A functional media would send one entertainment reporter to cover the Kavanaugh hearings and then spend the rest of their time on actual things that matter.

We’re never going to get another president with this level of entertainment value.

too loudly
Things can only get better from here!

Whoa, bold move by Cory Booker, ripping a really loud one and shouting, “I AM FARTACUS!”

I’m sorry, but it’s looking like only a 5% chance the next president will be any smarter than Trump.

Planet of the Apes had it right: We need a “forbidden zone” and all the bad things we don’t want people seeing should go there.

It’s nice to know that no matter how partisan or divided things get, we call all agree on one thing: I’m a pretty cool dude.

This confirmation hearing just shows the wisdom of my idea that all Senators should wear clown outfits to help everyone treat them with the appropriate level of seriousness.

I don’t care for Trump.
I didn’t care for Obama.
I give it a less than 1% chance I’m going to like the next guy.

The Kavanaugh hearing has been a get really angry at dumb things competition and everyone’s a winner!

Lots of politicians say things as dumb as Trump, but the difference is some of them have the media conspiring with them on the fool idea we’re supposed to take them seriously.

No one is actually against capitalism.

That Spider-man game is only on PlayStation? Is Trump going to do something about that?

People ask how they can be smart and reasonable about politics like me, but I’m sad to say you can’t. You’re going to get worked up about dumb things and look like a fool to me. It’s inevitable. I’m sorry.

If you want to control who can have guns, you’ll need a lot of guns.

People always say “Tax the rich!” without even giving any consideration to the unintended consequences, such as reducing the effectiveness of Batman.

Anytime I see a Commie, I punch him in the face for being a Nazi.

I’ve decided that everything I don’t like is perjury. Don’t @ me; that would be perjury.

If you come at the king, you best not miss. Otherwise, you’ll get some demeaning nickname like “king misser”.

Seeing all the arguing about the US Open, I realized how peaceful it is to see a contentious issue and feel under no obligation to even know enough to take a side.

Whenever I have a doctors appointment, I watch the doctor carefully to see if he ever idly glances above him for a few seconds so I can ask, “What’s up, doc?” It hasn’t happened yet, but this is how we learn the virtue of patience.

There are now photos of Kavanaugh making 12 cats sit in a box and watch a trial, definitively proving he’s guilty of purr-jury.

Lots of people are terrified of Kavanaugh.
Lots of dogs are terrified of vacuum cleaners.

My 2yo is already very pedantic in that if she mentions Pluto along with the other planets she makes it clear she’s talking about the planets and dwarf planets. If they change it again, I don’t know how how I’d explain that to her. Learning experience!
I bet who is lobbying hard for Pluto to be a planet is Ceres. It will be hard to have a definition of a planet that includes Pluto but not it. New 5th planet from the sun!
Did you know Ceres was considered a planet for like half a century before they came up with the term “asteroid.” I don’t even remember hearing about that one as a kid.

Late-stage capitalism? Pfft. Buckle up, kiddos, we’re just getting started!

I don’t get the market for yet another book on how the Trump White House is a mess.
“This is something I already intensely believed, and now this book is once again confirming it!”
Oh, I guess that’s most political books.

My 2yo shocked me. I was looking through distant objects we have high-res images of, and when I saw this one, I turned to her and said in my daddy is going to teach you something interesting voice “Do you know what this is?”
And she said what it was. She shut me down.

I would assume it was a lucky guess, but it’s kind of obscure to guess apropos of nothing. Like if she were guessing, I would have expected her to say “Mercury” or “Pluto.” I don’t think I could have guessed it.
I don’t like my kids knowing more than me this early.

I was in Florida on 9/11, and what I remember is the intense desire to do something. Anything. That evening, the American flag outside our complex fell in a storm, so a friend printed out proper folding instructions from the internet and we went out handled it best we could.

Who goes to ThinkProgress for factual information?

How do you secretly tape Trump and not get anything incriminating? He regularly tweets out incriminating things every day.

Little known fact about Taco Bell: It was named after its founder, Glen Taco.

It’s gotten to the point that even when I agree with the mob, I’m happy when the subject won’t back down or apologize. That’s the way it has to be: If you want a positive response, don’t mob.