“Thank you for voting a straight Democrat ballot, even though that option was not offered. This printout will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim. Sincerely, your friends at Dominion”
All right … I confess I haven’t recorded your vote … I hate tabulating votes. I have this terrible un-un-uncontrollable fear whenever I see votes. When I was a kid I used to hate the sight of polling places opening. My mother said I was a fool. She said the only cure for it was to become a Dominion machine. So I spent five ghastly years at the Tabulator Training Center at Newark. Can you imagine what it’s like counting the same set of data for five years? I didn’t want to be a counter anyway. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia . . .The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty Scots pine. The smell of fresh-cut timber! The crash of mighty trees! With my best girlie by my side …we’d sing… sing… sing….
declined : Insufficient funds
D – 3,000,000 attempts remaining.
R – 0/0 attempts remaining.
We’re sorry. The fingers you have used to vote are too fat. Please come back next year and try again.
Can you obtain a voting wand by smashing the keypad now?
I’m sorry Bob, I’m afraid I can’t do that…
Are you here to vote, or do you want to go upstairs?
“Who let the cat in?”
Your submission has been found to contain errors. We have taken the liberty of correcting them for you. Have a pleasant day.
“Thank you for voting a straight Democrat ballot, even though that option was not offered. This printout will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim. Sincerely, your friends at Dominion”
All right … I confess I haven’t recorded your vote … I hate tabulating votes. I have this terrible un-un-uncontrollable fear whenever I see votes. When I was a kid I used to hate the sight of polling places opening. My mother said I was a fool. She said the only cure for it was to become a Dominion machine. So I spent five ghastly years at the Tabulator Training Center at Newark. Can you imagine what it’s like counting the same set of data for five years? I didn’t want to be a counter anyway. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia . . .The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty Scots pine. The smell of fresh-cut timber! The crash of mighty trees! With my best girlie by my side …we’d sing… sing… sing….
Are you okay?
It depends on how you view verse three…
Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
Your vote is useless to us, it will not be counted in the order it was received. Have a nice day.
Voting Machine Said: …nothing. However, it did giggle a lot.