In honor of Harvey’s birthday, it can now be revealed that the movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery shockingly* stole not only Harvey’s official title, but lifted word for word some of his biography (as fact-checked by Tropes):
He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. [Harvey’s] childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring he’d make meat helmets. When he was insolent he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve he received his first scribe.
Fortunately for us, the plagiarism stopped there.
*You won’t believe what else the movie stole from him! Click here to find out. Number 8 will leave you speechless!
But, as Rodney Dangerfield says in Back To School, “Oh, you’re forgetting lots of things!”
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fill in some of the remaining blanks in his biography for his MySpace page.
I’ll start:
Harvey was the first consultant to say “Hey, I have it — let’s have our country/western singer dress all in black and wear a huge hat way down low, almost covering his eyes. The originality is what will get ’em!”
I heard Harv bought himself a single oyster for his birthday and then started acting like the horniest person in the world because he read online they are an aphrodisiac.
O Oysters, come and walk with us!”
The Walrus did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.”
The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head–
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.
But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat–
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more–
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
The Walrus and
Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”
I can, at this time, neither confirm nor deny the veracity of any quotes, quotations or other representations of anything I may, or may not have, said on any beach or other location of which I am unable to speak about without granted authority from my superiors who I am not at liberty to acknowledge at this point in time.
He once trained a Dalmatian to do needlepoint—which is a challenge, because Dalmatians are notoriously stubborn and difficult to train. Their lack of opposable thumbs is also a hindrance.
When Harvey was just 17, he signed up to be a life coach for Chuck Norris.
You never see Harcey and Batman in the same room together…
?
I keep clicking “Click here” and nothing happens.