A totally idealized image:
In reality, I have found that those little pointy prongs, no matter how much you wiggle them against a very solid cork, only succeed in pushing it halfway into the bottle. If you stop and try again, it gets worse.
I’ve had some occasional success with this tool, but I don’t need this kind of extra uncertainty in my life.
I give it an F for its unreliability. Or mine.
Oh, and regular corkscrews can shred a cork, without even removing it one iota, so they kinda suck, too..
Best just to buy the wine in a box or with a screw on lid. That’s how you know it’s the good stuff.
If they made it easy to open it wouldn’t seem worth the price to drink it.
Already getting ready for New Year’s Eve, eh mate?
Did ya ever try to ask for a corkscrew in Italy? Whew!
These days, as long as I can somehow get it open I’m happy.
Never been to Italy. What happens if you ask for a corkscrew?
I speak just a little Italian. The elderly shopkeeper speaks no English. My attempt at pantomime apparently came across as vulgar and insulting. After being shooed from his shop I used a broken tree branch to successfully shove the cork into my wine bottle. Having observed, the shopkeeper approached me with a smile, two glasses and a corkscrew. We sat on the curb and shared the bottle of wine. The corkscrew was a gift.
Thanks for asking.
Get one like this: https://www.laithwaites.com/product/lever-pull-corkscrew-with-stand/01296SI
There are many to choose from. I bought mine in 1990, an all metal model that is still working fine. Operation is simple: there’s 3 levers. One is at the top and drives the corkscrew, the other two are used to clamp the top of the bottle. You move the top lever to raise the screw all the way up. Where the screw retracted is what you put on top of the bottle. Squeeze the other two levers to get a good grip on the bottle. Move the top lever back to push the screw into the cork. Reverse that motion to pull the cork out of the bottle. Set the bottle down and release the clamping levers. Then, move the top lever twice again to remove the cork from the screw. It takes less time to do it than it took you to read this (I’ve usually got a cork in my hand in 5 seconds).
Then dial 911 with your uninjured hand, sipping on your beverage until help arrives…
I prefer tools that are a bit more versatile.
https://tinyurl.com/mt2tkbz6
Good for opening just about anything from bottles to unwashed heathens who have the audacity to demand you share what’s in the bottle.
Hey thanks for the link. It reminds me that I need to sharpen MY machete that’s been laying untouched in my garage since the first Trump Admin..
I think, but I will have to pass on the Machete/Corked bottle challenge. I hate wasting cheap champagne.
“Locate the seam of the bottle of champagne, remove the wire cage, and slice the neck of the bottle at a 45 degree angle.”
1. I didn’t know bottles have seams.
2. Slice the neck of the bottle? They say the blade is purposely dull. Broken glass?
1. The bottle is formed in a reusable mold. The seam is formed by the small gap where the mold splits.
2. The contents are under pressure. This is what propagates the crack created by the strike. Any fractures that splinter off are not at all likely to fall into the bottle.
Thanks. I knew I shouldn’t have ditched “How To Impress Chicks 101.”
That’s for unclogging wine bottles? Well, that explains why I’m still constipated. Oops, my bad.