[High Praise! to Mental Floss]
11 Sharp Facts About Annie Oakley
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[High Praise! to Mental Floss]
11 Sharp Facts About Annie Oakley
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
She tried to register the website “I’M A.O.” but FrnakJ wouldn’t budge. So she shot his ace. True fact.
As a little girl, she once owned a doll with pigtails, a calico dress, big eyelashes, rosy red painted-on cheeks, a basket, patent-leather shoes, doily-type bloomers, toy sidearms, a red lipstick smile and a pretend baby carriage, which she had more respect for and thought more masculine than she would David Hogg. True fact.
Harvey, Get your Gun!
Anything you can do I can do better
I can do anything better than you
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!
Any site you can cite I’ll incite better
Sooner or later, a creator like you
No, you’re not
Yes, I am
No, you’re not
Yes, I am
No, you’re not
Yes, I am, yes I am
I can kick ass at parodyin’, like David Carradine
I can go to Sbarro with a bow and arrow
I can live on bread and cheese
Like “Manos, the Hand of Fate”?
Yes
So third-rate . . .
Any note you can hit I can go sideways
I can think anything weirder than you
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
Anywhere you can pry I can pry deeper
I can chide cheaper per hour than you
Fifty cents
Forty cents
Thirty cents
With common sense
No, you can’t
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!
Anything U.S.A. I can say “save her”
I can say “save her” safer than you
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!
I can make “Dateline” into a Straight Line
I can do it quicker. and get even sicker
I can open any safe space
“Without being caught?”
Sure —
That’s what I thought (you crook!)
Any summation you can give to the nation
I can give a rotation stronger than you
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can
No, you can’t
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!
No, you can’t — Yes, I can!
Anything Basil wears I can wear better
In what he wears I’d look better than you
In his coat
In his vest
In his shoes
In his hat
No, you can’t
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!
Anything you can say he can let fester
Basil lets anything fester for you
No, he can’t
Yes, he can
No, he can’t
Yes, he can
No, you can’t
Yes, he can
No, he can’t
Yes, he can! Yes, he can!
I can jump a hurdle
I can wear a girdle
I can knit a sweater
I can fill it better . . .
…. Oh, wait. I thought we were doing the Lumberjack Sketch….
I can do most anything
Can you make a joke about pi?
No
Neither can I
Anything you can add? I’m not a Tweeter
I can’t think of anyone on Twitter but you
Yes, you can
No, I can’t
Oh, yes, you can
No, I can’t
Yes, you can
No, I can’t
Yes, you can
No, I can’t, can’t, can’t
Yes, you can, can, can, can
No, I can’t
Yes, you can . . .