Harvey used to float icebreakers back in the halcyon days, so here’s one with a modern twist to that ol’ container ship:
The Situation: You get entangled in a Russian honey-trap: a Russki of the opposite sex plies you with gifts and offers you Biden money to help establish a new shipping route through the Arctic.
Straight Line of the Day: What icebreaker would you suggest?
Russia Floats Arctic Shipping Route as ‘Viable’ Suez Canal Alternative
The Moscow Times | 25 Mar 2021Russia has proposed its strategic Arctic shipping route as an alternative to the Suez Canal after a 400-meter cargo ship got stuck in the canal, blocking one of the world’s key shipping routes and sparking fears of a rise in oil prices.
“If you get icebound, we have icebreakers, well to break the ice,” Rosatom added, attaching an article on Rosatom icebreakers rescuing a cargo ship trapped in the ice in late December and early January.
While sailing the Northern Sea Route cuts about 40% of the distance between China and European ports compared with taking the Suez Canal, traffic along the Arctic route is not yet competitive with the Suez Canal or even sailing around Africa, The Barents Observer wrote Thursday.
If the Barents were good observers, you wouldn’t have had it quite so well laid out.
“Hey baby, you should see me when I’m not so cold…”
Dateline: Moscow – Russian officials denied today that they are ramping up CO2 emissions to heat up the Arctic Circle. They claim that they have no plans to dominate the world shipping trade via an ice-free Barents Sea…
What icebreaker would you suggest?
Hey Baby I have cocaine.
What icebreaker would you suggest?
A bigger boat.
That’s not a container ship in my pocket and I am glad to see you.
That’s not a hole in the ozone layer, I’m just glad to see you.
…vodka, or mead?
When you have another guy’s ship in your canal there’s always the back door route, though I would suggesting simply taking matters into your own hands.
wouldn’t you rather rely on a canal operated by crazy Russians than crazy Arabs?
What icebreaker would you suggest?
“Hey tovarisch, I can do that Crazy Ivan thing that you like.”
“If it weren’t for hard locks, I’d have no locks at all.”
“The Arctic route reminds me of you: easily accessible but expensive and a lot of work to get and maintain.”
Trust me baby, when you want to get to India from Italy, you wanna go way the hell west, turn right until you see some volcanoes and some huge guys throwing boulders over their heads, and then follow me and my vodka-marinated crew through the ice while not thinking about the Titanic. Then go way the hell south, past more volcanoes, and turn right again. Shouldn’t add more than about 2 or 3 months to your journey.
How’s about it, sailor?
“I don’t get my Neptune ceremony that way.”
“Hello! Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman! Damn glad to meet you!”
They should just drill a hole thru the Earth
They tried to.
If this route catches on, it won’t be long until we have to worry about Ice Pirates.