we’ll have to pay big then

♩♪

I’ve long since retired, not much left put away
The tax man returned just the other day
He said, “I’d like an audit if you don’t mind”
I said, “Don’t matter ‘cause there’s nothing left to find.”
You see, progressives live to hassle, and it’s all they can do,
‘Til they’ve taken the last dime from you, guys,
In the end, they don’t have a clue…

♩♪

And as I fade with the sunset, it occurs to me
They’ll screw the whole country
No more of Old Glory…

Democrats in the White House with a senile loon,
VP Kamala hopes to take charge soon
Chickens come to roost, guys, I don’t know when,
But we’re in big trouble then…
You know we’ll have to pay big then!

♩♪

Home run song parody by Criticas:

I would have thought Hunter’s anthem was “Wayward Son”.

Carry on my wayward son

Don’t forget where you left your gun

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you lie no more

♩♪ ♫

Once I rose above Ukrainian collusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high

~

Though my eyes could see I still was a meth head

Though my mind could think I still was a coke head

I hear the voices when I’m dreamin’

I can hear them say

♩♪ ♫

Carry on my wayward son

There’ll be bribes when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you lie no more

Walrus came up with this idea.

I whisked off four lines in reply, then he developed it further, and here we are. I finished my verse to accompany his verse. His is the second one, due solely to their positions in the actual song.

I didn’t want it to get buried in the comments an obscure, off-topic post, since the NSA might miss it there. They probably don’t read past headlines. Government workers.

Man, has my computer started running slow again!

–

♩♪

Oh, where have you been, my bleary-eyed son?
Oh, where have you been, media darling young one?
I’ve stumbled to my side, snorting parmesan mountains.
I’ve walked from my crimes nearly six crooked decades.
I’ve stomped out the middle between Liberals and Logic.
I’ve been out in front of a dozen bought judges.
I’ve been ten thousand miles in the V(i)P gravy train.
And it’s unheard, it’s a herd, it’s unheard, it’s unheard
Our Dem Card drain’s got it all…

Oh, what did you see, my senile old one?
And what did you see, your dopehead young son?
I saw a unborn baby ended with Planned practice.
I saw a highway of diamonds paid with your taxes.
I saw a black protest with blood that kept drippin’
I saw a room full of transmen with their “hammers” a-bleedin’
I saw a white liberal all covered with masks.
I saw ten thousand Twitters whose tweets were all broken
I saw guns and sharp swords taken from free citizens
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard lid’s a-gonna be called.

♩♪

.

Possible next collaboration: Joe Biden pro-formaing: “Hard. Dazed. ‘Night.”

(God, I hope he doesn’t die the same time this gets posted. Will kind of put a damper on the humor.)

♩♩♪

I remember all my life
Living down a cold was nice;
Hijabs in Iran
A face through a fabric
Covid came into our lives
Our rights went Arabic . . .

Mourning yet another day
Hopeless people pass my way
I see only their eyes
And tears through tyranny
I never realized
How helpless you may be

Oh, Mandates
Well, you came
And you took without giving
But we allowed you your say
Oh, Mandates
Will you list me
And stop me from living?
We don’t need you today
Oh, Mandates . . .

♩♩♪

[Spoken:]

You made a fool of the U.S.

Through all those awesome curve-balls you threw us . . .

♫  ♫

Hey, Media, now you’ve got the Blues

Seeing no more Dr. Faustus on the evening news

No “leading opinion,” no one to care

Just open mics and emails here and there

♫  ♫

There’s “a hole” in the stories as more news comes in

You took our freedom and you played to win

Ha, ha! Wuhan! It’s a cryin’ shame

Bioweepin’, there’s no one else to blame

♫  ♫

Media: Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

♫  ♫

So blame it on another town

It hit someone old, we all had to hunker down

But a fool and this puzzle soon go separate ways

Media muzzled — their pool’s a puddle these days

♫  ♫

Ha, ha, Wuhan, what you gonna do?

You destroyed all credibility, now they’re turning blue

It’s so good for China that we’re feelin’ pain

With the gain of function, their function’s gained.

♫  ♫

Media: Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan
(Hey, hey, hey, hey)

♫  ♫

Media Evil Wuhan how you done me wrong

But now you’re tryin’ to Tsing a different song

Ha, ha, funny ― but behind the smiles ―

We’ve got no Chinese Wall, but theirs goes on for miles

♫  ♫

We came with funding, but went into debt

You caught Hunter, but not all of us yet

Ha, ha, Wuhan, very nice to know

That that ain’t no problem; ten percent you know

♫  ♫

Media: Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

Evil Wuhan

♫  ♫

Appropriately enough . . . the Blues . . .

♩♪

Fang Fang came from the P.L.A.
Snuck her way into the U.S.A.
But even the Chinese know there’s no way
Shaving your legs makes a he a she
I said, “Hey, babe,
Take the Woke on a wild ride.”
They said “A-women,
Take the Woke on a wild ride.”

Bill’s arm candy came from Epstein’s Island
In the back room she was everybody’s darling
But she never lost her head
Someone censored the rest of this thread
She says, “Hey, babe,
Take the Woke on a wild ride.”
Maybe
This’ll blow their minds:
“And the colored girls go
“Doo do doo do doo do do doo…”

Joe and Jill never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City’s the place where
They said, “Hey, babe,
That’s the place where Grandma died.”
They said, “Yeah, we know . . .
We took the Woke on a wild ride. . . . “

♩♪

Not based on Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sounds of Silence.” Nope.

A Eulogy To Science

♩♪

Hollow carcass, my old friend:
It’s sad you came to such an end.
Because division softly creeping —
Leftist seeds into your ground seeping —
Brought derision that supplanted your fair name
And still remains
Using the sounds
Of science.

In Greta’s dream we’d walk, alone,
Narrow streets of cobblestones
‘Neath the flicker of 8 street lamps
You’d turn your collar to the cold and damp
And a guy could be stabbed for the use of a neon light
They fought that fight
Upon the ground
Of science.

And in a naked grab I saw
Ten million dollars for Al Gore
People watching without thinking
Holding hearings without listening
People “righting wrongs” (“Consensus” never cared)
No one dared
Declare unsound
The science.

Fauci said: “You do not know
Science must put on a show!
Wear a mask or we might grab you!
Bare your arms that we might jab you!
But still arms must not be freely borne!”
No one mourned
Because dissent
Was silenced.

And the people bowed their pride:
Let the peon god decide.
And the Founders had left their warning
In the documents they were forming:

By design said
The treasures and profits
That are Madoff of new vaccines
And quarantines
Are buried
In the shroud
Of science.

♩♪