I’m not sure how worked up to get about lone crazies — like presumably whoever is sending the bombs or the guy who shot up Republicans on a baseball field — as it’s unclear what you can do to stop one of the 400 million people in this country from being crazy.
If people watched their rhetoric, would that help? Maybe. Would be nice regardless, though.

I’m always on the lookout for false flags, which is why I count the stars and stripes of every flag I see. So far they check out.

What I’m really worried about is that we don’t know where 85% of the matter in the universe is. You give scientists one job—keep track of matter—and they can’t even do it. What’s Trump doing about this?

When all the facts come in, I hope they’ll fit my narrative. I don’t know what I’d do otherwise!
Eh, I’m pretty smart; I’ll figure out something.

Man, I’m loving Justified. I just want to binge it all day, but I rarely have time a day for more than one show.

Does Trump known that if he tweets from his iPhone, the Chinese could intercept and read his tweets?

I feel like all you people on the right and left who don’t mail out bombs or ricin just don’t get enough credit, so I just want to say this: Good job!

Journalists aren’t the enemy of the people. The enemy of the people are fire ants. They don’t like people. They sting us. Anyone who is paying attention should know this.

Hey, everyone: Stop what you’re arguing about. I just thought of something important.
What would have happened if the guy had answered “No” when Matt Damon asked “Do you like apples?”?

“Do you like apples?”
“No.”
“Well… um… I got her number, so… I guess… you will not like those apples as well.”

I’m sorry, but the Liam Neeson snowplow revenge movie looks fun and I kind of want to see it.

I’m hoping it’s self-aware enough to have an overt Mr. Plow reference somewhere.
“That name again…”
cocks gun
“…is Mr. Plow.”
fires gun

Michael Avenatti is like a dumber Trump.
That might work for all I know, though.

Candy corn is fine.

You’re not supposed to put a sticker of every crazy thought you have on to the side of your van.
That’s what Twitter is for!

“This too shall pass” should be the motto of politics these days. Whatever you’re screaming about right now you’ll have forgotten about by this time next week.

One crazy guy by himself isn’t much of a data point. Two could still be coincidental. With three, you have more of a pattern.
Preferably, you’d want hundreds over a long period of time to make some really solid conclusions.

I hope James Woods speaks up for Apu. The guy took a bullet for him.

When horrible things happen, that’s when it’s important to be nicer to each other and not meaner to each other.

All scientists agree that music as an art form peaked in the 80s, probably with the song “Everybody Have Fun Tonight.”

We are made in God’s image, and I think a part of that is a sense that many things are very wrong in this world, which is something we try to deal with in our own feeble ways.

Wait—what color dead redemption?

I never paid much attention to Soros. I guess I was kind of dismissive of him after hearing he gave money to Media Matters. That just made him seem like yet another fool wasting money on politics. I mean, those Media Matters jokers can’t even convince themselves of anything.

If you can’t make whatever happened into an argument that reinforces the view you already have, then you’re just not a very good pundit.

“Please add an edit button.”
“Favorites is now Likes with a heart.”
“An edit button.”
“Avatars are circles.”
“Edit button.”
“Names can be longer.”
“Edit button!”
“Getting rid of likes.”
“EDIT BUTTON!”
“Triangle avatars?”

I expect President Trump to make an over the top statement about how bad the press is, and I expect the press to mis-report it.

Antisemitism has always been absolutely bizarre to me; it’s never once in my life occurred to me to be threatened by Jewish people.

Rocky IV is perhaps the most 80s of 80s movies. What else would contest it? Red Dawn?

I’m not usually a gawk at train wrecks kind of guy, but I started following Jacob Wohl. He baffles me. Can anyone explain him? Is he honestly too dumb and too blatant to be a partisan grifter? Is that possible?