Archive of entries posted on 20th September 2019

Not Cowboy Poetry, But Still Poetry — Courtesy of the National Park Service

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For what it’s worth. The final three stanzas of the poem are the Money-Read Quotes:

–

Thoughts on Fort Marcy
by Lillian Money-Read
(Published in the The Washington Post, April 12, 1936)

. . . My dog bounds down and leaves a darkened trail

Along the silvered hillside, wild with mirth,

His mouth is spread, his limpid eyes a-shine,

His muzzle wet with brown, sweet-smelling earth.

On fair Fort Marcy, thus I dream today.

And hear the swollen creek rush to the river,

With muffled roar like a dreadful battle din

Which made, of old, these frightened forests shiver!

Ah, bright the ferns that clothe these silent moats,

And sweet the lanes where walked the sentinel,

Yet scarce a flower springs on this haunted ground

But marks the place where some young soldier fell!

IMAO Time Machine: How to Identify Racists

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This is from 10 years ago this week. — The Editors

I’m thinking that today a lot of people these days don’t know how to properly spot racists. “That’s easy!” some will say, “Just look for white people!” Incorrect! Racists come in all shapes and sizes (except for octagon and venti). Here is what to look for:

* Racists eyes are quite shifty, always darting about looking for things to be racist about.

* If asked a question, a racist will look up and to the left when thinking of a response since the left part of the brains is where racists thoughts come from.

* Racists are constantly drinking water as racism makes you easily dehydrated.

* Racists are scared of fire.

* Racists like shiny things and will often have a cache of them in their burrow.

* Racists often have leg cramps as they don’t get a proper amount of potassium.

* Racist will bite if angered.

If bitten by a racist, make sure to clean the wound thoroughly. Then subject yourself to people of other racists to see if you start to become angry — a sure sign you have now been infected with racism! If you show signs of racism, get to your doctor immediately.

Now You Don’t Feel So Stupid

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I’ve done some stupid things. I’ve done a lot of stupid things. In fact, I’ve not finished doing stupid things. But I’ve always lived to tell the tale. Or, not telling, because I really don’t want everyone to know how stupid I was.

But some stupid people never told what stupid things they did. Because they couldn’t.


[The YouTube]

Next time you do something stupid and live to tell the tale, you can tell us. We can keep a secret.

Straight Line of the Day: Trump Had a Pocket Full of Twenties…

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Per Yahoo News (9/19/19):

While boarding Air Force One during a fundraising swing through California, President Trump was photographed with multiple $20 bills visible in his back pocket.

The photo, taken at Moffett Federal Airfield in Mountain View by Reuters photographer Tom Brenner on Tuesday, quickly went viral.

Straight Line of the Day: Trump had a pocket full of twenties…

Must Have a Lot More Binders Than Mitt Did

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Joe Biden Aims to Put ‘720 Million’ Women to Work. There’s Just One Problem.
PJ Media | 09/18/2019 | Tyler O’ Neil

On Tuesday, former Vice President Joe Biden said his childcare tax credit would put “720 million” women into the workforce. The problem? There were only 327.1 million people in America in 2018, according to the Census Bureau. . . .

“If you get a tax break for a racehorse, why in [G]od’s name couldn’t we provide an $8,000 tax credit for everybody who has childcare costs? It would put 720 million women back in the workforce,” Biden said at a “Workers 2020” summit put on by the Philadelphia AFL-CIO.

Observers touted it as the most realistic plan put forth by Biden yet.

Like a Live-Action Far Side Cartoon

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Well, today’s the day.

The date selected by some kook for other kooks to gather and make a stupid, futile gesture.

I’m not talking about the “climate strikes,” though. I’m talking about the well-publicized, pre-announced flash mob (only liberals could screw that up) — the storming of Area 51. . . while we have a president who’s OK with nuking storms.

FAA Closes Airspace Around Area 51 Ahead of Alien Raid Event
Digital Trends | September 18, 2019 | Allison Matyus

To deal with any extraterrestrial-seeking attendees of the viral “Storm Area 51” event, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has announced that airspace around Area 51 will be temporarily closed this weekend.

The FAA issued temporary flight restrictions between September 18-23 for “special security reasons” in the Nevada desert where U.S. Air Force’s Nevada Test and Training Range — commonly known as Area 51 — is located. That means no one can fly aircraft in the surrounding area, including would-be alien hunters hoping to send a drone hovering above Area 51.

The closures could be a result of the popularity of the Area 51 Facebook event called, ‘’Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” which has captured the interest millions of people. According to the Facebook invite, 2.1 million have RSVPed as attending the event, though there’s almost no chance even a fraction of that number shows up when it kicks off on September 20. The event’s description reads, “We will all meet up in Rural Nevada and coordinate our parties. If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let’s see them aliens.”

“They can’t shoot all of us” — says one Passenger Pigeon to another.